Chapter 194

**Megan**
**The Next Day**

I lay in bed as I hear Logan groaning in the other room. He sounds like he’s in pain. Last night I heard him shouting at David to let him out and then what sounded like something hitting the door. 

Stroking my stomach, I try to think about something else. It works until I hear a bang. I’ve been awake most of the night. All I know is that he didn’t eat the food Lorraine gave him. It was only a sandwich, which is nothing compared to what he usually eats. 

Getting out of bed, I wrap my thin dressing gown around me and go downstairs. I’ve not had any morning sickness this morning. It would seem Lorraine’s remedy works. Either that or I have to just stick with lighter foods. 

Walking to the kitchen, I hear Lorraine and David talking. 

“I can’t give him that right now, he’ll probably throw it at my head,” David states. 

“That bad?” Lorraine asks. 

“It’s the pain. He can’t deal with. I’ve been trying to get him to shower since yesterday morning, he won’t, just tells me to fuck off,” 

“Maybe let Megan go in, he might listen to her,”

“And what if he doesn’t and he throws something at her instead or hurts her,”

“He wouldn’t hurt her,”

“Not purposefully, he went for me, and he’s never gone for me,” 

I frown and peak in to see they’ve got their back to me. Lorraine’s right he wouldn’t hurt me, shout at me maybe but not physically hurt me. With my mind made up, I sneak in and take the plate of toast from the island counter to then sneak back out, which is hard to do with Max following me. 

Walking up the stairs to where Logan is, I see the key in the door, and it’s wiggling, I tilt my head and notice a piece of paper sticking out of the door. I smile a little and take the key out. I hear Logan swear and then get angry. It would seem he was trying to knock the key out of the lock to then slide it under the door with the paper so he could escape. Smart.

“Arsehole,” he shouts. I put the key back in and unlock the door. Opening it up, I see Logan sitting against the wall that is on the side of my bedroom. I shut the door behind me and place the plate on the chest of drawers. 

Logan is sitting in just his boxers, his body looks so pale, and it seems he’s sweating and shivering. His knees are up, and his head is laying on them with his arms covering him. I slowly make my way towards him and kneel in front of him. 

Now I’m closer I can tell he’s not washed. His hair is wet with sweat and messy from running his hand through it. In all the time I’ve known him I’ve never known him to smell of bad BO like he’s smelt sweaty before from being in the gym, but this is a different kind of smell. 

“Logan,” I say gently. His head shoots up so fast I think he possibly gave himself whiplash. 

“Get out,” he snaps and moves away from me. “You can’t see me like this,” he panics. His eyes are wide and glassy. He looks like a scared animal.

“Logan, it’s ok,” I move towards him and move my hands to his face kneeling over him. He shakes his head, “It’s ok, I needed to see you,” I say.

He relaxes a little, and I see his eyes dart around the room. He hugs me and rests his head against my stomach. His strong arms wrap around my waist. I sigh in relief and stroke his hair, and I can feel just how wet it is. 

“I brought you some toast, will you eat it?” I ask. 

“I’ll throw up,” he stutters out. That explains the rotten smell in the room.

“Me too,” I say and feel him kiss my stomach. 

“How’s my baby doing?” 

“Making me starve,” he looks up at me. I smile a little and sit on my heels to look him in the eyes. “What about a wash then?” I ask. He nods and shakily gets to his feet. I walk with him into the bathroom and turn on the shower over the bathtub. He gets into the tub, sitting down and rubs at his face before moving his hands through his hair. He groans in pain as the water hits him. 

“Please Megan,” he says as he rests his head against the tiled wall. “Just give me something,” he begs. 

“I couldn’t if I wanted to,” I say to him as I reach for the shampoo to clean his hair. 

“Just one more hit, I promise it’ll be the last one, just something to take this pain away,” he begs. I sigh and rinse the lather from his hair. “Do you even really love me?” he scowls. 

“Logan,”

“If you did, you’d get me something,” he says. It’s then I notice David stood at the doorway of the bathroom. He sighs, Lorraine pushes past David and then gives us both a small smile. 

