Chapter 99

**Megan**

I sigh and look down, this is all our relationship will ever be. Just me and him and if he wants children then he won’t be with me. There’s no if about it, he does want children, he wants more than one and I can’t give him them. What is the point of us being together if we both know we’re going to break up at some point?

“Sorry about Stacey,” the chef says, bringing me out of my darkened thoughts. I look at him to see him looking at me. I smile and take a sip of my drink. He places a plate in front of me. I look down to see a very fancy looking omelette. He places a similar omelette in front of Logan “Enjoy,” is all he says and walks out of the kitchen. I take the knife and folk he placed beside the plate as he put it down and start to eat.

“After we’ve eaten we’ll set off,” he suddenly says. I nod and play with my food a little. “Do you not like it?” he asks.

“Yeah, it’s lovely,” I say and place another piece in my mouth. What is the point in us even going anywhere? I want to go back to bed now I know where our relationship is going to go. I can’t even believe it took me this long to realise that we can’t last. I sigh and I feel my eyes start to well with tears. I take a deep breath and try my best to stop myself. This is just heartbreaking. I don’t even know what I’ll do without him. He’s helped me through so much and before him I didn’t even picture myself having a life and now, I can’t think of a life without him in it.

“Stop it,” he says suddenly. I look at him to see him chewing his food and looking down while resting his forehead against his raised fist. He turns to look at me. “We’re not focusing on any of that,” he states. I look down and gulp down the lump in my throat. I close my eyes and a tear roles down each side of my cheek.

“I can’t help it,” I say quietly. “I can’t have children and you want them,” I say. He sighs and stands up taking his plate with him and he places his plate in the dishwasher. I didn’t notice him finish it. “Where are you going?” I ask.

“I’m not discussing this,” he states. He walks towards me and kisses my cheek while his hand wipes my other cheek. “We have plenty of time for this conversation and by the time we have the conversation I may not want them,” he states looking me in the eyes. He leans in and kisses me on the lips, I pull back and look down. “Please don’t dwell on this,” he begs.

“Ok,” I sigh and start to eat my omelette. I know that when this conversation does come up it will turn into an argument.

“Just enjoy today, ok?” he asks. I nod and look at him. He kisses me once more on the lips and then pulls away. He walks towards the sink and leans against it as he looks through his phone.

“Where’s Max?” I ask.

“He’s not allowed in the kitchen, Jeff won’t let him,” he says not looking up from his phone.

“Who is Jeff?” I ask.

“The cook,” he states. I nod and continue eating. I tilt my head as I admire the midnight blue V neck sweater he has on. He’s wearing a white t-shirt underneath it and it’s a tight jumper. Not too tight but I’m guessing it’s only tight because of his muscles. I feel myself smile a little as the image of his muscles goes through my mind.

“Thinking of something nice?” he asks taking me out of my thoughts. I look at him to see he’s smirking at me.

“You could say so,” I state and finish off my omelette. He walks towards me and takes my plate from me. “Thank you,” I state. I stand and finish off my glass of juice and then hand it to him. He puts my plate and glass into the dish washer and then takes my hand in his. I walk with him out of the kitchen to the foyer. He lets go of my hand and takes his phone out of his pocket.

“I’ll just go put my jacket on,” I state and walk up the stairs to our room. Our relationship seemed to be up and down more times than a yo-yo. I just hope it’s not always going to be like this. I’m hoping that once I finish school and we’re able to be together properly and I’m not so messed up that everything will be ok between us.

\---

Logan moves his hand into mine as I step down from the plane. He hadn’t been very talkative on the drive to the airport and on the plane to France. He looks at me and I can tell that he’s been in deep thought about me, but that I don’t know.

“Are you ok?” I ask.

“Yes, I’m just hoping you’re warm enough,” he says and I smile.

“Don’t worry about me,” I say walking with him through the airport. “Where are we going first?” I ask.

“I figured we’d take a look around and do a bit of shopping. I’ve booked for us to go to a restaurant later in the evening and it’s up to you if we stay the night here or not,” he states.

“Can we go to the Musee du Louvre art museum? I ask smiling at him.

“Sure,” he says “Anywhere else?” he asks.

