Chapter 15

Logan

“Do they fit then?” I called to Megan from outside the changing room. We’ve been shopping for the best part of an hour and have only found a couple of things

“They fit,”

“Can I see?” I ask . There was a long pause and then the curtain opened. She walked out in a pair of black skinny jeans. “Come here,” I say. She sighs and walks towards me and I stand. “They’re a bit big I’ll see if they’ve got a pair in a smaller size,”

“They don’t have a smaller size,” she mumbled. “Can’t we just leave this for when I’ve put on a bit more weight?”

“No,” I said and frowned a little. “They do fit a little so we can buy them because you will be putting weight on,” I paused. “You’ll just have to buy a belt,” I say.

“Ok,” she murmured and walked back into the changing room. I sat back on the buffet waiting for her.

“Are you buying the top too?” I ask

“Urm,” there was a long pause “Would I put weight on everywhere?” she suddenly asked.

“Urm well yes,”

“Ok good,” she paused once more. “I’m getting the top, because it should fit me soon,” I frowned a little confused about what she was about.

We walked out of the shop after paying for a pair of jeans and a top that I did not think was her style but whatever floats her boat. “I need to go to an underwear shop,” she states. I looked at her “I’ve gotten smaller in a certain area,” she mumbled. I smirked a little “Don’t laugh it’s not funny,”

“I’m not laughing, I’m smirking at how cute you looked saying that and how hard it looked for you to say,”

“Well it’s embarrassing, you're my teacher and worst of all you're a man,” she states.

“Ok I’m sorry,”

“And anyway I don’t know why you're laughing at me when you’re coming in the shop with me,” she said walking off. I blinked a couple of times registering what she had said.

“Wait no I can’t go in there with you,” I said going after her “like you said I’m your teacher and oh my god a man I can’t possibly go into a shop full of underwear for women and...And,” I started to stutter and then she started laughing.

“Don’t worry there’s mens upstairs, so you go upstairs and I’ll stay down stairs, and we’ll meet when we’re done,” she suggested.

I sigh in relief and a little smirk plays on her lips, “Ok that sounds brilliant,” I said, running my hand through my hair.

“Well give me some money then,” she said, holding her hand out. I looked at her “Please,” she said quickly. I smiled and took my wallet out and handed her fifty dollars.

“Is that enough?” I ask .

“Urm if it’s not I’ll come back to you,”

“Ok then,” I paused “you do realise it won’t take me long,” I paused once more “I actually don’t need any,”

“Lucky for some I just don’t know my size right now,” she muttered “you see if I didn’t lose weight on top I’d be fine,” she said and then looked up at me.

“Well I know my size,” I said with a small smirk and started to walk in front of her.

“So does Julie, Yasmin, Melanie and me unfortunately,” she muttered as she caught up with me. I looked at her. “You don’t remember the condom incident?” she asks. I frowned and then mentally slapped myself “Ah now you do,” she said with a small smile.

“Ok,” I said, clearing my throat “let’s get going,” I said and walked into the store. I heard her giggle as she followed me. I turned to look at her and she closed her mouth shut.

An Hour Later.

I sat waiting for her outside the shop on one of the benches available. It was taking her a while, it only took me about five minutes and while waiting for her I had two ice creams and I’ve completed a game on my phone which I’m proud of. I also managed to finally beat her score at bejewelled. No one beats me. I'm a master at that game.

“Logan,” I heard her voice echo. I looked up from my game to see her standing there.

“One sec,” I said as I finished off the game. I felt her sit next to me and then lean over me to see what I was doing. I was nearly there, nearly knocking her off the top spot.

“My boobies have gone,” she suddenly said, causing me to drop my phone. She giggled and I glared at her.

“You did that on purpose,” I huffed.

“Sorry,” she says. I smiled and looked her up and down before I picked up my phone.

“They haven’t gone,” I said and the expression on her face made me realise what I had just said. “Urm sorry,” I quickly said “I wasn’t looking I was just saying because they can’t exactly get up and walk off,” I stuttered and then gulped. She made me so nervous. Sometimes it was unbearable, I was really relieved when I realised she didn’t remember that I told her how I felt about her but also a little disappointed. She smiled and tilted her head and then hooked her arm with mine.

“You’re cute when you stutter,”

“Cute,” I mumbled and let her drag me to another shop. There was one thing I hated being called and that was cute.

