Chapter 112

**Megan**

“So it’s big then?” Julie asks, looking at me. She had come rushing into my room after Logan left. Apparently she found it super sweet of him to come and see if she’s ok. She had walked in on me telling Yasmin and Melanie that we did go further than a kiss and, Julie being Julie, she demanded details. I could get away without telling them the details if Julie wasn’t here.

“Bigger than I expected,” I say quietly and Yasmin laughs.

“You mean because it’s bigger than Tylers,” Julie says and I roll my eyes as they all start laughing.

“Yeah I guess,” I say with a slight giggle and they just laugh at me.

“Aww you've gone all red,” Yasmin says and I just look away from them.

“Do you think you’ll both have sex now?” Melanie asks and I shrug and play with a piece of thread that has come loose from the bottom of my jeans. “Do you want to?” Melanie asks.

“I don’t know, he’s already told me that we wouldn’t be having sex anyway until I’ve left school,” I explain and they nod in understanding.

“That’s a long time,” Yasmin says and I nod. I know that is a long time and I already have a feeling that I’d be ready for sex soon, just because of how much Logan makes me feel. I trust him and I know it won’t be long until I trust him completely with my body. “Do you think you’ll both last that long?” she asks and I frown at her “I’m asking because it will be difficult for him and yourself to not want to take things further,” Yasmin explains.

“Plus he’s cheated on you once already so… there’s not much hope,” Melanie says and Yasmin looks at her, her jaw opening wide. “What?” Melanie asks.

“You can’t say that,” she explains.

“She’s right,” I say quietly and look away from them “I have thought that will happen again and I don’t know I feel that if he does do it again I don’t want to know, I’d rather not know,” I say and Yasmin and Melanie both frown at me. “I don’t think I’ll be able to handle news like that again,” I inform and stand up. “C’mon this conversation is depressing,” I say and start walking out of my room.

**Logan**

“Dump her,” My uncle snaps at me as I carry on running on the treadmill. I look away from him “I don’t understand how you cannot see that this is the best thing to do,” he states. He reaches over to the treadmill and presses the button to make it faster. I look at him and he smiles “The longer you ignore me the faster this will go,” he states. I just look straight ahead out of the floor to ceiling windows. 

The speed gets faster and I run as fast as I can, I try not to concentrate on how fast I’m going as long as I keep going. What he needs to understand is that I can’t dump her not after what we’ve been through and with how much I love her. He’s wrong to say that our relationship won’t work because of my past and because of hers. Just because they need me here next year doesn’t mean I can’t be with her, I have the money to be with her, I can travel back and forth to America every weekend, when she has holidays at school she can come here to see me, we can make long distance work.

THe treadmill is going too fast for me to keep up, I reach for the emergency stop magnet and pull on the string attached to it to make it stop. I move off the treadmill and reach for my towel as I try to get my breath back.

“We can do long distance,” I say and he laughs.

“Yeah because she trusts you that much,” he says and I just glare at him.

“Just leave it alone, she and I are together and we’re staying together, I will not go back to my old ways and we’re not bad for each other,” I pause and wipe my face with the towel “yes we have our own problems but that does not mean we aren’t ready fro each other,” I explain.

“Fine how about this you have 24 hours or I expose to her just how evil you can be, then we’ll see how much she wants to be with you,” he retorts and starts to walk away from me.

“How can you,” I bristle.

“I have the police reports that never went official and well the pictures of all the people you have nearly killed, all with your own hands,” he explains “the girl really needs to know that the man she’s planning on spending her life with is more violent than her own father,” he states and that statement hits me like a ton of bricks.

My body feels heavy as his statement lingers in my mind. I can’t have him tell her, she’ll never speak to me again, she’ll be scared of me and I cannot risk that.

**Megan**

“Logan,” I call as I walk towards the gym. He has been in here for hours. Everyone is getting ready for the party that is been thrown. I walk into the gym to see him punching a punching bag. I stand watching him for a few seconds before I decide to interrupt him. It’s then I see that he has earphones in. “Logan,” I say loudly and he stops and looks at me. He gives me a small smile and takes out his earphones. “Everyone is getting ready for the party tonight, don’t you think you should start?” I ask.

“Yeah sure, I’ll be up in a minute, I’m just letting out some frustration,” he says and puts his earphones back in. I could watch him work out all day, he is quite the image.

It is no wonder he attracts so many women every time he’s out, his sapphire blue eyes look so gentle and soft and his contrasting dark hair is a silk dark brown. I wonder if what we plan to do is going to work out. He must be sexually frustrated already afterall he was a massive player and he has slept with lots of women. I do have the fear that I am not enough for him even if we were sleeping together, I don’t truly believe that I am enough and I know that is more my own problem than his. Yes he cheated on me but what did I expect after I did tell him it was ok to sleep around. My own insecurities did this, I am as much to blame as he is.

Walking out of the gym I bump into David, He gives me a small smile and walks past me into the gym shutting the door behind him. I frown a little their chats seem to be very secret. I shrug it off and walk back up to my room to get ready.

I decide on some simple navy washed skinny jeans and a tight vest top. I feel a little confident in wearing this, maybe it’s because I know that the people that are coming don’t know me, they don’t know what I’ve been through. That gives me some comfort as it means they won’t be looking for any signs of harm like the people at school do.

The door opens and I look to see Logan, I give him a small smile. He looks me up and down and then walks towards me and kisses me hard on the lips. I smile a little and move my hands to his shoulders. He’s all sweaty but I don’t mind it, he doesn’t smell funky so it’s all good. I pull away from him and look him in the eyes.

“Is everything ok?” I ask.

“Yeah, you just look hot so I had to kiss you,” he answers, I smile and move onto my tip toes to kiss him. His hands snake around my waist and he presses himself to my body. He seems a little off, it’s almost like he’s holding onto me for dear life. I pull away again.

“Go get a shower,” I say moving back onto my feet. “You don’t have long and we can’t stay up here they’ll think we’re being naughty,” I grin.

“I don’t care,” he replies and leans in to kiss me. I turn my head giving him the cheek.

“Go get showered,” I say giving him my sternest of looks. He smiles and takes his hands from around me to walk into the bathroom. I smile to myself and start on my hair, I decide on putting waves in it with the flat irons.

Logan doesn’t take long in the shower. He’s out after ten minutes and now he’s nearly dressed. He’s sat on the edge of the bed fiddling with his phone. I put down the flat irons and look at myself in the mirror, my hair was good enough. I turn them off and then turn to him only to see he’s deep in thought.

“Are you ok?” I ask while walking towards him. I stand in front of him and he looks up at me.

“I need to talk to you,” he says and I frown at him. The last time he needed to talk to me was to tell me he had cheated.

“I don’t want to know,” I say and I can feel my eyes welling with water, “I don’t want to know this time, in fact I don’t want to know any other times, if you’re going to cheat just keep it to yourself, I can’t go through that again,” I say and move my hands out of his.

“What? No it’s not that,” he hastens to say, standing up.

“Then what is it because every time you start a conversation like that you tell me something bad and I don’t want to know,” I say and I can feel myself on the verge of bursting into tears. I step away from him and try to blink back the tears. He looks down at the floor and moves his hand in his jeans pocket.

“This is for the best,” he says looking at me and my frown deepens. He takes a deep breath and looks away from me. “I think we should break up.”