“I can’t Logan,” 

“So you just want me to suffer,” his voice booms at me, making me jump. “What kind of a girlfriend are you, letting me be in pain like this,” he growls. I move from washing the suds from the second lot of shampoo and look him in the eyes. 

“Do you love me?” I ask him. He nods.

“Of course I do,” he says in a completely different tone. 

“Do you love our baby?” I ask and touch my stomach. 

“More than anything in the world,” he says, and I smile.

“So just get through this Logan, for us, remember,” I say. He nods “Otherwise we’ll have to leave,” he nods again. I sigh in relief as he looks at me like I hold all the answers. I give him a small smile and continue to wash him. I hear Lorraine tell David she can tidy up a little in the room. I hadn’t even looked at the bedroom. 

“Talk to me,” he says through shivers. 

“I went dress shopping yesterday for prom,” I say. 

“You’re going?”

“Yeah, with Courtney, we decided to be each other's date, although I overheard that Kenneth wanted to ask her out, so I might be going solo yet,” I say and move the loofa down his back. “I also had my Math exam,” 

“How...how,” he stops, and I can see the frustration on his face. 

“It went ok, I’m no mathematician, so I’m not getting my hopes up,” I say with a small smile. “Oh and I’ve not been sick today, yet,”

“Were you,” he cuts off when his muscles tense up. 

“Yesterday was bad, I couldn’t keep anything down, I only managed to keep a chicken salad down, so that’s good news, it’s trying to force me to be healthy,” I say, trying to distract him from the pain as I wash his legs. 

This goes on for about ten minutes. The whole time David stands at the door and watches. I know it’s to make sure he doesn’t lash out at me, but I don’t think he will but from what I’ve seen he’s unpredictable. He begged me to give him some heroin which again I couldn’t if I wanted to. I told him I didn’t know where to get any, that was when he told me he had some in his room. David told him he hasn’t, that it’s gone. He just sat and scowled at him. He did tell him he’s going to kill him. 

It would seem all of his anger is directed at David rather than me. He did call me a bitch and then apologised, I just told him it was ok. There’s no point in getting angry or taking it personally, he’s not himself, and he would never normally do any of that. 

Logan lays on the bed with his head is on my lap. I stroke his damp hair and look at David. He’s looking at something on the mirror.

“What’s wrong?” I ask. 

“Nothing,” he says, and he sticks something to the mirror. I look to see it’s the sonogram I showed Logan. I smile, I didn’t even know he had it. I look down at Logan to see him watching David. 

“It helps me focus when it gets too much,” he says. He’s calmed down a lot from ten minutes ago.

“I have another scan on Tuesday,” I state. He looks up at me. “Because I don’t have regular periods the doctor decided to count the pregnancy from the date of conception, so I’m eight weeks today,” I say with a small smile. 

“But it takes about ten days for the implantation,” he says. I frown at him. “The egg releases but then it can take up to six days for the sperm and egg to form, and then it takes time to implant,” he explains to me. 

“Why do you know that?” I ask with a smile. 

“I don’t know,” he says with a shrug, and the action must have caused him some pain because his grip tightened on my leg. “So technically you’re probably six weeks, and four days, you must have missed more than one tablet though for you to release an egg on the day we got back together,” 

“I’m not sure,”

“Unless you took something or drank something that had made it less effective each day,” he says. 

“You’ve thought about this a lot,” I state.

“Not much to do in here but think,” he states.

“True,” I say and stroke his hair. 

“Megan,” Lorraine says. I look up from Logan to Lorraine. “You need to eat something,” 

“Ok, I’ll be down in a minute,” I say and look back at Logan. 

“You’ve not eaten?” 

“I didn’t want to be sick,” I say. 

“Go eat, I’ll be ok,” he says, and he tries to get up from me. He seems to have no energy. It’s as if his body is too heavy for him to move. I get up from the bed and give him a quick kiss before leaving. Lorraine gives me a small smile as I walk into the kitchen. She places a bacon sandwich in front of me. I’ve never in my life thought bacon smelt so good. 

“I thought I’d see if you can stomach bacon, I couldn’t get enough bacon in my first pregnancy, hated it in my second,” she tells me. I smile and bite into the sandwich. Maybe now things can get better.