Chapter 192: Why can't I control it?
~Raphael's POV~
Drogon's scream rang out. His body hit the ground hard, he twisted in pain. His wings folded wrong. His breathing came in short gasps.
The others stood still. Nobody moved. Nobody spoke. They watched as he suffer and didn't know what to do.
Was this his punishment? Was Haggar being cruel? I couldn't tell.
What is she doing to him? I thought, my heart is racing. Is this what we get for trusting her?
But my mind wasn't thinking clearly. I saw red. Seeing Drogon hurt and groaning in pain broke whatever calmness I was holding onto. Nothing else mattered.
She's killing him, my mind screamed. She's hurting Drogon and if she continues, he will die.
"NO!" I roared.
Fire exploded from my hands. Not the controlled flames I have learned how to make. This was pure rage. Pure power. It shot straight at Haggar.
Everywhere caught fire instantly.
The wooden hut burst into flames. The fruit trees became torches. The flowers turned to ash in seconds. The beautiful green grass became black earth. Everything she had grown died.
The others ran. Caleb tried to shout something but the fire was too loud. The roar of flames filled everywhere.
This is insane, I could see the fear in their eyes as they scattered. I've lost it completely.
The whole garden, I watched Isla's face as she saw the flowers die. Everything.
Gemma grabbed Isla's hand and pulled her away from a burning tree. Caleb rolled behind a rock. They scattered in all directions, trying to escape the wall of fire I had created.
How do I stop this? How do I control what I've already unleashed?
But Haggar didn't run.
She stood perfectly still. Her face showed nothing. No fear. No anger. No surprise. The fire wrapped around her body. She just watched it come.
Why isn't she fighting back? Why isn't she running?
Drogon lifted his head. His eyes were filled with pain but he saw what was happening. His friends were in danger. Haggar was about to die. I had lost control.
No, I could see the struggle in his eyes. Not again. He won't let me destroy everything again.
With the last of his strength, he reached out with his mind.
The world twisted.
One moment we were in the burning garden. The next moment we were somewhere else entirely.
Rocky ground stretched out in all directions. No trees. No grass. Just stone and dirt under an empty sky. The air still smelled of smoke. Our clothes still had ash on them.
We were all there. Caleb, Gemma, Isla, Drogon, and Haggar. All alive. All breathing.
I looked around. I saw their faces. I saw that nobody was hurt.
They're alive. The relief hit me first. Thank gods, they're all alive.
But then I looked back at where the garden used to be.
Even from this distance, I could see the smoke rising. Black clouds against the blue sky. Everything was gone. The beautiful paradise looked like hell now.
What have I done? What have I done? My knees hit the ground. Regretting weakening me.
My fists clenched so tight my knuckles went white. My whole body started shaking.
I'm a monster, I thought. I'm exactly what they all said I was. A beast. A monster. Drogon was right, I must always control my powers.
"I killed them," I whispered.
My voice broke. The words came out rough and painful because they were.
"I killed everything."
The roses, we had saw earlier. The birds, the trees, everything. I killed them
I looked at my hands. These hands that were supposed to protect people. These hands that had just destroyed another home again.
These cursed hands. This cursed power. Why was I born with this?
"I am meant to protect." My voice got louder. More desperate. "Why can't I protect anything?"
Every time. Every single time I try to help, I make it worse. Everyone I care about gets hurt because of me.
The sobs came suddenly. Violent and raw. My fists slammed into the rocky ground again and again. Each hit made my knuckles bleed but I didn't stop.
"Why can't I do anything right?"
I'm supposed to be a King. Their protector. But all I do is hurt people. Moon goddess, what have I done to deserve this? How am I to face Ava like I am?
My shoulders shook. Tears fell onto the stone beneath me. This was me, Raphael, the cursed King. Raphael the protector. Raphael who never showed weakness.
And yet, here I was falling apart.
The others had never seen me cry before. They had seen me angry. They had seen me fight. They had seen me lead them into battle.
But they had never seen me break.
I could feel their shock. Their confusion. Caleb took a step forward, then stopped. He didn't know what to say. What could anyone say?
Gemma stared at me. The person who had always been strong for them. The person who carried everyone else's problems on my shoulders. Now those shoulders were shaking with grief.
Isla covered her mouth with her hand. They all felt helpless.
Even Haggar said nothing. She stood perfectly still, watching one of the kings she hate cry into his bloodied hands. She must be happy.
"All those plants," I said between sobs. "All those flowers. They were alive. They were growing. And I burned them all."
I knew it wasn't actually the plants. No, it was because the flames reminded of what I did to Mesodomica.
They were innocent. They didn't deserve to die because of my incompetence.
I thought about how they trusted me and even welcomed me into their lands, only for me to turn against them and burn them.
"I'm supposed to be their protector," I said. "But all I do is destroy things."
Everything I touch dies. Everyone who gets close to me gets hurt. I don't want that fate for Ava. I am scared of losing her.
The crying got worse. My whole body shook with it. Years of holding everything inside came pouring out at once.
" Why can't I control it. Why can't I control any of it."
Drogon tried to move toward me but he falls. He just gazed at me mournfully.
Even he can't help me now. Nobody can.
The silence stretched on. Only my broken sobs filled the air.
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