Chapter 101

\*\*Megan\*\*

I look around to see the woman that has been serving us looking over at me. I look away from her and take my phone out of my pocket. I go to text him but realise I have no network coverage. I sigh and look back around and I see him walking towards me. I sigh in relief. He sits back down at the table and pours himself a cup of tea. I watch him as he sits silently making his tea just how he likes it.

“Tell me what you’re thinking,” he says suddenly. I look him in the eyes and he looks down at his tea and stirs it a little. “Please,” he adds.

“You get angry easily and I don’t want to feel the way I do towards you, I want to be comfortable with you all the time not just 50% of the time,” I say.

“Ok,” he sighs and takes a sip of his tea. “Neither do I,” he says and looks at me. “How about I get help for it then?” I ask.

I look down and it all slowly starts to make sense now. I’m not right enough to have a relationship. My shrink even said so and I just thought that it wouldn’t matter because he understands me more than anyone else in the world. I just didn’t think about the toll it would have on him. I feel myself slowly start to cry.

“Can we be moved please?” I hear him ask. I then feel his arms go around me and he slowly lifts me to my feet. I look to see we’re moving to a booth that’s in the corner and by the look of it, it’s normally used for a parties of more than four. I sit down and slide up the leather bench and he slides in next to me and now no one can see us.

“Why are you crying?” he asks.

“I’m sorry,” I say trying to stop myself. I’m not heavily crying, just silently crying.

“What’s going on in this head of yours?” he asks moving his hand over my head and down to my back. “I’m ok with getting help for my anger if I’m honest I’ve been thinking about it for a while, not about my anger because I thought I had that under control,” he says. I look at him.

“I never thought about you,” I say.

“What do you mean?”

“This relationship and me I didn’t think about how I would affect you, how my moods and everything that has happened, I just always thought about myself,” I say and he sighs a little.

“All any of this does to me is make me angry, I mean there are times where I just feel useless and I get angry at myself because I don’t like to feel out of control of things and that’s how I feel.Right now I’m angry, not at you. At what happened to you just a few days ago. I want to go kill someone and I can’t, I am probably taking it out on you and I shouldn’t because it’s not your fault. I’m also taking it out on Carl I’ve noticed that and with what you’ve just said to me. I...” he sighs and looks down “that could possibly be the worst thing I’ve ever heard anyone say to me,” he states and I look down.

“I’m sorry,” I say quietly.

“Don’t be, it’s an eye opener,” he says and I look at him. “I went outside to get some air and think clearly, I spoke to David, I was just going to leave but he said something that made me think and come back,” he pauses “I also just want to know what you’re thinking,” he says. I smile a little and look away from him. “Maybe telling you I won’t ever hurt you won’t make you feel a hundred percent safe with me when I’m angry but I don’t know what else to say to you and if you know of anything that will help just tell me and I’ll do it because you mean everything to me Megan,” he says and I look at him.

“I feel the same to you,” I say look at him.

“That’s good,” he says with a small smile “I’d be running tests on you if I didn’t I mean I am amazing,” he says and I smile.

“You have to feed your ego,” I say and he smiles and hugs me.

“I’ll make some arrangements tomorrow,” he says “and please don’t think any of this is your fault, I’ve been thinking about it for a while,” he explains. “If you do, I'm going to have to make you watch more horror movies on your own though,” he says and I look up at him. “What? There’s three other Paranormal Activities,” he says and I glare at him.

“I’ll hate you forever if you make me watch horrors on my own,” I say and he laughs.

“Can we eat now because I’m starving, I’m sure I’ve lost weight since this morning?” he asks and I pull away from the hug and give him a nod of my head.

\*\*Logan\*\*

I move my arms around Megan’s waist, after earlier I didn’t expect us to get back to being us again. I expected her to go back in on herself and just make me work to get her to talk to me again. I kiss her neck and hold her tightly to me as she looks out onto the river. She turns her head towards me and kisses me softly.

“Where next?” she asks.

