Chapter 181

**Megan**

**A week later**

Logan kisses up my body as the aftershocks of my orgasm runs through me. His hands massage my breasts as his mouth closes over my nipple before moving up my neck. 

This is the first time we’ve had sex where he has blindfolded me, and he was even able to convince me to be restrained. He had come home with a present for me. Well, he said it was for me, but the lingerie in the box and the blindfold and handcuffs told me it was for him. When we started though I changed my mind and realised it was for us both because this was intense. 

I feel him nibble my ear as his body presses against mine. The desire to touch him is almost unbearable. The only reprieve is being able to push him with my legs to me. It was so difficult not to be able to run my hands through his hair as he went down on me. To give him all of the control is scary, but I’ve never felt such excitement. 

He pulls away from me, and I feel him undo my blindfold. Slowly my eyes adjust, and he comes into view. 

“Hey,” he says before kissing me on the lips. 

“Hey,” I softly say. He unbuckles the handcuffs from my bedposts and slowly brings my arms down to my body. He massages my arms before pulling me into another kiss. “Hmm if you continue we won’t get any sleep tonight,” 

“I kind of had plans for the rest of the night,” he says with a smirk. 

“Haha,” I mock and slowly sit up as he lays down next to me. 

“Are you ok?” 

“Yeah,”

“Are you sure? If you didn’t like it, you could have stopped it,” he says, referring to the safe word he gave me which was red.

“I did like it, I liked it more than I thought I would,” I explain and he frowns. 

“So what’s wrong?” he asks and moves my hair from my face. 

“Jonathon tied me up in the closet, and I hated it, as I told you earlier I thought that being restrained would trigger something bad, I didn’t think I’d like it as much as I did because of how much I hated what Jonathon did,”

“That’s because it’s different with me, you trust me enough to know that if you told me to stop, I would,”

“I know, it just confuses me, what he did to me,” I shiver as the memories flood into my mind. 

“I’m sorry,” he says and pulls me into a hug. “We don’t have to do it again,” 

“No, I want to do it again, I just need to figure out my feelings before we do, is that ok?” I ask.

“Of course it is, we do what you want to do,” he states and holds me in his arms. He pulls the sheet over us before settling down for the night. His fingers slowly draw circles over my arm as we lay in silence. 

Before we did this, I sat down with him to explain my thoughts and feelings towards BDSM. The whole time I was petrified because it meant he would have to be patient with me, and I wasn’t sure he was going to be happy to do that for me. 

When he brought the handcuffs, blindfold and the lingerie to me, I was intrigued. The handcuffs aren’t fluffy pink ones, they’re black with dark green trim and lined with faux fur for comfort. They weren’t uncomfortable either, softer to the touch but had an edge to them. The blindfold was dark green silk with a black lace overlay. They both matched the lingerie that he bought me. 

The lingerie is dark green lace and is open at the crotch. That alone took me a little while to put on; I stood in the mirror in the bathroom for about ten minutes trying to psych myself up to show him. That’s not including how long it took me to get it on. The suspender belt was what took me a minute to figure out as I wasn’t sure if it fastened at the front or back. 

Once I came out, and I saw his face, I have never felt so sexy. The first expression that went across his face was: surprise because he didn’t know I was putting it on. I told him we could try it one night, but I don’t think he thought I meant the night he bought it. After that, he looked like he wanted to devour me. 

“Megan,” he says, taking me out of my slumber limbo. 

“Hmm,” I say as I can feel sleep slowly creeping over me.

“I have something to tell you,” ‘

“Ok,” I mumble. He shakes me a little.

“I need you awake for this,” he says. 

“I’m awake,” I say slowly sitting up and moving the sheet over my chest. “What’s up?” I ask as I yawn. 

“We decided on Jonathon,” 

“What?” I ask now fully awake. 

“We decided to let him go,”

“What?” I almost shout as I feel fear take over me. “Why? Why would you do that?” I ask.

“Because he needs to get caught,” Logan says as he moves his hands to my arms. 

