Chapter A Hundred and Five
Cyrus
It's been a few weeks since I came back home from my day of kidnapping. After they asked me if they had hurt me and I told them nothing bad had happened the whole time. Being a lil bitch and explaining how Alex was such a wonderful guy and he was just trying to help me. My dad fisted his fist and my mother almost rolled her eyes at me but caught herself at the last second, it nearly made me smile too.
So no one wants to talk about the fact that I got kidnapped or what Cyrus has been doing to me. Mrs Cedric is still playing her mother-figure role to perfection and everyone is acting like this is the new normal. They act like I never got married and left home, act like they don't realise I never came back with my wedding band, act like I don't go to the Don's house anymore and act like I am still that naive little girl at home with her parents. It's all fun seeing them ignore it and wonder how long they will keep the charade on, so I don't say anything either.
“What the fuck?“ I shout when I hear my bedroom door opening up with a squeak.
Cullen pops his head in and smiles at me warmly. I don't want to but this reminds me of not long ago when I would be at home and he would sneak into my room even though he could use the front door and no one would stop him. He used to joke it was good practice for getting into girl's bedrooms to get laid. I can't believe this all happened in a year and we were fighting and no longer talking to each other. It all just makes me so sad all of a sudden, I always thought I would always have him in my corner for life.
I realise I must have zoned out when the b d dips and Cullen sits looking at me sheepishly. He is not the little young man anymore, he has grown both physically and by his looks too, he is growing a beard. This Cullen is both new and normal to me, I don't know how to explain it but then I remember I am not the same Bella anymore. We both grew up and apart.
“ What happened to us, Bella?“ He suddenly asks after a while, like he knows what I was thinking.
“You thought you loved me for starters,” I say jokingly and bump him.
“I do. I really do but that doesn't matter anymore. You are married and I already have a fiancee. Life is moving on, so I guess I am just going to have to get over it.“
“you really messed up my friend. I never thought you would ever hurt me, I thought you were my best friend.“
“I know and I will never forgive myself for breaking our friendship. Once again I am so sorry and I hope one day you can learn to forgive me and we can be friends again.“
“I know I am going to forgive you, I already do I think but I am not ready yet to be your friend. I forgive you but can't let you in my life right now.“
“I understand what you mean perfectly. I actually came here to see you about Cyrus.“ I immediately straighten up and look at him.
“What about him?“
“I don't know what's going on between you guys after everything but you need to give him a chance?“
“What are you talking about? A chance for what?“
“He is a mess, Bella. I don't know if you know this but he has been such a fuckup Dad sent him Italy back home to my uncle to keep him straight. He was drinking, getting into fights, messing up merchandise asking to see you but they wouldn't let him. He loves you, Bella.“ He says it almost like it is hurting him to,
“What?“
“I don't think even he realised it himself until you were kidnapped. He started going mad from there on and as I watched him get lower and lower I realised he loves you more than I ever did, he was just too stubborn and hard-headed and it cost him. A lot. I am not saying what he did to you was fair. I nearly punched him when I found out but the parents had already gotten to him by then, but. I believe he did it because being made you hate him and that separated you from him, he didn't want to admit to himself that he was in love with you. It's crazy I know, from the beginning sleeping with you, the jealousy, the games, and the pain is all because he loved you, Bella.“
“And he knew that I loved him but he chose to hurt me instead, why couldn't he just love me back?“
“ Like I said, he was trying to get you to hate him.“
“But I don't hate him, I never did. I want to hate him so much but for some reason, I just can't. What's wrong with me Cullen? Am I that stupid?“ I don't realise I am crying until Cyrus wipes the tears from my eyes and pulls me against him and I sob in his chest.
I don't know how long we sit there until eventually get sleepy and he tucks me in like old times, I smile and I drift to sleep hoping we can go back in time. I think I hear Cullen mumble, “Goodbye Bella.“ Before he kisses my forehead and I am taken by sleep.
I think I had the most normal, chill sleep in the morning and I feel lighter even though I know my life and my problems are all but the same today as they were yesterday. I look over the bedside table for the time and find my old phone there. Thats weird. Ever since I was kidnapped I lost track of the phone and never bothered to ask for it. My mom bought me a new one a while after I got home but I never got to turn it on either. I think Cullen brought it yesterday night. It's on with a lot of calls and texts from Cyrus, and they are recent. The last message was from last night at Three o'clock. I immediately click it and find an apology text from Cyrus.
I have hurt you deeply and treated you badly for which I feel extremely guilty. Since the time you entered my life, everything has been so rosy and beautiful. Please accept my apology and let me back in your life again. Let us be a family again.
I promise I regret everything I did and if I could, I would go back in time and act better. It's better for you.
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