Chapter 140
**Megan**
Logan seems to know what I’m thinking and what I’m needing straight away. He wipes my cheeks and places a soft kiss on my lips. Pulling back he rests his forehead against mine and waits for me to gather my thoughts.
Telling him about my nightmare seems so redundant. They’re always the same and he knows it and there’s nothing we can do about them. The only time they lessen is when he’s in bed with me and last nights was about him, he was Benjamin. I know it’s stupid, I know he’d never hurt me like that, it’s just my mind is messed up.
I shake my head and look down.
“It was about me,” he states and he sounds so defeated as if it hurt him to say those words. I wipe my tears again and then take hold of his tie. “Megan, I’d never-” I don’t let him finish, I pull him to me and kiss him hard on the lips.
Last night all I wanted was to have him hold me the way that he does and tell me that everything was ok but that couldn’t happen not with Brett there. A big part of me didn’t care, I just wanted to feel better.
Logan kisses me back, his hands move through my hair as heat fills my body. I move my arms around his neck, holding him closer to me. He presses his body against mine causing me to gasp, he takes that as his opportunity and his tongue wrestles with mine. He tastes like coffee and caramel, the drink I had got him. His hands move down my back to my waist.
Moving onto his desk a little more, he stands between my legs and moves his hands up my bare thighs and back down again. I loosen his tie and unbutton his shirt as his hand moves to my panties. I moan at the feel of his fingers rubbing at my sex over my panties. He pulls back and kisses down my neck.
A moan escapes my lips and I feel down to his crotch. The bell rings indicating the start of homeroom making him stop.
“We can’t,” he pants against my ear and I can’t help but feel slightly disappointed. ”You have to go,” he states and then presses his lips to mine.
“Hmm, or I could just stay here,” I say against his lips and stroke the bulge in his trousers. “You don’t have to teach homeroom,” He smirks and kisses me again.
“You’re going to get me into trouble,”
“Never,” I reply and stand up to kiss his neck.
“No,” he says without much conviction and I can’t help but smile at that. “You need to go to class,” he says more firmly and steps back from me. “When did you unbuckle my belt?” he asks as he buckles his trousers up.
“Ok,” is all I say and reach up to redo his tie. His hands move to my hips and he presses us together. “We can always finish this later,” I say looking up at him.
“Preferably where I can lock a door,” he states.
“Maybe, it turns me on knowing anyone could walk in on us,” I confess and I feel myself blush but try my hardest not to let it affect me. The second bell goes indicating I am now late for homeroom.
“God, you’re killing me, Go,” he orders and I smile and walk away from him and out of the classroom.
\---
“Are you and Logan ok now?” my therapist asks. I have been in my session for half an hour, I’ve told her everything that had gone on in England, what had happened the day before we left with Benjamin.
“Yeah we talked and it was a communication issue, or lack thereof,” I state.
“What do you mean?”
“He thought it was better for me if we weren’t together because his uncle put all these ridiculous fears of what may happen with us if he stays with me,” I explain.
“What do you think?”
“I think his uncle needed to shut up and keep his opinion to himself,”
“I see,” she pauses and takes a sip of her water. “So you’re both good,”
“Better than good,” I pause and look down as I debate on telling her that our relationship has progressed.
“What is this smile?” she asks. I look up at her. I hadn’t even realised I was smiling.
“We had sex,” I blurt out and the look on her face looks like an honest shock. She collects herself and then tilts her head at me. “It was good, I mean I feel good about it,”
“Your relationship seemed to have moved pretty quickly in the two weeks you were away, you were on the verge of breaking up when you left, you did break up albeit only for a day or two, but still,” she remarks.
“Yes, I just feel that with everything that we’ve gone through we’ve grown stronger,” I say with a shrug.
She sighs and places the Ipad she’s holding and note pad onto the coffee table between us. She takes her glasses off and gives them a little clean with the hem of her blush pink blouse and then looks at me as she puts them on.
“I’m going, to be honest with you Megan,” and I feel like she’s warning me. “This relationship you have with Logan I’m not sure is a healthy one,” she bluntly states and I open my mouth to argue but I don’t know what to say to her. “Some things don’t sit right with me, I could be wrong, but from what you have told me, you and he are very reliant on each other. You more so, due to everything with your father, Logan was the one to get you out of the situation. He saved you and it’s only natural for you to idolise him in a way as your hero,”
“Are you saying we should break up?” I ask and I can feel myself want to cry.
“No, I just think you both need to slow down,” she states. “Logan from what you have told me has his own problems, and the first thing he did when you had an argument, was to cheat on you, the moment someone told him to break up with you, he did and when he did the first thing you thought to do was end your life. It is very difficult for me to sit here and say that this relationship is healthy,” she explains.
“The both of you are fragile and I think you should go slower, you both are very deeply emotionally invested into one another and I just question what will happen when something doesn’t go right again, that’s all,”
I look down at my hands in my lap and then back up at her.
“I was the one that wanted to take things further,” I say after a couple of minutes of taking in what she had said. She nods at me, “I wanted to,”
“I’m not saying that you didn’t,”
“We promised each other we’d start communicating with each other better, instead of jumping to conclusions and trying to predict what the other might say or do,” I explain quietly.
“That’s good,”
“Is it?” I ask and look back down. She’s telling me that’s good yet she just said our relationship isn’t healthy. How am I supposed to feel about this?
“What are you thinking about?” she asks.
“I’m confused,” I confess, “you say that’s good but you just said our relationship is unhealthy, what does that mean? Does it mean we’re not healthy for one another or I’m not healthy for him, or he’s not healthy for me? That means we should break up. An unhealthy relationship isn’t good,” I hear the panic and upset in my voice as I speak.
“Ok, breathe, I could be wrong, it's-” I cut her off.
“You wouldn’t have said it if you were,” I cry and reach for a tissue from the box on the coffee table.
“Ok, good point, Megan not all relationships are healthy at first, with you and Logan you both became very emotionally invested very quickly, and that's due to how you became together, all I’m telling you is that I think you should slow down a little bit,” she explains to me.
“All because we slept together,”
“No, sex is different for you than say, other people, the fear around sex for you is different-”
“I know and he knows,”
“The emotions around sex are different, and I get that he understands that, but I just want you to think about how fast this is all going,” she pauses and looks at the Ipad. “You said your uncle is in town?” she asks. I nod as I try to stop crying. “How long for?”
“I’m not sure,” I mutter.
“This might be a good thing, you can settle down a little, the emotions in this can calm down, it will help for you both to see each other more clearly,” she explains. “Ok let me explain this another way to you, I feel like you think everything I just said is bad'' she suggests. “Are you going to listen to me?” she asks.
I look over at her and nod.
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