“I can’t believe you would do that,” I snap as I move out of his hands. I grab the closest thing to cover myself, and it’s his shirt. “Why? I know you’re not an idiot so please tell me the smart idea around this?” I ask incredulously as I button the shirt and move off of the bed. 

“Megan,” he says softly and climbs over to my side of the bed. “Hear me out,” I hold my head into my hands as I try to calm myself down. “We have to. It’s the only way to get him,”

“How? Couldn’t you have just put him on a deserted island or something, lord knows you have the money to do that,” 

“Please, just listen to me,” he begs as he moves his hands to my arms. I ignore the fact he’s completely naked in front of me and look him in the eyes. 

“Go on,” 

“We know he’s arrogant enough to come after you,” I take a deep breath at that and try to hold in my anger. “He won’t be able to, he won’t get past the security, and I wouldn’t let him. He’ll come here or at your school, get caught and then be arrested, so he’s back behind bars where he belongs. It’s the only way to get rid of him without killing him.”

“And what if he starts saying somebody kidnapped him?” 

“I don’t think he will, he’s too prideful, plus who would believe a crazy man?” he asks. 

“I can’t believe you’re going to let him go,” 

“He won’t get to touch you,” he says, looking at me. I shake my head and look down. “What else could we have done?” he asks. “Keeping him would mean you would have to live life pretending not to know where he is, to have a bodyguard constantly; this is the easier of the options given to us. He’ll make it easy; he’s a psychopath, he’ll make the mistake of coming after you and getting himself caught,”

“How are you so sure?” my voice sounds small.

“Because he’s obsessed with you,”

“You’re using me as bait,” I mutter. 

“No, ok yes, but,” I cut him off. 

“Ok, I get it,” I do. He’s right, he’s a narcissist and will do anything to cause me more pain. It’s obvious Jonathon’s still delusional as evident when he claimed I love him. Logan wraps his arms around me and pulls me into a hug. “I don’t think I can sleep right now,” I say. 

“I get it, we can go sit on the porch in the back garden for a bit like we did the other night,” he suggests. I nod as the memory of the other night comes into mind. It was nice to sit looking up at the stars with Max laid at our feet. We ended up just talking about the most random things until we both fell asleep. I’d found out he knows a lot about planets and that astronomy was a hobby of his when he was young. It was the only thing him and his father had in common. 

We make our way downstairs, with a blanket and a pillow. I’d put underwear on just in case anyone else woke up while we were down here. When we came out of my room, Max was waiting outside it like a lost puppy, and I felt so bad. Logan however just stuck his tongue out like the child he is.

Sitting down on the bench swing Logan sits behind me, so I’m sat between his legs. He throws the blanket over us both and Max lays on the decking below us, the blanket is big enough to go over him as well. After about ten minutes of comfortable silence, Logan speaks. 

“When I look at the stars it always reminds me just how insignificant we are,” 

“That’s a happy thought,” I say with my eyebrows raised.

“No I mean it as everything, there are so many things that are bigger than us and our problems. Stars, for instance, are beautiful to look at, but they’re a lie, they’re dead by the time we see them, that just shows how vast the universe we live in is. It makes me realise that what troubles us today will be gone tomorrow,” he explains. 

“Not tomorrow but in our futures,” 

“Exactly, what troubles you or me now won’t trouble us in ten years,” 

“That’s not what I think when I look at the stars,” I say and lookup. 

“What do you think?” 

“That even in death, we still make an impact, that to someone somewhere we still shine bright. They also make me wonder if we’re a star to other civilisation out there,”

“No, we’re not, our sun is but not us,”

“That’s what I meant, our solar system,” I say with a small smile. He always has to be correct, and I find it quite cute just because I know he’s not doing it to be patronising but to teach. I can understand why he became a teacher.

“What?” he asks.

“I just love how smart you are, it’s sexy as hell,” I say and kiss him. 

“Thanks,” he mumbles and kisses me back.