Chapter 48: Need To Let The Past Go

-Serena-

I looked over at Rogan, who was putting on his jacket. He had so many weapons strapped to his body. Wolves might be able to change, but weapons could hit targets further away, and it was a big help since the hunters would definitely be using their weapons. No wolf was invincible. They could be killed, and a bullet through the brain was an instant ticket right to the land of the dead. It was best just to play it safe. I was strapping a knife to my thigh when he came over to me.

“Are you okay?” he asked.

“Define okay,” I said and smiled.

He placed a hand on my back and gave me an encouraging smile.

“You’re going to be fine. We all will,” he said.

“You don’t know that.”

He sighed.

“No, I don’t know that …”

We looked at each other for a little while, just drinking each other in. We had no idea what was going to happen today. We had gone over everything for most of the day, waiting until it got darker. We needed to use the night to our advantage, but we knew it wouldn’t be such a simple mission. It was all going to end tonight. Either we gave up or they did.

“But I want to believe it’s going to be okay,” he said.

“I never relied much on hope,” I told him.

He smiled and pulled me closer, holding me against him.

“No, I can’t imagine you did. You’re a soldier. You rely on your skills only.”

I nodded and smiled, loving how he understood me so well.

“They have never failed me,” I said.

Rogan smiled.

“I believe I won over you,” he said.

I chuckled.

“Well, it wasn’t one on one,” I joked.

“I see.”

Rogan turned me around, making me gasp surprised, and then wrapped a big arm around my middle, pressing me close to him.

“Nowhere to run now,” he whispered in my ear.

I smiled and was about to elbow him in the stomach when I suddenly felt something cool against my throat.

“My knife?”

He nodded and bit my skin gently.

“You should really keep better track of your things,” he teased me.

“You wolves are just very fast.”

“Not that much faster,” he said. “And we have got weaknesses too.”

“Not many,” I gave back.

He kissed my cheek and then turned me around, before handing me my knife.

“But we do have got some. You’re my new one.”

I froze, as I had just taken the knife. I looked up at him, looking so surprised.

“What?”

He smiled a little and stroked my cheek.

“You’re my new weakness,” he repeated.

“How so? I thought I made you stronger.”

“You do and you don’t,” he said.

“That makes no sense.”

He chuckled.

“Maybe not to you, because you still think like a soldier and you’re not a wolf, but if anything happened to you, it would break me,” he told me.

I looked at him shocked, not sure what to say. It was hard to imagine my death ever breaking anyone. I had always just been another number. I had always just been another soldier. My name might be written down somewhere if I died, but no one would weep. I was just another hunter, so it surprised me so much to hear this from Rogan, hearing how much he cared.

“You know usually people go down on one knee when they are purposing,” I joked because I had no idea what else to say.

It made Rogan laugh.

“Oh, so I am proposing now?” he asked.

“Well, wasn’t that just a love declaration right there? *If anything happened to you, it would break me,*” I said and lowered my voice and became all dramatic, as I impersonated him.

“You just love to push my buttons, little hunter,” he said and wrapped an arm around me again, pulling me close.

“Really? Where’s my ring?” I teased.

“You want one?”

“Would you get one if I did?” I asked.

He nodded.

“I would give you anything you wanted. Say the word.”

I smiled and then got on the tip of my toes before kissing him.

“You’re more than enough,” I told him.

“So, I am better than a ring,” he teased.

I chuckled.

“Definitely.”

I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him slowly when suddenly his phone interrupted us. Rogan groaned and pulled it from his pocket before looking at it.

“The others are ready,” he said.

I sighed and leaned a little away.

“I guess there is no turning back now.”

He shook his head.

“Do you want to?” he asked, always checking in with me.

“No,” I said. “I can’t.”

“Yes, you can,” he said. “I would understand if you are not ready.”

I shook my head.

“I have to be,” I said. “I need to be.”

“Serena—”

“This war has cost so many lives. Innocent lives on both sides. It costs me, my parents. I could have grown up so differently if they had never been killed. Maybe it would have been so much easier for me to accept you then,” I told him. “I don’t want to rob more hunters of a better chance.”

He sighed a little but then nodded.

“I understand.”

“And I want to avenge my parents. I want answers,” I said.

“You don’t just want to kill the High General?”

I shook my head.

“I need to know if she was part of it,” I said.

Rogan seemed almost a little sad and just ran his hand down my hair.

“Whatever you find out, don’t let it change you,” he said.

“What do you mean?”

“The answer you seek might just change the way you look at the world,” he said. “Things like these just change you.”

“You’re scared I won’t want you?”

He shook his head.

“No, I’m scared you might just let it haunt you and won’t be able to let go of it. Get the answers you seek and then put it to rest. Your parents aren’t coming back, and neither are mine. We need to move forward,” he said.

I looked down for a moment before meeting his beautiful green eyes again.

“Okay, I won’t let it haunt me. I will let it go after tonight,” I promised.