Chapter 205: I will be the monster.
~Raphael's POV~
I wanted her to see the love I feel for her, how much length I would go to protect her. But amidst our stares, she said nothing. Just looking at her made my longing for her increase beyond the rage I felt.
"Ava, please," I said, my voice softer now, trying to reach the little one I had fallen in love with four years ago. "I know I failed you before. I know leaving was wrong. But I'm here now. Let me help you."
Her eyes flashed red with pain, perhaps hope, but still she remained silent. The court around us was completely still, everyone paying attention and waiting to see what she would do next.
"I understand your anger," I continued, taking another step closer until I was mere feet from her. "But this path you're on, this violence, it will consume you. Let me fix what I broke. Let me be the one to bear this burden. Let me be the monster."
"You don't understand," she finally spoke, her voice barely above a whisper, but in the silence of the throne room, everyone heard her.
"They hurt my people while you were gone. They hurt me. I can't just stand by anymore. They kept coming even when I tried to ignore. I just can't continue to standby waiting to be saved."
The pain in her voice broke me. How exactly have I ever kept my promise of protecting her? Nothing. I never kept it. My hands clenched into fists at my sides as I imagined what she must have endured in my absence. "What did they do to you?" I asked. What did they do to my sweet mate?
She looked away, and I saw her jaw tighten. "It doesn't matter now. What matters is that they will pay for what they've done."
"It matters to me," I said fiercely. "Everything about you matters to me."
Her eyes snapped back to mine, and for a moment, I saw a crack in her armor. But then she straightened, and the mask was back in place.
"Then we'll face it together," I said, my voice stronger now. "But not like this. Not with more bloodshed. There has to be another way."
She shook her head, stepping back from me. "It's too late for that, Raphael. Too much has happened. Too much blood has been spilled."
"It's never too late," I said desperately, reaching out toward her. "Not for us. Not for our people. We can find another way."
But I could see in her eyes that she had made her decision. The woman I loved was slipping away from me, choosing vengeance over healing, choosing the darkness over the light she had once preached about.
"I won't let you destroy yourself for revenge," I said, my voice echoing through the throne room. "I won't let you become the very thing you once fought against."
"You don't get to decide what I become," she replied, her voice cold now. "You lost that right."
The words hit home. I felt the stares of everyone in the room, but none of that mattered. Only Ava mattered, and she was pulling away from me with every word.
"I'll leave and reclaim Lystra," I said finally, the words tasting bitter in my mouth. "If I can't protect you when I'm near, then I can at least do it from afar. I'll find out all those who made you this way and make sure and then I will end them."
One of us, had to be the monster. And I will be the one than Ava. Just like with Landon. I will take all the revenge for just report back.
" I will end this war, Ava and any that will ever come. I will be your sword. I hope you can use me."
Ava just stood there, clenching her hands. I decide not to look into her mind and just look at her. Watch her and see her expression. Finally she turns away and start walking back to her seat.
I turned to leave, my heart breaking with every step. The crowd parted, nobles and council members stepping aside as I made my way out.
At first, I thought I felt her reach out, felt her hand raised to stop me, but she didn't. She let me go.
As I reached the doors, I turned back one last time. Ava was still standing there, her hand half-raised as if she had been about to call out to me.
Our eyes met across the room, and in that moment, I saw everything we had lost and everything we might never have again.
"I love you," I mouthed, knowing she would understand even if she couldn't hear me over the distance between us.
Her hand dropped to her side, and she turned away.
\~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I must return to Lystra. Lystra was my kingdom, and Ava was my mate. These two I must take back. And I must be fast about it, I thought to myself as I packed my belongings in the small chamber I had been given during my stay here.
The room felt suffocating now, I had dreamt and hoped for a lot of things. Hoped to hold her but first, I must return and take my kingdom back.
Maybe after that, she would see I am serious and would never do anything to hurt her. After she is calm, we both could plan on how to deal with Alasia. One thing I am sure of, that lady will not give up.
Crazy how I still can't believe we spent three and half years inside that cursed land. Anytime, Haggar asked all four of us and we try describing what it was like and how it looks like. She shakes her head and tell us, she has never heard of such a place.
I even tried explaining to her that I read about a place like that long ago. She still keep her stance. There's no place like that.
I folded my few belongings carefully, I tried reaching out to Caleb but got no response on his end. I tried Gemma, the same thing.
I thought about leaving them here but I wasn't so sure if the people of Mesodomica will accept them. Let's not forget all that they have been making me go through but I have kept silence about.
No. I will not leave them here. Plus, there's Isla. I know the idiot dragon won't come with me. I wouldn't either if I were him. So I will just go and get just three of them as Haggar won't come along too.
I stopped for awhile, flexed my arms and check my inner energy, they were indeed healed as Haggar said. Well then, I will fix everything and this time around, I will crush without mercy anyone who whom stand in my way. Of course, I will use peace first. Peace and not bloodshed perfect plan.
I was done packing my clothes in the small space Haggar gave me when I heard a soft knock at the door. My heart stopped. Could it be...?
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