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**Megan**

Logan shut the trunk and got in next to me. He looked at me while I started unpacking my phone. I had gotten the same phone I had before, exactly the same colour and make, however I did get it a little cheaper than before. Logan tried to get me to get the new IPhone but I could tell he only wanted it to play games on it. He seemed to like his gadgets.

I sigh and put my seat belt on. He looked at me and raised his eyebrows a little “I can’t be bothered,” I said “I’ll finish sorting it out when we get back to the house,” I state. He nodded showing he understood and then started the car.

“Do you still want to go see Melanie?” he asks. I nodded and looked out the window. Then I heard the sound of the radio filling the car and then a song I knew well.

“I like this song,” I muttered more to myself than to him as I recognized it as a song by Florence and the Machine. ‘There's a drumming noise inside my head’

The song finished and I slowly brought my legs up to my chest and rested my head on my knees and looked at Logan to see him smile a little. I frowned at him “Why are you smiling like that?” I ask .

“Can you never tell when you are singing?” he asks as he looked at me, now that the car had come to a stop due to traffic.

“I wasn’t singing,”

“You were,”

“Oh well sorry,” I said and closed my eyes.

“No need to be sorry, you sing really well,”he states and I felt his hand on mine. “Don’t you like singing?” he asks.

“It’s not that,” I mutter “I used to sing all the time with my mom and then she died and I did sing a little but then Benjamin started saying things about my singing and how he hated it and that if he ever heard me sing again, he’d make it so I’d never be able to make a sound,”

“What do you mean?” he asks. I opened my eyes and looked at him.

“He held a knife to my throat and told me he would carve my voice box out,” I explained. I watched him look out the window and his facial expression changed slightly.

“You don’t have to worry now,”he said and changed the car gear as the light went green.

“I’ve angered you,” I state. He looked at me “don’t say I haven’t, because I of all people know what anger looks like,” I said softly.

“I’m angry at your father,” he said the word ‘father’ in disgust “and I hate the fact that’s what he is to you, a father when he doesn’t deserve that title,”he states. “When I think about what he has done to you it makes me so angry and I get so frustrated and sometimes I have to punch something just to let it out because I get so...” he sighs “I can’t even think of the word I’m getting that angry just thinking about what he did to you.”

“It’s ok,” I said and then looked at where we were going “as people keep telling me it’ll all be ok soon,” I mumbled.

“You never make me angry so don’t ever think that ok,”he states. I nodded without looking at him “good,” he paused and I felt him take my hand again, only this time resting it on the arm rest between us. “Look at me Megan,”

“You’re driving, you should keep your eyes on the road,” I state while looking out the window.

“I’ll pull over if you don’t look at me,” he threatened. I giggled a little and looked at him.

“Was that supposed to be threatening?”

“A little but I’m not too good a threatening woman,”he states and then we stopped at another traffic light.

“Why do you want me to look at you?” I ask .

“Because I want you to tell me that you understand while looking at me because I don’t think you do,”he states. I sigh and look at him properly to see him looking at me.

It was weird how I felt so comfortable with him, like I could be myself. He had this way of making me feel like I was worth something. I wasn’t sure how he did it, it may be how he looks at me or how he treats me and speaks to me, but something was there that made me feel like what had happened over the past three years never happened. That my parents never started arguing over me, that my mom never died and my father didn’t get ill.

He smiled at me and leant forward while moving my hand to his lips. “Are you just going to sit there and stare at me?” he asks. I felt myself blush and I moved my face out of sight.

“I wasn’t staring at you,” I state “you were staring at me,”

He chuckled and I felt his lips on my fingers “C’mon before the light goes green,” he urged on. I looked at him fully now.

“I know that you won’t hurt me, you've told me that and I understand that you won’t get angry at me,” I state while holding in a ‘but’ he sighs and looks away from me.

“I’m waiting for the ‘but’,”he states.

“I don’t know,” I said quietly. He looked back at me.

“Ok,”he said and kissed my forehead “I’m not going to force you,” he said and started to drive again. I sigh a little; I didn’t understand why he was so patient with me. Anyone would have given up by now, would have just told me to piss off or something or get angry with me.

“You really scared me the other night,” I said quietly and silence laced over us. I didn’t even mean to say that.

“I know,” he mumbled.

“I thought you were going to hit me,” I turned away from him and he remained silent.