“Food?” I ask. She smiles at me and shakes her head.

“We ate not long ago and I’m sure you were eating while I was shopping,” she says. I pick up two of her shopping bags and she picks up the other two.

“Ok I know where next,” I state “I just want you to try on a dress,” I state and she smiles up at me.

“A dress? Why?” she asks and I smile.

“I just want you to try it on, I wasn’t sure of your measurements so I want to make sure it fits,”

“You bought me a dress?” she asks her eyebrows rose.

“It’s for a ball I have to go to next week and well you’re going to be my date so I need to get you a dress,” I explain and she looks at me.

“Oh I’m going to be your date? I don’t think I heard you ask me,” she states and I smile.

“Will you be my date?” I ask.

“Of course,” she says and leans in and gives me a quick kiss and we walk hand in hand back to where the shops are.

\*\*Megan\*\*

Logan held a dark green one sleeved, floor length dress that seemed to overlap and join at the right side of the waist giving it a draping affect.  I look at him and then at the dress and then back at him. A blonde woman stood at the side of him, her hands clasped in front of her chest waiting for my reaction and she seemed happy that we were using her services as if it was an honour to have Logan and I in the shop.

“Are you serious?” I ask.

“Just try it on please,” he begged.

“I don’t know,” I say looking at the dress and shaking my head. It is a beautiful dress and I know it is but looking at it I know I won’t do the dress justice.

“Just try it on and if you don’t like it I’ll pick a different one,” he states.

“You picked that dress?” I ask shocked.

“No Carl did, he insisted that it would look great on you and that I bought it,” he says and I notice something in his eyes as he said that. “But I think he’s right,” he says quickly. “Please,” he pleads.

“Fine,” I sigh and roll my eyes. He smiles and I take the dress from him. The blonde sale assistant leads me towards the changing rooms. I walk into the changing room and it was quite large. It had four hangers three full length mirrors and a small buffet.

There were two reasons why I did not want to try on this dress, one being I was not wearing the correct underwear for a dress like this and two, I know that it will not look good on me. I get undress and stand in front of the full length mirror in front of me. I never fully look at my body when I look in the mirror I mostly just concentrate on the clothes I’m wearing and make sure they cover any scars.

Pulling on the dress I realise that this will not cover all my scars, yes it covers any scars I have on my legs and the recent one on my rib cage but I don’t think it will cover my back very well. I zip it up the side and then walk out of the dressing room to see Logan sat with a glass of wine in his hand. He looks at me and smiles. He places the glass on the tray provided and then walks towards me.

“There’s some shoes for you to try too,” he says and looks towards the woman that is serving us. She holds a pair of silver white court shoes towards me. I take them and put them on.

“So...” I ask as I walk towards him.

“Look in the mirror,” he states as he turns me and leads me to look in the full length mirror. He stops me a few steps away from the mirror and looks at me from the mirror. “What do you think?” he asks.

I look at myself and turn to the side a little to look at my back to see it didn’t cover all the scars on my back. I look at him and then back to the mirror focusing on my back.

“It’s a nice dress, I just don’t think it’s for me,” I say quietly.

“Have you even looked at how you look in it?” he asks.

“Yeah and it doesn’t cover my scars Logan,” I answer. He sighs and moves my hair over my back.

“Now your scars are covered,” he states. “Just wear your hair down on the night, it will look really nice,” he states.

“You really want to get me this dress?” I ask.

“Yeah you look amazing in it, I love how it fits you,” he says and moves his hands down from my shoulders to my waist and kisses the shoulder that is uncovered. I smile a little place my hands over his. “Plus it’ll go with my tuxedo, although it’s pretty much black and white I can add a bit of colour to it thanks to this dress,” he says and kisses my neck once more.

“Ok,” I say looking at us both in the mirror. I have to admit I do like the fit of this dress and  I do look good in it. He smiles and lets go of me.

“Go get changed quickly, before I get more turned on,” he says. I smile and walk back into the changing room.