Chapter 26: Only Bad

-Nova-

Later that day, after eating dinner together with everyone who lived here or nearby, we all gathered in this big living room that almost looked like a bar with a pool table and an actual bar. I had never tried anything like it. Not even eating together. I often ate with my brothers, but never the whole pack, and it was all so damn … wonderful! I hated how much I liked it. I hated how much I liked the coziness and the love. The hunters had even seemed to have found their place among the wolves and were friends with them. It made me wonder if Rhys was right. Could we really find a way to be together? I both feared we could and hoped we could. I was just so torn. How was I even going to choose if it came down to it? No, I had to continue with my plan.

“Here.”

Rhys handed me a glass of Scotch before he joined me on the couch. We were surrounded by others, I was already getting quite familiar with them, and while some were still not comfortable with having me around, others had already gotten used to me. Some even asked me a few questions about myself, but I kept my answers vague.

“So, Nova, do you have any family?” Serena asked.

She was sitting in front of me beside her friend Elisa. I had learned they used to be in the same group that Serena had been the Commander of, and they were quite close. Elisa was also Marcus’s mate, and he was Rogan’s third in command.

“Eh … No,” I lied. “I don’t have any family. Anymore.”

“Dead?”

I nodded and looked down. I couldn’t tell them about my brothers. It was too dangerous.

“Sorry, but it is at least something we understand,” Serena said and looked around the group of people we were surrounded by.

I looked around and saw people nodding. A lot here seemed to have lost family, and it made me almost feel like I was one of them. Sharing a pain could bring people closer. I felt Rhys’s arm tighten around me. He could never not touch me. I turned to him and saw him smile a sad smile.

“Hunters,” he said.

I slowly nodded.

“Mine too,” Serena said. “And your parents?”

“Eh … pack members,” I whispered before taking a sip of my glass.

It seemed to make a lot of people uncomfortable as I said this. Rhys squeezed me a little and I looked at him, seeing him looking at me almost with guilt in his eyes.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered.

I shook my head.

“It’s not your fault.”

It wasn’t … it was his parents’ though and Rogan’s as well, but I couldn’t say that out loud.

“How old were you?” Serena asked.

“Just a kid. I barely remember them,” I told her. “I don’t remember them as very loving though. Rogue parents don’t tend to be. We kind of have to learn not to rely on anyone because you never know when …”

I didn’t have to finish the sentence. People understood what I meant. You never knew as a rogue if you would one day be all alone because someone had killed your loved ones.

“That couldn’t have been easy to grow up in.”

I shook my head.

“I managed. I had people to look after me.”

“But it was your parents that committed a crime, right?” Elisa asked.

I nodded.

“What did they do? Ouch!”

Serena had elbowed her friend, and Elisa glared at her as she rubbed the side of her stomach.

“I was just asking a question.”

“Maybe a very personal one,” Serena said.

“It’s fine,” I said. “My mother was wrongfully accused.”

“How so?” Elisa asked.

“She killed her uncle who was … abusing her,” I told them, and everyone looked so shocked. “No one believed her though, and she took matters into her own hands. When she was judged by the alpha of the pack, she just said she wasn’t sorry, and it kind of sealed her fate.”

“I can’t believe she was actually thrown out for that,” Serena said.

“She isn’t the first to be wrongfully accused,” I said and saw everyone looking at each other a little worried.

Yeah, it was probably not great to hear that some rogues out there were never supposed to live that sort of life.

“But she met my dad and they kind of had each other’s backs,” I said.

“And your dad was wrongfully accused?” Serena asked.

I shook my head.

“No … He was not … He killed his best friend for sleeping with his, at the time, mate, and then killed her too,” I said.

Everyone looked even more shocked and I could understand how it sounded. It was crazy to even think I had them as my parents, but we didn’t choose our parents, and they barely even got to raise me before they died.

“That is some story.”

Rogan suddenly appeared, sitting down beside Serena, and it was clear he had heard most of what I had said. He had been playing a game of pool with Marcus and a few others but had now come to join the conversation. He made me very uneasy though. Scared the shit of me actually. The stories definitely did him justice. He was one scary alpha, and yet when he looked at Serena, it was like he completely changed.

“Not a pretty one,” I whispered.

“But you never did anything?” Elisa asked.

I shook my head.

“How come?” she asked.

I shrugged, not wanting to get into details about how my brothers never allowed me to really leave the house unless I was just going for a small walk.

“I got lucky perhaps,” I said with a small smile.

“You must have,” she said.

Rhys grabbed my free hand and I looked up at him, seeing him looking at me almost a little concerned, but I just smiled at him, telling him I was fine. I didn’t mind them asking me questions as much as I thought, because they didn’t do it to be cruel. They were just trying to get to know me. I had never tried anything like that.

“Well, hopefully, you will never have to,” Serena said.

I turned to her and smiled.

“Now that you are going to be part of this pack, you will never be forced to commit any crimes.”

“Serena,” Rogan warned.

“What?” she asked.

He just looked at her, and Serena just looked confused. I understood why Rogan was being careful. He was the alpha after all, and while Serena had been taught to hate all wolves, Rogan had been taught not to like rogues.

“It’s fine,” I said. “I know I am not welcome yet.”

“You will be,” Rhys said and looked at his friend.

Rogan turned to him and just nodded.

“With time.”

Rhys and he were almost having a silent discussion and I didn’t like coming between them, because even if Rhys was starting to let me in, I understood why Rogan didn’t trust me, and he had every right to. I was going to betray them because I was a rogue, and that was who I was.

“Yeah, with time,” I said and interrupted their little silent discussion.

They both turned to me and I smiled at Rogan before turning to Rhys.

“I haven’t earned the spot yet,” I whispered.

He sighed and nodded a little. It was clear he really wanted me to though.

“It’s going to be fine,” I whispered.

“I know,” he said and pulled me closer before kissing my temple.

I felt warm all over, but I knew I shouldn’t feel like this … I was bad … I would only be bad.