Chapter Ninety five
We get our seats and order our drinks, setting our bags aside in a table and talk for a while before I realize why we are here.
“I am sorry to do this but I really needed to talk to you in private and I didn’t want us to be interrupted or overheard.”
“What is it, is everything okay? Is there something wrong?” I ask as a million scenarios starting going through my head, please don’t tell me its bad news.
“Everything is okay sweetie calm down. Today is about you, this is about you.”
“Me? I don’t understand.”
“Are you sure you don’t understand or are you pretending to? I love my son but I also know who he is, I would have wanted you to have married Cullen and none if I could help it but it was taken out of my hands. Cullen has his shortcomings but I was a hundred percent sure you would always be his number one priority,, he will always put you first even if it killed him but Cyrus on the other hand…..He is much like his father and even more like his grandfather, he doesn’t know when to quit and does not see a limit. Tell me the truth, has he been abusive?” She asks as she studies me, the tone and the air already serious. I can’t speak but I eventually shake my head no and avoid her eyes as a single tear falls.
“Has he been physically hurting you?” She asks and there is a hint of fear in her question, she knows all is not right between us and although she is scared she wants to know. I think she feels responsible for what is happening to me right now.
“No. it’s nothing we are fine.” I say as I wipe the tear from my eye
“Is it mental abuse, sexual? Does he degrade and threaten you when no one’s else is around?” I still shake my head know and fight the tear that wants to spill over
“I know he is hurting you Bella; I just need you to be strong and tell me the extent it’s gotten to before it gets worse. Please? This isn’t just about you, it’s about him too, if you let this go on longer than it has to he might lose sight of what’s wrong and right and he will feel entitled to what he does to you and we will never get him back. His actions have to be checked; don’t let him do this to you. I can and I will help you, you know I will, trust me. I can’t help you if you don’t talk to me.”
“We are not great now but it’s just a little misunderstanding, you shouldn’t worry yourself about it.|
“I know you don’t share the same bedroom, it was so easy to tell be getting into those rooms, I did the décor to only piss him off. Margret has also been concerned about you but she tried lying to herself that you were pregnant. Please talk to me, I beg you. Ever since your mom let me take care of you and Cullen you have always been my princess and my little girl you know that.” I know and that is why I don’t want to break her heart and lie
“It’s weird talking about this but he has just been sexually weird, a bit rough in the bedroom I guess. I think my body is still trying to adjust to these new feelings.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes. It’s not as worse as you think.”
“Has he been forcing himself on you?” She asks slowly like a whisper
“No. it’s just as I said he is a bit mean and rough but that’s all.”
“And have you talked to him about this? Tried telling him what you were not comfortable with?” She asks slowly and I was already embarrassed but I go beet red as I try looking at anywhere except her. Is this normal talk to be having with your mother in law? Although I don’t think that’s who she thinks she is right now.
“Well…um…. We don’t talk about those things.”
“You should talk to him, he probably doesn’t know or he might be taking advantage of your timid behavior to release his anger and frustration on you during sex.”
“I don’t think I can do it it…I just … this is so awkward.”
“You should take control of your sexual life. Turn things around, seize the room, it might just surprise you how easy it would be to have your life back after you get control in the bedroom.” she says with a wink and adds trust me.
Thankfully she cuts the interrogation and starts asking pleasant things. She talks about her wedding anniversary which happens near the end of the year and is always a big event that invites the outside world and even makes it in the papers. A social function of ours, she asks for my opinion and we discuss it a lot until she finally drops me home and leaves.
When I get inside I am all alone as usual so I go ahead and preheat the food left by Margret yesterday and have it in the kitchen, then I go up to my room, have a shower and hop into bed. My phone rings and I take it from my bag noticing its Cyrus’s mother calling.
“Hey sweetie.”
“Hello mom, did you get home okay?”
“Yes my dear and I sent you something to read over on your phone when you get the time.”
“Okay. I will look at it, is it a book?”
“Well…something like that. You just read it over and think about what I said.”
“Yes mom, I will.” I answer while I ask myself what she could have sent me.
“I should let you go, is Cyrus there? Forget about it. Goodnight baby.”
“Goodnight mom.”
I open the book my mother in law sent and find quite a few about feminism, taking control and understanding one’s body. There are also others with pictures and everything and I get so embarrassed that she sent me this. O.m.g. I immediately shut off my phone and let the embarrassing moment pass. I try going to sleep unsuccessfully before I decide to maybe read a little of what’s in the books, it’s not like I have never watched porn before although it was out of curiosity than anything. This is more awkward because my mother in law sent it to me, but what do I have to lose? I know she is only trying to help and its better she sent this than if she had instructed me about it.
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