Made This Difficult

**Artemis POV**

*"Don’t be so stupid Cynthia, of course, she isn’t leaving "*

Selene’s words echo bouncing off the silence between the six of us, I watch as her face warps into the same angry and confused expression she always had when she was told no, I wait a few moments knowing that she’s going to explode at any moment.

She stands up from her seat sending her chair flying behind her.

*"You cannot be serious the two of you will die out there and more to the point we don’t know this girl why you are risking your life for her when your family is right here "*

"Selene you need to calm down it’s not like I’m going to leave forever I just can’t leave her out there alone the same way I wouldn’t leave you alone if it were you out there. I will come back as soon as I find her "

*"Arti "*

She pauses and breathes deeply, I hold my own hoping what she says next is going to be her blessing to leave I don’t want to go with her mad at me.

*"You and Cynthia are my family the things we have been through... I just can’t let you both leave. Artemis and Ryan as your Luna I forbid you to leave our territories "*

I feel the power of her words force my head into a bow, how could she do this to me how could she bind me here.

*"Selene, you can’t do this to Artemis as sisters we have always been equal you cannot bind her like this. It’s Not Fair !"*

Cynthia protests for me but it’s no use.

*"Artemis, Cynthia I’m sorry I never wanted to do this, but I won’t lose you "*

With those final words, she turns and walks away. Calder remains seated as we all exchange bewildered glances at what just unfolded.

"Calder you can’t let her do this, you have to undo it now "

*"Artemis, even if I wanted to me couldn’t her words are just as final as my own, only she can lift it "*

Then he pushes his chair away an exit to the room after Selene.

I sit there completely stunned by the events that just happened, I thought she would understand. After everything I told her about how it felt to look after them to care for them, I thought she would at least sympathise with how I feel now.

Cynthia leans over and softly takes me hand in hers.
*"Arti, I may not want you to leave but I understand why you need to Selene will come around eventually I’m sure of it. She just needs time "*

She smiles softly and leans over to kiss my forehead.

"When did you become the wise big sister, I thought that was supposed to be me "

She chuckles softly before turning to leave Sigi close behind.

Ryan and I sit in silence once more, of all the times we spoke about telling them that we wanted to look for her neither of us imagined it would be like this.

He stands from he seat taking my hand in his.

*"Arti, I know your hurting, but you need sleep for the first time in weeks we aren’t going out tonight and you need rest "*

I nod and go to stand but I feel how tired my body is for the first time my legs feeling week underneath me and I fall back into my chair, in the next instance I am swooped up bridal style into Ryan’s arms the warmth I’ve been feeling since the first time I realised we were mates covering my body as he heads towards the door with me in his arms I feel myself drifting off to sleep.

As soon as I roll over I see Ryan next to me in the bed has sat upright and read through some of the notes we have been making in Sekreta as soon as he notices I’m awake I put the papers down.

*"Look who has finally decided to join the land of the living after Two days "*

I stare up at him in my half-dazed state.

"Two days. What do you mean two days ?"

*"Well after I scooped you up, you pretty much fell asleep right away and you have been sleeping ever since. You woke up a few times to use the bathroom but honestly, I think you may have been asleep then "*

He smiles and brushes some stray hairs out of my face. I manage to pull myself to sit up feeling like I need to stretch my whole body. Making my way to the bathroom I stare in the mirror, the dark circles under my eyes have reverted to their normal shadows and the whites of my eyes seem less grey.

As I’m heading back into the room I hear our door knock Ryan jumbos from the bed and heads to answer it.

*"I figured you would be hungry, so I asked for some for to be bought up, get back into bed "*

I oblige and Ryan soon closes the door a tray of food in his hand as he makes his way back over to me. He pours each of us cup of coffee placing it on my bedside table before handing me the tray and removing the silver lid to reveal a hot plate of scrambled eggs and thick seeded toast.

*"I figured after everything you’d want your favourite I’m upset don’t talk to me about I breakfast "*

I smile remembering all the little fights we had when we first got together or if I was ever sad
, how he would always apologise or try to make me feel better with this exact breakfast.

I eat it in complete contentment trying to focus on the events of two days ago, but I know Ryan and I are going to have to deal with it eventually, it is still very much my intention to go and find her.

