Chapter 12: A Complicated Situation

-Serena-

I looked at the mighty alpha Rogan completely shocked. I didn’t know what to think or do. I had thought he had ended whatever this soulmate thing was. I thought, as he had said so himself, that we were free, but apparently, I didn’t understand the situation well enough. He said it had consequences. A price you needed to pay if you wanted to be free, and that price was not cheap. Insanity or even death, or did you die from your insanity? He had not made that clear, but it was definitely not something I could see anyone wanting to go through, so apparently it wasn’t worth rejecting your mate, even if you didn’t want them. Yet, I couldn’t care less about his sanity. I wanted to be free of him.

“And? Do I go insane too?” I asked.

He shrugged.

“Hard to say.”

“Wait? What?!”

I looked at him shocked, and he looked almost … sad? I wasn’t sure. Nothing of this made sense. Nothing! How could I be an animal’s soulmate? How could I be anyone’s? I had a purpose, which was to free this earth from these creatures. Nothing else. I didn’t have time for soulmates or going crazy. I had a mission … I would make sure no one felt the pain that I had felt losing my family.

“So, you are not sure?” I asked.

He shook his head.

“It is rare, but sometimes we find our mates in humans, and when we do … it is believed that the humans feel the bond too. Not as strongly, and they can still walk away if they want to, but it is very rare that they do.”

“But you aren’t completely sure that they feel anything?”

He raised an eyebrow, but then shrugged.

“I haven’t had a mate before, and it has been a while since I have talked to a couple where one of them was humans. I never thought of asking about it just so I knew what it would be like in the future, because I never expected someone like you to be my mate,” he said, growling towards the end.

“Someone like me?! You’re the animal!”

“There we go again,” he said tiredly.

“Oh, am I wrong? Who of us is tied to a chair and almost had their knee crushed?” I asked.

“As if the roles were reversed, you wouldn’t be the one smiling and almost doing a little happy dance.”

I couldn’t deny it, but there was a difference here. I was not hurting innocent humans.

“But of course, we deserve it, right?” he asked.

I laughed in a mocking way.

“What do you think?”

“I think you are really deep in this shit,” he said. “I think you might be more brainwashed than most. Often those in high ranks are.”

I looked at him shocked. How had I figured out that I was of higher rank?

“I’m right, aren’t I? You’re not just any soldier,” he said. “You’re a leader, and you are a smart one. Quick. Fast. You are at least a good candidate, if you aren’t already a leader.”

I just continued to look at him, so surprised to hear him say all these things. He was rather observant, wasn’t he? But an alpha would be. It was important to be, so they didn’t let themselves get overpowered. It was all about knowing your opponent, and that was what I was.

“You went to save your friend.”

“He was already dead,” I said.

Rogan nodded and smiled.

“Yes, and you shot me in the arm.”

“All healed now,” I said.

He looked at his arm before looking at me and continued to smile.

“One of the good things about being born a werewolf is that we heal awfully fast.”

“It makes it annoying.”

“You mean harder to kill,” he corrected, winking at me.

I just rolled my eyes and shook my head.

“Tell me, how can you hurt me if as you said, I’m your soulmate. Didn’t you say you wanted to protect your soulmate?”

“We do,” he said.

“Yet you want to torture me?”

He looked down for a moment, but it was enough for me to read him.

“Or maybe you don’t …” I whispered.

He looked at me again, but I could already see the answer. He really didn’t …

“It’s not that simple …”

“No?” I asked.

“I want to, and I don’t want to,” he said.

I just titled my head to the side in a confused way, and he sighed, annoyed.

“I want answers. I want to protect my people, and I can only do that if I push you, but at the same time, my wolf wants to show you loyalty. He wants to protect you, so, I am in a bit of an inner battle with myself.”

“Your wolf? What does that mean?” I asked.

Why was I even asking all these questions? I shouldn’t be talking to him. I had been taught not to let my guard down, and still I kept asking questions. I kept wanting to know more. It was not safe, and I needed to stop … but I … just … needed to know a little more.

“In us wolves we have a second presence. We share our bodies with something we call our wolf.”

“You share?!” I asked.

He nodded.

“Our wolves guide us. They are a gift from the Goddess. They give us our abilities, and they help us find our mates,” he said.

“Goddess?”

I was just more and more confused, and it only made me want to know more … more … more.

“You believe in God, right?”

I shrugged.

“I believe in what is right,” I said instead.

He studied me closely, almost looking impressed.

“Well, we have a god too. A Goddess. The Moon Goddess.”

I just sighed. I was never a believer. I only believed in myself really because I needed to be strong for the cause. I needed to be able to continue fighting for the humans.

“I don’t believe in such things.”

He smiled.

“I’m not surprised. You humans don’t see the gifts she grants us in the same way. We experience it all the time.”

“Your second presence?”

He nodded.

“Exactly,” he said. “And this mate thing, though I am starting to think the Goddess might have a sick sense of humor.”

*He might be onto something*, I thought, if this Goddess really existed.

“Well, Goddess or not, what exactly are you going to do with me?” I asked.

Rogan looked rather frustrated and tired almost. It was clear he had no idea.

“Can you really hurt me? Like truly?” I asked.

He didn’t answer and just ran his hand through his dark hair.

“Or are you going to let someone else do it?” I asked.

He still didn’t say anything. I asked because I despite all my training, no one truly prepared for you what it was like being captured by these animals. I wanted to know what was going to happen to me, so I could be prepared. I didn't want to risk breaking and let out all my secrets, but maybe I hoped to hear that Rogan wasn't able to hurt me. If he wasn't ... I might just have found a weakness in him.

“Well? What is it going to be? You or someone else?”