Chapter 154
**Megan**
Logan looks at me as we sit next to each other at the dining table. He’s sitting at the head of the table, and I'm sitting at his left side. When we got back, Brett was in, and Eric and Lynn had decided to visit. I had to tell Brett that they didn’t know about Logan and me.
Carl, David, and Lorraine are all sat around with us. Lorraine seemed pleased to meet them. I guess it can get lonely been in this house on your own all the time. Lorraine and Lynn get on like a house on fire; they both have a love for cooking. I didn't know Lynn had her own little business, a small flower shop in town.
"What do you think, Megan?" Lynn asks me. I look at her and move my foot from Logan’s leg under the table, but he traps my foot between his thighs. His hand moves onto my foot, holding it over his thigh.
"Sorry what?" I ask.
"Working at my shop in the summer? That way you can have some extra money for college," she states.
"Yeah sure," I don't have the heart to tell her that I won't be in the country come summer.
"Good it gets hectic in the summer, we sell more potted plants than bouquets," she says with a smile.
"I don't know much about plants though,"
"Don't worry. I have a handy little guide book you can use,"
"Have you thought about college?" Eric asks.
"I didn't think I'd get the chance to go if I'm honest, I gave up on the idea last year,"
"Oh," Lynn states, and looks down at her food and an awkward silence fills the table. I feel Logan's hand move up my calf to my knee. I look at him, and he smirks a little before taking a sip of his water.
"It's ok," I say trying to lighten the mood, "before everything happened I had my heart set on Harvard, but because of everything my grades dropped, so I was thinking of doing summer school and maybe pick up some classes and defer a year to get into college, which one I'm not sure. But I think a year out will help, so I'm not too bothered at the moment," I explain.
"You've thought about this a lot," Logan states. "Is that what you want to do? Do you want to stay here and go to college?" He asks, and I realise what he’s asking. I shrug and look down at my plate of food.
"If I get good grades, I could go to college anywhere. Thanks to the inheritance from my mom, I have options," I state and look back at him. He lets go of my foot.
"I see," he states, and stands up, making my foot drop to the floor. He picks up his plate and walks out with it. I sigh and look back at my food. It seems Lynn hadn't noticed that Logan isn't happy.
"That's good, options are a good thing, have you thought of travelling?" She asks.
"That'll be good," Brett states, "your mother wanted to travel," he says.
"I've not thought about travelling," I say getting up and picking up my plate. "Is anyone else done?" I ask.
They shake their heads, take my plate into the kitchen. Logan is rinsing the pots and putting them in the dishwasher.
"Are you annoyed with me?" I ask. He shakes his head without looking at me. "When I say options I mean so I have options in England," I state. He stops and looks at me.
"I'm not annoyed with you, I'm annoyed at myself, I should have realised that there are things you'd want to do, I can't expect you to put your life on hold for me,"
"I'm not putting my life on hold for you, I want to come to England and if I want to do anything like travelling I will. I'll do it with you," I state and place my hand on his chest. "What are you thinking?" I ask, and move him away from the sink. "I told you I wanted to go with you,"
"I know, I just didn't think about what you wanted to do before you met me,"
"Before I met you, I wanted to go to Harvard, and that was it. I'd planned on making sure Tyler got the grades to come with me. I didn't even think of anything else," I pause and look away from him, "and then when everything was happening, I didn't think I'd get to college, I thought he'd kill me before I'd get the chance," I state.
"And now, what do you think of doing?"
"Besides you?" I ask with a smile and move my hands down his body to the buckle of his jeans, "I've honestly not thought about studying, I've just been taking every day as it comes, I'm in no rush to go to college or travel the world, I just want to get through each day at the moment,"
"OK," is all he says, and leans in to kiss me. "When you know, tell me," he says between kisses. I then hear someone clear their throat. We pull away from each other and look to see David with Brett.
I move away from Logan and walk out of the kitchen, leaving him to deal with them.
\----
Logan looks at me as I lay across his bed in only his t-shirt and a pair of panties. Lynn and Eric are staying and only went to bed just over half an hour ago, and I texted him asking him when he was coming to bed, and I got no response.
I look away from him back to my phone to carry on playing my game. I feel the bed weigh down, and his hands move up my bare legs to stop at my thong. He kisses my neck and moves up to my ear.
"I'm sorry, I was discussing something with Carl,"
"Hmm, you seem to spend more time with Carl than me lately," I state, not looking away from my city simulation game. "There's only so much satisfaction a girl can get by herself," I say, and as I say it, I feel his hands move up my body even further. He sits across my butt and moves his hand up my back to my shoulders.
“You never said anything to me,” he lifts his t-shirt to my shoulders and massages up and down my back.
“I figured you were enjoying your time with Carl, he must do things I don’t do,” I state with a small smile. He flips me over onto my back, so I’m looking up at him. He takes my phone out of my hand and places it on the bedside table before moving the t-shirt I’m wearing up over my head and holds my arms above my head with it.
“Trust me when I say no one does anything that you do to me,” he states and leans in to press his lips to mine.
“So what’s going on with you? If I didn’t wake up next to you, I’d think you were ignoring me,” He sighs and moves off me to sit at the end of the bed. I kneel behind him and move my arms around him, pressing my hands to his chest while laying my head on his back.
“I’m stressed,” he states “And I took that out on you earlier, I’m worried about you, Jonathan, going back to England, I’m trying my best to make you feel safe, and I feel like I’m failing you,” he explains and places his hands on mine. “I’d never let him hurt you again, and don’t get me started on how I’m feeling about the students that talk about you, that stresses me out.”
“Why?” I ask. He turns and looks at me.
“It’s more than just Tyler and his friends, have you not noticed how they say hi to you more and more, they want you,”
“Well I don’t want them, I want you, I have to put up with how the girls talk about you, I just sit in class thinking, ha I’ve seen him naked,” I say with a smile, and he smirks. “I’m not interested in anyone else but you,”
“I know, I just sometimes think you’d be better off with anyone else but me,” he says. I frown and move my hand up to his face.
“Why are you thinking like this? I don’t understand where this is coming from this insecurity. You’re not bad for me Logan, you’re too hard on yourself, everything you do for me is perfect,” I sigh and press my lips to his. “I feel safe, I know I don’t go out anywhere, I know I’m keeping myself trapped, but that’s something only I can control, that’s for me to figure out myself. You don’t need to be worried about me, look at me, I’m sitting here in front of you in just my underwear, a few months ago, I never thought I’d get to this point. You gave parts of me back that I thought had died, and I know no one else, but you could have done this,”
“I’m not a good man Megan,”
“I wish you’d see yourself how I see you,”
“I scared you today,”
“Yes,” I say honestly. “I know you’d never hurt me physically. I was scared because you’ve never shouted at me like that before, it was different. I didn’t want you to be angry with me, and I thought maybe you were finding me annoying with the things you said, which made me question if you want to be with me, that’s what I was scared of,” I explain.
“I’m sorry,” he states and kisses me. I move my hands to his neck, holding him to me.
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