“Well I can’t come to Paris without seeing the metal construction that is the Eiffel tower,” I state. He laughs a little.

“It’s an eye sore, I do wonder what possessed them to build it,” he says with a shake of his head. “I prefer the South of France, I have a villa somewhere,” he says frowning.

“Yes that shows how rich you are when you don’t even know where you own a villa because you own that many,” I state and he smirks. “You should use the benefits,” I say as we get out of the airport. A car pulls up in front of us and Logan opens the door for me.

“I would but then I’d get bored and soon enough they will no longer be benefits,” he says to me as I get in the car. He gets in after me and looks towards the driver.

“Good flight sir?” the driver asks. I look to see it’s David.

“As good as expected how was yours?” Logan asks.

“Horrible,” he says shuddering “you’re lucky I love you like a son sir,” he says and looks away from us.

“He hates flying,” he says and I nod.

“Why did you fly him out here then?” I ask

“Because he needs to man up and stop being a pussy,”

“I heard that,” David says “it’s because he’s evil and knows I can’t say no because of my wife, she likes the fact she gets a free trip to Paris,” he says. I look at Logan to see him looking at his blackberry. He sighs as he looks down at it and starts to text.

“Something you don’t like?” I ask.

“Yeah but it’s nothing I can’t handle,”

“Me stop being a pussy he needs to man up and get control back of his own company,” David says.

“It’s not mine it’s my father’s he shouldn’t have gone and got himself killed so if his company goes downhill it’s his own fault,” I raise my eyebrows at what he said. I’ve noticed he’s very cold towards his father, his mother not so much but bring his father up and there’s a sudden chill around him. I often wonder just how bad his relationship with his father was. I could probably ask him about him later on most likely when he’s not so stressed but right now would probably be a bad idea.

“Sorry, give me a minute my uncle is been a dick,” he says. I nod and move my hand on his leg. I want him to know that none of this bothers me and that I know that he has to become this business man then there are fall backs to it and I’m ok with that. “Urm are you hungry we can go for something to eat first,” he states. I look at him to see he’s still preoccupied with his phone.

“Yeah that sounds good,” I say and lay my head on his shoulder.

“Good because I’m starving, then you can drag me around shop after shop,” he says with a small smile.

“You’re always hungry,” I say closing my eyes. I feel so tired after all the stress of this morning, I just feel drained. I know that if I trusted him more, this morning probably wouldn’t have happened, I just can’t shake of the feeling that there’s something he’s not telling me even more now that I know his uncle doesn’t even want us to be together. There’s so much we need to talk about and we just keep brushing everything under the carpet. We need to just talk to each other but I know it will end in tears. I want to tell him how I’m feeling, how I’m truly feeling but I can’t bring myself to do it not now. I just don’t trust him with my feelings anymore.

“Are you ok?” He asks me suddenly. I nod and feel him move his arm around my shoulders.

“I’m just thinking,” I state.

“About?” he asks.

“Everything we seem too scared to talk about,” I say and he looks down at me.

“Like what?” he asks.

“You know what,” I state “you cheating on me, what happened at my grandfathers, the fact your uncle doesn’t want us together, the fact I can’t have children and you want them, my nightmares-“ he cuts me off.

“That’s you not me,” he states and I can tell by the tone of his voice he’s angry. I sit up and look at him. I notice the screen between us and the driver slowly go up.

“Yeah and you know why but the others is you too,” I state “and let me finish,”

“There’s more, and I’m not scared to talk to you about anything, i just don’t see the point in talking about things that don’t matter right now,”

“But they do matter,” I say and he looks away from me “what’s the point in us been together and wasting our time together when we’ll never be happy with each other when we both want different things,”

“Megan can we not have this discussion now?” he asks.

“When are we going to because you’re always saying not to have this discussion now but we’re going to have to have it at some point?” I ask.

“Not now,” he snaps at me and I look down a little “can you not just have a good day for fucking once, if you want to have this fucking discussion now then fine but don’t start complaining at me and crying at me when we start arguing,” he says his voice raising a little. “I’m sick of fucking arguing all of the god damn time,” he breaths.

“Ok,” I say and move away from him, making a clear space between us.