Chapter 27: Wants To Trust

-Nova-

It was unbelievable how quickly I fell into a rhythm when I lived with the pack members. It had already been a week since I arrived, and it was clear everyone was getting used to me. Rhys was getting very busy though, so we didn’t spend that much time together, and when we finally met up when it was late, we both were tired and went to sleep, but I knew he was getting more and more desperate for me. I could feel it, as our bond grew stronger, and I knew I was starting to want him even more too. I couldn’t stay here much longer, but I hadn’t gotten any useful information either. I tried figuring out their border control, but so far, I hadn’t, and I couldn’t really listen in on Rogan’s and Rhys’s conversations since there were always people walking around in the house, and the door to his office was placed close by the stairs to the second floor. So, I was starting to just live my life here, not really believing I would ever find my way home … a part of me … liked it though. My wolf too. Never before had we ever needed anything. Money, clothes, food. It was all here. Love too … despite what I had been taught about the pack members, I couldn’t deny there was love here as well.

“Hey.”

Suddenly, a pair of arms snaked themselves around me from behind, just as I was about to lower the towel and get dressed. I looked over my shoulder, seeing Rhys's happy smile on his lips.

“Rhys! I was getting dressed!” I told him.

He chuckled, just pulling me closer and kissing the marking spot. He lingered there for quite some time, and I knew he really wanted to place his mark there, and I wanted it too … I didn’t want to want it, but I did.

*I hate this … Why can’t we just say fuck it all and accept him?*

My wolf really wanted him too, but I had to remind her we had people waiting for us. I couldn’t abandon my brothers.

“Good, put on something nice,” he told me and pulled away.

“What?” I turned around, looking at him confused.

“We are going out.”

“Why?”

“Because we are going on a date.”

“Why?” I asked again.

He chuckled, shaking his head a little.

“Because I have been so busy lately, and I want to spend time with my mate,” he said.

“But …”

“But what? Don’t you want to?” he asked.

“I have never gone on a date,” I told him.

He smiled and then walked a little closer. I felt my heart pick up the pace as he neared me. I couldn’t help but react to him. He was my mate after all.

“Good, I like being your first,” he said. “First and last.”

“I think you like it too much,” I said. “Your ego might get too big.”

Rhys grabbed me, pulling me closer and I chuckled, as he turned me around, and held me closer, while he leaned down to my ear.

“*Careful, little rogue, you might just end up with my handprint on your ass*,” he said.

I just smiled, enjoying the teasing between us. I couldn’t help it. Sometimes I just wanted to lean into it. I just wanted to lean into his touch.

“How am I to get dressed when you won’t let me go?” I asked him and looked over my shoulder.

“Fine. Be quick.”

“Yes, sir.”

Rhys moved back only to spank my ass, and I gasped, turning around, but he just winked at me and walked out. I shook my head but felt really giddy. I had never felt like this before, and I felt really guilty about it too.

I quickly shook the feeling off me though and got dressed. A date … what the hell did I wear? I chose something simple. A dark dress that covered me well and went down to mid-thigh. Rhys had gotten me all these clothes I could now choose from, yet I was not at all used to having so many options, and none of them was stolen! It didn’t feel wrong to dress myself in anything of it. I put on some black heels and pulled my dark hair into a ponytail, just as Rhys came out of the bathroom and met me halfway. He had just taken a shower and quickly kissed me on the lips, before going to get dressed too.

I took a seat on the couch, just feeling so excited. I couldn’t wait to see what he had planned, and when he came out of the closet, he looked damn good, wearing some dark grey pants and a white shirt.

“Ready?” he asked.

I nodded and he held out his hand to me. I walked over to him and took it, and we quickly left the house and went into his car. He got it fired up and then we drove out of there.

“Is it okay for me to leave the territory?” I asked.

I knew they would rather I stayed close to them than let me roam freely around. No one truly trusted me yet, and that was understandable.

“As long as you are with me. It is fine,” he said.

He reached out and took my hand and I squeezed his pack, as we drove closer to the town nearby. He found a place to park in front of this really nice restaurant. I couldn’t help but look around like a crazy person, as we were led to our table.

“This is so nice,” I said and continued to look around.

I heard him chuckle and turned to him.

“What?”

“No, you’re just very cute,” he said.

“Cute?! I am a dangerous rogue!” I said.

Rhys chuckled again and shook his head.

“My bad. Very dangerous.”

I smiled, as we both looked at the menus in front of us, before we ordered our food, and then we were left alone, just him and me. We had a table further away from everyone else in the restaurant, and it gave us a lot of privacy.

“I have never been in a restaurant,” I said.

“Never?” he asked.

I shook my head, and he looked at me shocked.

“The rogue life … we don’t get close to towns a lot.”

Rhys sighed and reached over, taking my hand.

“I’m sorry.”

“For?”

“For the life that you had to live,” he said.

I shook my head,

“Don’t be. It is the way it is,” I said.

“But you don’t deserve it.”

“But others do?” I asked. “People like my mother?”

He sighed and shook his head.

“No … but I can’t save everyone,” he said.

I nodded slowly and squeezed his hand. I knew this. I was not blaming him at all, but I didn’t like to hear that I deserved a better life, because I was not better. I wished I was. I wished I could be better, but a rogue didn’t change. We were the ones who took and didn’t apologize for it.

*But maybe …*

I wanted to tell my wolf no, but I couldn’t have this discussion with her here.

*He is our mate! Just think about it!*

I was … oh shit, I really was.

“I know you can’t,” I said. “I am not blaming you.”

“But that doesn’t mean you trust me,” he said.

“Do you trust me?”

He was silent, and we both smiled a little.

“No … I guess we don’t really trust each other,” he said.

“I fear we never can,” I whispered.

“Don’t,” he said. “I want to trust you. I just need some more time, and so do you.”

I just nodded, because I couldn’t tell him I was going to betray him, but then I felt the tears in my eyes pressing, wanting out, and I quickly looked down, hoping he didn’t see them. He did though.

“Hey, why are you crying?” he asked. “Tonight is supposed to be good.”

“I know … I just …”

I shook my head, unable to find the words without telling him everything.”

“Nova …”

He put his free hand on top of ours, and I felt so warm.

“Look at me,” he said.

I slowly did, and he gave me a small smile.

“Talk to me.”

“I … want to,” I cried. “I want to talk to you and trust you.”

“Then why don’t you?”

“Because … because I …”

I wanted to tell him. The words were just on the tip of my tongue, and for a moment I was ready to tell him everything, but then we were interrupted, as our food arrived, and we quickly pulled away. I dried my eyes and pushed the tears back. I couldn’t cry. I couldn’t be weak. I had to be strong. When the waiter went away, Rhys hadn’t let it go though.

“Nova, what were you going to say?” he asked.

I shook my head.

“It doesn’t matter.”

“It does to me,” he said, and I really believed him.

“Let’s not ruin the night,” I said.

“Nothing is ruined. Talk to me,” he said.

Oh Goddess, why did he have to be so perfect?

“I just … I really want to trust you,” I said. “But I don’t know if I should.”

“Should?” he asked.

“If I … if you and I ever become true mates, then I have to abandon everything I am,” I told him.

“We are true mates,” he said with a small smile.

“I mean completing the marking process.”

He nodded.

“I understand that is a big step, but let me ask you something, Nova,” he said.

I nodded a little, telling him without words he could.

“Were you ever happy as a rogue?”

I stared at him shocked, but he just smiled at me.

“Answer me,” he said.

“I …”

“Because I don’t think you were. I see how well you fit into this pack, and I can see you finding your place here, but of course, I could be wrong. So … am I?” he asked.

Was he?