Chapter 190
**Megan**
Walking into the house, I’m faced with a large duffle bag. I frown at it and then hear Brett coming down the stairs. He stops and gives me a small smile.
“What’s this?” I ask. “Are you going to Vegas again?” I ask.
“No,” he says with a sigh and stands in front of me. “I have to leave,”
“What? Why?” I ask. He takes my hand and sits me down on the stairs with him. We only just started to bond. I’ve finally been able to accept that he’s my father and now he has to leave. That’s unfair.
“My boss is sending me back out, I know I said I wasn’t taking any more assignments but because it’s to do with my last assignment and my cover wasn’t blown I need to go. I’ve tried saying no, that I can’t, but they said I had no choice, I either do it or I’m committing treason,” he explains.
“How long will you be gone for?” I ask knowing it will be longer than what he says.
“They told me a year, so probably three, whenever they tell me how long I tend to triple it,” he pauses and looks down.
“Ok,” I say, making him look at me.
“It’s the last one, they promised me. They told me that they’ll let me go after this one. I made them make a contract so that they can’t go back on their word,”
“When do you leave?” I ask.
“Now, I said I’d set off once I was able to talk to you,”
“I need to tell you something,” he frowns as I look around and then stand up. “We need to go somewhere more private,” I state.
“Ok sure, is everything ok?” he asks. I don’t reply.
Taking him by his arm, I pull him towards the games room. Shutting the door, I sit down in one of the chairs. Looking at him I thought I’d be scared to tell him, but I’ve always been able to tell him things and him being my true father hasn’t changed that.
I get up and make him sit down instead. I may not be scared to tell him, but I’m scared he’ll go in search of Logan if he’s sitting I can stop him.
Pacing up and down, I rub my hands together. It’s like a band-aid, once I say it, it’s out there.
“You’re making me nervous,”
“I’m pregnant,” I blurt. His jaw drops, and he’s silent. I wait a couple of minutes and still nothing. “Dad,” I say. He looks at me and then jumps up onto his feet. His eyebrows furrow and his mouth closes into a thin line.
“I’ll kill him,”
“No,” I say, stopping him by blocking his way. “He doesn’t know,”
“What do you mean he doesn’t know?” he snaps
“I haven’t told him yet,”
“Megan,” he pleads and I know in that tone he’s asking, why?
“I’m going to tell him; it’s just, I wanted to get everything right first because there is a huge chance it will die,”
“What?” his anger turns to concern.
“I have scarring inside from the miscarriages I had and well it’s not great, but I spoke to my doctor, and she gave me some advice and told me my options,” I explain. He sighs and pulls me into a hug.
“I can’t believe you’re making me be a grandad at 38,” he says.
“I might not yet,”
“What do you mean?” he pulls away from me.
“Abortion doesn’t sit right with me, but I might have to go down that route, it’s not something I think I’ll choose. There’s also the other risks; I just don’t want to get peoples hopes up,”
“Is that why you’ve not told him?”
“Yeah, what do I say to him, oh, by the way, I’m pregnant, but chances are it will die,”
“Well no, he loves you, and it’s something you both need to go through together, you just need to say it, and then you can both discuss it together,” he explains.
“I’m just scared,” I feel my eye’s sting with tears as I admit that.
“Well it’s scary, but you will do fine,” he says and pulls me into a hug. “Are you only telling me because I’m leaving,”
“Yeah, you can’t kill him if you’re gone,” I say, and he chuckles.
“Very true, I won’t kill him if he does right by you,” he states and kisses the top of my head.
“It sucks that you’re leaving,”
“I know, but I’ll be back, I promise,”
“Alive,”
“I promise to be alive,”
“We only just started connecting again,”
“We did, but it’s something we can work on when I get back, and hopefully I get to meet a mini version of you or Logan,” he states. I smile a little, “I’m hoping a mini you because you were so adorable when you were younger,”
“Am I not now?”
“Yes, just bigger,” he teases. I smile and pull away from him. “Are you ok, though? With this?”
I nod and sit in the gaming chair. I’ve not sat and asked myself how I actually feel about this. All I’ve worried about is how Logan will feel and what will happen between us.
“Are you happy about it?”
“I’m not sure, after speaking with my doctor I feel a little better about it, I’m just not sure. I’ve never wanted children, but when I saw the scan, I had this overwhelming feeling, it’s hard to explain, and the thought of getting an abortion makes me feel sick like I’m doing something wrong,”
“That’s because it doesn’t feel right to you,”
“It’s different to how I felt with the first pregnancy I had, I was so clinical about it and knew that was what I wanted and needed to do, I never got a chance though,”
“It’s because you feel different about this,” he says. “You know that this pregnancy, although a surprise it’s happened with someone you love, it would only make sense that you love the baby too,” he explains.
“Yeah, I guess you’re right,” I say and smile at him.
“Tell Logan, it’ll be fine, if not I think David will beat him up for me instead,” he says with a grin. I love how he and David get on well. It’s honestly nice to see.
“I will,” I say with a small smile.
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