Lay It All Out

I carefully shut the door behind me trying my hardest not to make too much noise I head over to the bed to turn the lamp on so I can see where I’m going and then head to the wardrobe to find some clothes to wear to bed .

I’m about to undress when I get the uneasy feeling like I’m being watched grabbing my clothes I head to the bathroom change instead , throwing my hair up in a bun and spitting out the last of my tooth paste I head back into the room .

I instantly Freeze at the shadow sat on my bean bag racking my brain trying to think why I did not see him before how long he has been sat in my room .

"Calder are you okay ?"

**Calder's POV**

I watch her stood facing me asking me if I’m okay .

I’m not okay .

Every second I’m away from her I feel lost my mind filled with thoughts of only her Vidar continually pining for his mate urging me to be with her .
And here she stands so beautiful so innocent to her own charms her emerald green eyes seeing into my very soul .

Since I met her it’s been an internal struggle, I’ve wanted to find my mate I wanted to love with her an amazing woman and me the strong Alpha but it’s not like that .
Selene is amazing but she makes me weak the way her eyes search mine after we kiss like she is shocked at what we’re doing, Thy way my body reacts when I see her with someone that isn’t me makes me want to rip there head of their shoulders .

I want her all the time always but she’s pulling away one minute we are drawn to each other making love and enjoying being with each other then she pulls away .
She walks over to me sitting on the end of the bed just near enough for me to smell her scent but far enough that I cannot touch her.

"*Calder what’s wrong why are you in here* "

I clear my throat trying to get rid of the thoughts that racing through my head as my eyes glaze over her bare legs .
"Well I was hoping you would come to my room but your stubborn so I thought I would wait for you here "

She hesitates and twiddles with her fingers on her lap like a nervous twitch . I climb off the bean bag and head towards her sitting on the floor by hands on her knees looking up at her.

"*what are you doing* ?"

Her eyes momentary light up at the touch of my hands on her thighs and I decide to lay it all out on the line whatever is pulling her away from me I want to know or the Luna ceremony on 2 days is pointless we can’t be together if we can’t even spend time together without needing a break right away .

"Selene , what is happening between us ? we keep pulling away and then we collide back together and it’s amazing but then there’s this distance between us "
I can see that she knows what I’m talking about I know she must feel this too she has to tell me eventually .

She shuffles on her bed and slips down it, so we are now face to face on the floor .
"*These last weeks have gone by so fast I turned 21 found a mate got magical power , lost my home and moved in here . I’ve had to deal with people staring at me every time I walked down the corridor with you close* "

She pauses her face swirling with so many emotions .
"*And then we mated, and I saw you with Revna who by the way still stops me to let you know just exactly who you belong too and I’m strong enough to admit that I’m threatened by her . and then we announced me as Luna and your parents are so excited and I’ve heard so many about you too before I go here *"

I pull away from her I know she means bad thing it’s no secret that I have a reputation .

"*I guess I just don’t know you that well Calder I’m going to be the pack Luna and I don’t even know the Alphas birthday* "

A short smile flashes across her face like she just had a weight lifted off of her
"Okay that’s a fair point I will answer any question you have what do you want to know first ?"

She takes my hand in hers .

"*Well I’d really like to know ... if we can move off the floor and sit on the bed because my butt is numb*"

I stand up laughing pulling her up off the floor so she can climb back on the bed and I sit next to the legs stretched out ready for the interrogation.
"*Well I suppose the first thing I want to know is , who is Revna to you *?"

Well if she was going to ask a question she may as well have started with the most complicated one , I rack my brains for the words so I can get this out right.

"Well , my dad found Revna as a baby she lived with friends of my parents and they treated her like a daughter my parents always had a soft spot for her . When her parents passed she moved into the pack house we did spend a lot of time together and for a while I did wonder if we would be mates when I turned 21 it wasn’t her And then 6 months ago after a really bad night I was frustrated "

Selene is not looking at me, but I can see she’s taking it all in .

"Frustrated because I had not found my mate yet and I got stupidly drunk and she was there , I took advantage of how much she liked me and slept with her. When we woke up the next day we did talk and she also agreed that it was a silly mistake and that I’ll find my real mate soon .At least I thought she did after that things became weird between us she would act like we were in a couple I tried to avoid her but she became more obsessed "

This time Selene turns to me.

"*And what about the day I walked in on you and her *?"

"That was a misunderstanding when I got in the room the shower was on so I sat down on the sofa and closed my eyes then I felt hands and I thought it was you it smelt like your body wash and I was just so happy you were in my room and then when you opened the door I realized, Selene nothing happened between us I promise you this, as soon as I realized I kick her out "

I grab her hand in mine cupping her face in the other so I can look I her eyes .

"Selene, I have waited what feel like a lifetime for you I would never jeopardize that "

I can see her glaze slightly and I know she is in contact with her wolf , god I hope they believe me Vidar and I would never do anything to hurt her.
Finally, she snaps out of it and I hold my breath waiting for her to say something I know now that this is what has been bothering her and I guess now she’s going to be with me or pull away for the final time .

"*Thank you for being hinest with me i belive you. I know that you wouldn't do anything to hurt me*"


I pull her so she’s sat on my lap that addictive smile forming and I kiss her , she kisses me back and this time it’s different she fully gives into the moment willingly not letting her wolf take over or her lust lead her mine she is kissing me this way because she wants to .

She pulls away her cheeks a little flushed her rosy pink lips swollen from kissing , still holding her gaze I ask her if she has any more questions.

"*When is your birthday ?*"

" October 31st "

"*Oh, Halloween baby* "

I laugh at the giddiness in her voice.

"*How old are you actually . this one I feel silly for asking but some people say 23 some say 25 I’d just like a real answer* "

"I’m 23 Selene "

We carry on like this getting to know one another in the most basic way after a while Selene starts getting sleepy she slips into bed and pats for me to get in alongside her I strip down to my boxers and I feel her eyes watching me climb into bed I pull her close to my chest feeling the warm between us her arm wrapped over my waist , she was made for me we fit perfectly .

Selene keeps asking me questions and I answer them until I hear her soft snoring signalling, she has fallen asleep .

I lay here holding the woman that was made for me the woman who I am so deeply in love with imagining what our lives are going to be like but I then I think of Arlo he threatens my very future and I have to stop him.

Selene told me a bit about her parents letters and the papers they are going to put the papers in the moonlight tomorrow and she asked me to be there with her she said that I am her family now and honestly I could have made her mine all over again .

I cannot bear the thought of living in this world without the woman lying next to me and if we are going to die, I want to make her my wife first I want to make her mine in every earthly way possible .