Chapter 138: No More Secrets.
~Ava's POV~
After the guards took the ginger-haired maid away, I sat on the edge of my bed, staring at the wall.
Thoughts of Nohte City played in my mind. The old woman Callie mentioned lived in the lower quarter there, perhaps she could tell me what had happened to Maya, why I couldn't feel my wolf anymore.
I ran my fingers through my tangled silver hair. Without Raphael here, I felt vulnerable, yet also strangely free. Free to seek answers on my own terms.
A soft knock on the door interrupted my thoughts.
"Enter," I called, tightening my robe.
The door swung open to reveal Gwen, her long auburn hair plaited down her back. She carried a small basket of herbs and salves.
"I thought you might need these," she said, setting the basket on the bedside table. "Callie told me about the incident."
News traveled fast in the palace.
"Thank you," I said, though healing was the last thing on my mind.
Gwen studied my face. "You look troubled."
I hesitated. Gwen was one of the few people I trusted in this place, but even trust had its limits. Still, I needed allies.
"I need to visit Nohte City," I said carefully. "There's someone there who might have answers about what's wrong with me."
"Wrong with you?" Gwen frowned. "You mean about your wolf?"
I nodded, a lump forming in my throat. So she knew too. They all knew and acted like nothing was wrong to make me feel at ease.
Callie entered with a tray of food, setting it beside me before quietly saying, "I've arranged for a cloak as you requested, my lady. And some provisions."
Gwen's head snapped up. "What's this about a cloak and provisions?" Her eyes darted between Callie and me. "You're not planning to leave the palace, are you?"
Callie looked at me nervously.
"That will be all, Callie," I said gently. "Thank you."
When the door closed behind her, Gwen turned to me, her face tight with concern.
"You're planning to go to Nohte City alone?" she asked, her voice rising. "Without guards? After everything that's happened?"
I stood up, annoyance flaring within me. "I can take care of myself."
"Like you did in the palace? Like you trusted her?" Gwen shot back, pointing at the closed door Callie had passed through.
I felt my temper rising. Always the same people treating me like I was fragile and broken. I opened my mouth to snap at her for not listening to me, for not understanding what it felt like to be trapped in my own skin, separated from a part of my soul.
But then I saw the genuine fear in her eyes.
"Do you have any idea the risk I took to save you?" Gwen continued, her hands trembling slightly. "And now you want to walk straight into danger again?"
My anger evaporated, replaced by confusion. "What risk? What are you talking about?"
Gwen's cheeks flushed. She turned away, busying herself with arranging my pillows. "Nothing. It doesn't matter now."
The dismissal ignited my temper once more. "No, you don't get to say something like that and then brush it off." I grabbed her wrist, forcing her to look at me. "What risk did you take?"
Since returning from the hands of Alasia, I have felt numb and disconnected. My wolf was gone.
Raphael wasn't the man I thought I knew. Everything had changed, and I had responded by shutting down, by accepting what was given to me because Raphael had fought for me when no one else would.
But now, staring into Gwen's guilty face, I felt something break inside me. I needed answers.
Gwen sighed, sinking onto the bed beside me. "It's a long story."
"I have time," I replied, sitting beside her.
She took a deep breath. "When you were placed under the curse, I was desperate to help you. I thought you were under some simple curse." She laughed bitterly. "I was so naive."
I waited, sensing there was more.
"I summoned Mother Earth," she continued, her voice barely above a whisper.
My eyes widened.
"I begged her to save you. But instead of helping directly, she directed me to Drogon." Gwen's voice caught on his name. "She warned me not to go, but I wouldn't listen. I felt so guilty, thinking what happened to you might have been partly my fault."
"What did you do, Gwen?" I choked out, my stomach dropping at the implications.
She looked at me, tears brimming in her eyes. "I went to him. And when I got there, I discovered the truth. The being was a dragon... he was my mate. Had been my mate from the very beginning."
I felt the blood drain from my face. "What?"
"I was once known as Arabelle," she whispered. "Queen of the witches. A powerful one."
I stood up, pacing the room as my mind reeled. "Goddess... what twisted game is this?"
Gwen sighed heavily. "I don't know. I feel guilty and terrified of losing Anastasia. Yet I can't seem to leave him alone."
She wiped a tear from her cheek. "I went to retrieve his body that I had locked as Arabelle. That's when people started seeing him; before that, he was invisible."
She looked up at me, her eyes haunted. "The memories of Arabelle are coming back to me now, piece by piece."
Suddenly, she broke down, burying her face in her hands as sobs wracked her body.
I moved to her side, wrapping an arm around her shoulders. Understanding dawned on me. If I hadn't been captured, if I hadn't been so foolish, none of this would have happened. Gwen wouldn't have discovered this painful truth about herself.
"I'm sorry," I whispered, over and over. "I'm so sorry."
"No," she said, shaking her head firmly. "It's not your fault. I just want you to be safe." She took a shuddering breath. "Drogon is no longer speaking to me. I can't find him when I need him."
A blush crept up her neck. "The mini-heats I've been experiencing because of the mate bond... he used to help me with them. Now he won't touch me." Her voice broke.
"He's gone so far as to have Anastasia formulate a pill with his blood. Says it will help, but it's not enough. It just lulls me to sleep."
I frowned, confused by the unfamiliar term. "What's a mini-heat?"
Gwen's blush deepened. "When a dragon finds his mate, her body reacts. It's like what happens to wolf-shifters during their season, but more intense and more frequent. It's the body's way of strengthening the bond."
She looked down at her hands. "It's torture when your mate refuses you."
I thought of Raphael and Grey, and how they had appeared to satisfy a need I hadn't fully understood. Was that a similar phenomenon? Was my body crying out for what it needed even when my mind wasn't sure?
"I had no idea," I said softly.
"How could you?" Gwen managed a weak smile. "We're all stumbling through this darkness together."
I took her hand in mine. "Then let's stop stumbling alone. Come with me to Nohte City. The woman Callie mentioned might have answers."
Gwen wiped her tears and straightened her shoulders. "We'll need better preparation than just a cloak and some food. And we'll need to leave a message for Raphael and Drogon, or they'll tear apart the kingdom looking for us."
I nodded. For the first time since being rescued, I felt truly alive, not just existing in the shadow of what had happened to me.
"We leave at midnight," I said. "And Gwen?"
"Yes?"
"Thank you for telling me the truth. No more secrets between us."
She squeezed my hand. "No more secrets."
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