Once I’m done eating I place the tray on the floor beside the bed and turn to him before I can speak he looks at me.

*"Before you say anything. I’m still very much with you on this and I’ve been thinking of ways we could go and find her without defying Selene "*

I raise my eyebrow at him as his face screws up at the thought of what he going to say.

*"I’ve been through all our options but really Arti there is only one "*

"Okay so what is it "

*"We leave the pack to break the bond and pray to the moon goddess they let us back in when we return "*

What he says takes several seconds to register before I can form any kind of sentence.

"Is that really our only option?"

*"Yes, it is the only way to allow us to leave we would have to become rogues"*

"And you would do that with me "

*"I would do anything with and for you if it makes you happy "*

A few hours later after intensive talks between Ryan and I, we have come up with a plan about how we will survive as rouges and where we plan to go first. But the minute we head to Calder’s office to speak to them all, I have so many fears stirring in the pit of my stomach, what are my sisters going to say and will they even understand.

We are both stood outside the door and before we can knock Calder’s calls us to enter. Right away Cynthia moves towards me embracing me in a hug.

*"You look a lot better than you did a few days ago"*

She takes my hand and urges me to sit with her on the sofa where the others are waiting, Ryan follows silently behind I spot Selene but she is yet to look at me signalling she is still mad and I know what’s about to happen is going to make this worse.

Calder breaks the ice in the room.
*"So why did you call us all here? , I assume it has something to do with the other night" *

I now and then Selene’s eyes finally meet my own.

"After the events of the other day, it got me thinking "

I turn to Selene only focusing on her and I can see her eyes hold a slight sadness to them.

"I can understand what you did Selene and why, but it won’t stop me from feeling the way I do about Sekreta, I still very much intend to go and find her. I hoped I would have your support on this, but I see now that’s not the case "

I wait for her to erupt again but she remains silent like a small child being scalded.

"To that end, Ryan and I have decided that our only option is to denounce the pack so we can search for her, so we have come here today to ask permission"
Ryan takes my hand to show we are unified and then I wait, holding my breath as all the eyes in the room turn to focus on me.

*"You care for her this much ?"*
Cynthia’s words are soft, and I know she understands fully.

"Yes, I do. I do not know why exactly but I do, I would hope that when I return we can re-join but that would be up to our Luna and Alpha "

*"I’m not agreeing to this Arti. So, no you don’t have my blessing"*

Selene’s eyes are fighting to hold back tears, I get up from my seat and move to be next to her cupping her face in my hands caressing her cheek with my thumb the same way I would when I would find her alone and crying after our parents died.

"Selene, I came to ask your blessing so we can part on good terms not because I need it as soon as I leave the grounds and defy your order the bond will break. I just hoped that you would say yes I wanted us all to part on good terms, but you have made it more difficult"

She stares back at me for a second before she throws her arms around me and sobs into my chest.

*"Arti please don’t leave me, I don’t know what I would do without you"*

After while she stops crying and pulls herself away, my t-shirt wet and her face puffy and swollen. She dries her eyes with her sleeve.

*"I only did what I did because I thought it would force you to stay, I never meant for you to no longer want to be part of the pack"*

Her words are rushed as she tries to talk between large intakes of breath trying to return to a normal breathing pattern.

*"I can see now that you care for this girl as you do for us and that nothing I can do will stop you. I know when you are determined to do something you will. The fact that you were willing to leave the pack proves this, but you don’t need to I take it back I take back what I said you and Ryan are free to leave the territories as you wish "*

I feel a weight lift from my shoulders as she throws her arms back around me.

*"But you have to promise me that you will stay in contact and that you will come back "*

"Selene, of course, I will come back I have a new niece or nephew to meet and as soon as the house is finished Ryan and I have a branch of this pack to take care of. Selene, you are my home and I would never leave you alone"

Her sobs erupt again, I look out towards the room Cynthia is smiling, Calder and Sigi offer a short nod of approval.

Finally, my eyes meet Ryan's who is staring at me with nothing but pride. This is really happening I’m going to find Sekreta and show her she still has some family left.


*A/N ,
Thank you again for reading this is just a reminder that there will be no update tomorrow the next one being monday ! Happy Reading :)*