Chapter 87: The Beast within
Raphael’s POV
"Kill them, kill them all. If she dies, they all die. The gods die. The land dies. The people die."
The whispers of Grey filled my mind, relentless and overbearing. The beast, trapped inside me, clawed at my thoughts, urging me to destroy, to break, to kill.
Every breath, every sound felt like a trigger. I was at war with myself. The line between man and monster was thinning. Grey was becoming it's old self ever since Ava.
I could feel the rage sweeping through me, and it was getting harder to control. Every little thing, every action felt like a betrayal. Gemma and Caleb had come to discuss court matters, but the only thing I could hear was the steady drumbeat of Grey's demands.
"Your Majesty," Caleb’s voice was distant, almost muted. "The ministers are demanding a resolution on the executions. They believe…"
Fear.
The word vibrated in my mind like an song. “They fear you. They are conspiring. Kill them before they kill her.”
I could barely hear Caleb's voice anymore, only Grey's incessant command to destroy. I didn’t recognize Gemma standing there, not at first. My vision blurred with anger, and before I realized what I was doing, I was on her.
My hands locked around her throat, pulling her to the ground, squeezing until her gasps became frantic.
"Raphael!" Caleb's shout came too late. His hands were on me, trying to pry me off, but my strength was beyond reason.
I released her, just as quickly as I had attacked, and looked down at Gemma, her throat bruised, her chest heaving for air. She was trembling, staring at me with wide eyes. But it wasn’t fear in her gaze, it was pity.
I turned to Caleb, and before I could stop myself, my fist shot out, landing a brutal punch that sent him crashing against the table. His blood splattered across the stone, and the sound of shattering wood filled the silence.
A sickening realization hit me. I had just hurt them. My people. My family.
I backed away, shaking, breathing heavily. What had I done? My mind screamed in protest, but Grey’s voice was louder.
“Kill them. Kill them all. If she dies, they all die. The gods die. The land dies. The people die.”
“ Raphael, it's alright. See, I am not hurt,” Caleb called out. He knew I was losing it. The look of fear and panic in his eyes says it all.
“ No, don't come close to me.”
I stumbled out of the meeting room, the burden of my actions crushing me. The kingdom, my kingdom, was slipping away from me, and I could feel it.
I needed Ava. She was the only one who could calm the storm inside me. She was the only one who could save me from the beast. The only one, who can save the beast from itself.
I ran to my room, in hopes of getting some sleep before, I could meet Ava.
Yet, I couldn't focus. My thoughts were too scattered.
The pressure of my past, my failures, stood over me. As I lay in bed that night, I could feel the beast pushing against me again, trying to break free for more blood. Sleep finally claimed me, but it wasn't peaceful.
I stood in a place that felt familiar but distant, an endless range of stars, cycling around me like a cosmic sea. The moon hung low in the sky, a silvery glow shining the space. Then, she appeared.
The Moon Goddess, Selene, her presence ethereal and commanding, stood before me, her face solemn. But she wasn’t alone.
My mother. I can't remember the last time I saw her. It was a thousand years ago.
She stood beside Selene, her eyes filled with sadness, her hands resting at her sides, helpless. My breath caught in my throat. How could this be? How could my mother be here?
"Raphael," Selene's voice was calm, but her words carried the warnings of the heavens. "You cannot give in to the beast." I know that already. My eyes cross on their own.
I opened my mouth to speak, but the words failed me. I could feel the beast inside, clawing at my chest, urging me to act. ‘Now you want me to attack the goddess, Grey?’
‘ Blue ball deserves that if she won't mind her business.’ gods. How did end up with such a beast?
"Do you remember what you once did?" Selene continued, her gaze steady on me and unwavering. "Do you remember the kingdom you erased? The lives you destroyed when you gave in to him?"
My heart stuttered. No, not that. Not again. I had been lost once. I had been the monster. I had destroyed everything in my path.
"You must not forget, Raphael," my mother’s voice whispered softly, "the beast is not just any creature. He is ancient, a force that destroys everything in his paths. If you allow him to take over again, the world will never be the same. He will erase it all."
A flash of images rushed through my mind, horrible scenes of fire and death, of kingdoms falling to ashes. Once again, the things I had done, the pain I had caused... How could I have been so blind?
"Do not forget, Raphael," Selene's voice was firm now, her eyes filled with sorrow. "You are not the only one who suffers. The people, the gods, even you... you will all be lost to him. So you must never give in to him."
My knees buckled. The image of Ava, lying lifeless in my mind, her eyes staring up at me in pain, flashed before me. I will not let that happen again. I will not fail her.
"Do not become the monster you once were," Selene urged, her voice a final plea. "You have a choice."
“ I never had one!” I screamed. “ If I did, why did you give him to me? Why would you give me an ancient beast”? I needed answers.
“ Some things, are better left unknown.” Selene said quietly.
“ What about our mate? Grey won't act out, if Ava wasn't dying. How about you save her?” I pleaded desperately.
“ Some things are better left the way they are. I do this for your good.” With that she was gone.
I woke up with a start, drenched in sweat. My chest stuffed as I gasped for air, the warnings of the dream still vibrating in my mind.
Grey’s voice screamed in the back of my head, but Selene’s warning was louder. I couldn’t lose control. Not again. I couldn’t let the beast win.
But there was only one thing I could think of now. Only one person, that can make me win. Ava, she is the only one that can keep me sane.
I jumped out of bed in search of her. I had to make sure she was safe. She was the only one who could calm the storm inside me. She was the one that kept me from slipping back into madness.
I rushed through the halls, my mind a case of fear and desperation. And when I finally reached her chambers, my heart nearly stopped.
I see someone standing by her side. Finally my mind registers it's Allora, the Netherlands princess. She stood by Ava’s side, her eyes dark with determination. Funny, how she was pretending to be a priest among the Holies. From my investigations on her, she wasn't so favorable in the Netherlands kingdom as the Holies said she was. A moment passed, and then, she lifted a pillow. My blood turned to ice.
Before I could think, I was at her side, flinging her away from Ava with a force that sent her crashing into the pillar. The cap on her head fell, revealing long, dark hair cascading down her back.
I stood over her, my rage a storm ready to be released inside me. "So," I snarled, my voice low and venomous, "you are a woman."
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