Chapter 46
**Megan**
The feeling of safety was the first thing I felt as I started to wake up. The bed sheets on my bare skin kept me warm not to mention the body next to me. A yawn escaped my mouth as I stretched feeling that the body was fully clothed and very muscular. The body moved, making me move with it, their arms going round my waist as they moved me on my side. My eyes finally opened and I slowly turned to the side of me to see Logan laying there happily sleeping. A frown formed on my face and I looked at my clock to see it was two in the afternoon. My eyes widened and I turned to start shaking him.
“Logan,” I said quickly, “Logan, wake up,” his eyes slowly opened and he looked at me.
“What,”he said, yawning and turning to sleep again.
“It’s nearly two o’clock,” I say.
“Hmm it’ll be fine,”he said sleepily. I sigh and look down at him counting down to three in my head. He looked cute sleeping bless him, he looked so vulnerable and strong all at the same time.
“1” I said and he shot up.
“Shit,”he said, getting up out of my bed and his hand shot to his leg as he collapsed onto his knee. I got up and walked towards him. “Fucking hell,” I smiled it was even cuter hearing him said that with his accent. He then sighs and sits on my bed “Can I borrow your phone?” he asks.
“Yeah,” I said and he reached for my phone that was on the bedside table. I looked down once I started to remember things from last night. My head hurt like hell because of the alcohol. I sigh and laid back down and turned so my back was towards him.
“Hey...I know I’m sorry I’ve just woken up, there were a few problems last night which caused me to be up all night...no she’s ok...I know in future I’ll call earlier and I’m sorry I didn’t expect to be up all night,”he said over the phone. I sigh and squeeze my eyes shut. He had stayed up all night waiting for me and I just threw his efforts in his face, no wonder he didn’t care about me any more. I heard him put my phone on my bedside table and then felt my mattress go up.
“Why were you sleeping in my bed?” I ask .
“You were crying in your sleep and I never meant to fall asleep,”he states. I sat up and looked at him. He was now standing at the foot of my bed. His hair was a complete mess and his eyes were bloodshot.
“You stayed up then?” I ask .
“Yeah until you had stopped and I remember thinking to myself I’ll leave in a few minutes but obviously I fell asleep because I was just going to get a shower and leave for work as it was about half five when you stopped crying,” he explained
“Where’s Brendan?” I asked and I wished I hadn’t because the look on his face was heartbreaking. He gulped and shrugged and turned. “Logan,” I said, which caused him to stop.”I’m sorry,” I said quietly and felt my eyes start to water. “I understand why you hid the box from me and I understand why you have given up on me and I understand why you don’t care about me any more but I need you to know I’m sorry,” I cried. He sighs and starts to walk to my door. I cried harder and laid down on my bed covering myself up and now I didn’t feel as safe as I did five minutes ago and I didn’t feel as warm. I felt cold and somewhat emotionally unsafe.
“What did you and Brendan do last night?” he asks. My eyes widened, he hadn't left, I sat up and looked to see he was locking the door and his back stayed facing me “Megan,”he says.
“Nothing,”
“Please don’t lie to me,”he says.
“When I came back upstairs I ask him to sleep with me,” I state. He sighs “But,” he turned to look at me “he wouldn’t because he knew I was upset and hurting, all we did was touch I swear,” I say.
“So why are you in your underwear and why was he in his underwear when he left your room?” he asks. I sigh and cross my legs and bring the quilt cover up to cover me.
“He was in his boxers anyway because his clothes were soaked and I was well...” I trailed off and covered my face. “We didn’t do anything,” I cried “please just believe me,” I heard him sigh and then my bed weighed down and his arm moved around me.
“I’m sorry,”he said and pulled me into a hug. I took the covers from my face and looked at him, “last night I didn’t mean what I said I just saw how you looked at me, you really seemed like you hated me so I figured there was no need for me to keep having these feelings for you and when I said I didn’t care I was trying to convince myself that if I said it and hurt you enough then I would stop feeling the way I am for you. But that didn’t work as when I came up the stairs and I saw Brendan leave your room the only place I wanted to go was here in this bed,” he explained.
“I understand,” I said quietly. He moved his arms around my waist and pulled me towards him. “Will you stay here with me?”
“I wouldn’t have locked the door otherwise,”he states. I smiled and looked up at him “but you’re going to have to put some clothes on, I have not had sex for a very long time and your underwear is not leaving a lot to my imagination,” he explained. I felt my cheeks burn and could tell they had gone very red as he smirked at me. I sat up and went to get out of bed but stopped.
“It’s cold,” I said and climbed into bed snuggling into my pillow. He sighs and then takes off his t-shirt. I smiled and took it. “This will drown me,” I said and pulled his t-shirt over my head. He smiled while looking at me “What?” I ask .
“Nothing, you just look very cute,”he said and pulled me into a hug and kissed me on the lips. My whole body warmed up instantly as his hands went around my waist holding me tightly to his body. He moved his body so I was now in between his legs. My hands rested on his chest and he pulled away. He smiled and kissed my cheek to my ear. “You’re so beautiful,”he said in my ear.
“Shut up,” I said and tapped his chest with my hand while blushing immensely at his compliment.
“I’m serious,”he said and kissed across my jaw line “every...bit...of...your...body...is...beautiful,”he said in between kisses and then kissed me on the lips. “Admit or I will tickle you,”he said looking at me.
“No,” I said and leaned in to kiss him and as I did I felt his hands nip my sides and then do it again. I giggled “stop it,” I say.
“Then admit it,”
“Fine...fine you’re right,”
“I’m right about what?” he asks.
“About how I look,” I said, diverting the words he said.
“You see that’s not saying that you’re beautiful,”he said and started to tickle me once more.
“Ok, ok I am beautiful,” I said and pushed myself off his chest. There was one thing I hated more than most things in the world and that was getting tickled. I’m a very ticklish person and I will give up straight away.
“That was easy,”he said and pulled the covers over us. I smiled and rested my head on his chest. “I never meant to hurt you,”he says. I sigh and snuggle into his chest hearing his heartbeat loud and clear. “I guess when
I saw you with Brendan I was jealous, really jealous and I still am. Hurting you has never been my intention I swear and I feel like a complete shit head for it,”
“Logan shut up,” I said as I moved my hand up to his neck “I’m trying to sleep,”
“I’m just trying to say how sorry I am,”
“Yeah well don’t, I don’t want to hear it just let me go back to sleep,” I snapped and there was silence “please,” I quickly added on and he chuckled while moving my head up so he could kiss me. “This isn’t letting me sleep,” I said still with my eyes shut and in between his sweet kiss. I felt him smile as he moved a hand onto my bum. He slowly pulled back from the kiss and laid down fully and I got back comfy on him. Laying my head on his chest he took my hand intertwined my fingers with his and his thumb stroked the scars on my wrist. I went to pull my hand back but he stopped me.
“It’s ok,”he said, “In a way these scars are your past showing you that although you were in pain you’re still here,”he said and kissed the top of my head. “That’s what scars are there for,”he said and rested my hand on his chest while stroking my fingers with his.
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