To See You

SARAH

For whatever reason, I really feel like I want to try this thing.

He's probably right. My father will never look for another husband for me, not after what Cullen did. And he said he thought the Cincinnatis were the perfect people to marry me into. If that didn’t work, he’s going to keep me in here forever.

And is that really what I want? Do I even want to get married again after everything?

Because staying here, that will be me dying alone. I’ll have my father, but one day, he will be gone. I won’t be able to give him grandkids. I won’t be able to have kids of my own. Is that really the life I want? To never experience love?

But do I want to go back to Cullen? Is that really what I want? After all we had to go through? After all he did?

But then again, will my father ever let me, if I decide to give Cullen a chance?

"I don’t know," I say, shaking my head.

"Please...do you want me to go on my knees again? I don’t care," he says, as he falls to his knees.

He starts working toward me on his knees when his phone rings. He takes the phone out of his pocket, glances at the screen, and mutters,

“Fuck.”

Then, looking at me with frustration, he says, “Okay. I don’t have any more time. I should have been out by now.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Like I said, it wasn’t easy for me to get in here and come to see you. I had to bribe and then jump through hoops and hops.” He says, tense.

“Anyway, I don’t have much more time to stay here. I have to go now before my cover is blown, and who knows what your dad is going to do when he finds me here. I don’t want to die until I get to at least give you a kiss. Then I can die with a smile on my face.”

I don’t know whether I should be angry, mad, or... somehow happy about his statements. So instead, I just narrow my eyes at him.

But Cullen doesn’t stop. He keeps moving toward me, still on his knees, until he’s close—too close. He places his hands gently on my thighs, on my knees, and it startles me how natural it feels. As if he’s done this every day. As if it belongs there. It’s so normal. So tender. So natural… You wouldn’t even be able to question it.

“I need to ask you for a favour,” he says.

And that nearly makes me laugh.

“So not only did you come to apologise, you also need a favour?” I scoff. “What is it? What is it you want me to tell my dad? What is it? What was the aim of this whole charade?”

He looks taken aback, but he doesn’t let it show.

“I want to see you,” he says. “I want the two of us to just sit down and talk. Let’s forget about our fathers. Let’s forget about our families. Just me and you. Please meet me tomorrow.”

I roll my eyes dramatically.

“It’s not safe for me to be here. Not right now. It’s not safe for me to come here, but I had to. So please, just promise me you’ll see me tomorrow.”

I shake my head. “I can’t,” I say.

“But you can,” he pleads. “Come on, please. I’m asking you. When you get there, you’ve got to listen to me. And if you’re done—if what I say doesn’t make sense, and you want to be done with this marriage, then fine,” he says. “It’s fine. If you don’t want to do it, I’ll stop. I’ll hurt, and I’ll probably never…”

He pauses.

“Fuck that, you know what? I won’t ever stop. But please, just come and listen, okay? Because I want you. You’re my wife. I want you back. And I will do anything to get you back,” he says.

“Look,” I say, “Cullen. Ever since I came out of the hospital, I haven’t gone anywhere. I haven’t gone out of this house. I can’t just wake up and say I’m leaving. Where will I even say I’m going?”

“Come on, please. Don’t you have a friend? Someone you can just say you’re going to see? Maybe a relative?” He leans in.

“I’ll have bodyguards...."

"And I’ll help you escape them,” he adds.

“Okay. Where do you want to meet?”

“Anywhere, really. Just tell me where. Even if it’s in Sullivan territory, I will come. It’s just harder for me because you’re here at home where the Don lives. So if you can go anywhere, even to the hairdresser—wherever you can go, then we can ditch your bodyguards, and just the two of us get to talk, okay? Please.”

His phone rings again, and he curses under his breath. I don’t know what that’s about, but I nod because I can see the urgency.

“ If we are going to annul our marriage, let it be on our own terms, Sarah. Yes? You’ll be there?” he asks, eyes searching mine.

I nod again. He kisses the back of my hand, then must realise what he’s done, because he quickly says,

“Sorry, I’m just… too excited. I’ll see you tomorrow. I’m just too excited.... Do you still have your phone?”

“My dad bought me a new phone,” I say.

“Yes, of course,” he says. “So here’s my number.”

He takes a pen and paper from my desk and writes his phone number, even though I have it memorised.

“When you’re leaving, you can call. Or text. Or whatever...just to let me know...”

“Okay,” I say.

He then finally stands up.

“You’re gonna call me, right? I’m gonna be waiting for your call. I’m gonna be ready...”

I nod again. “Yes.”

“Okay. Alright. I want to stay longer but I have to go.”

“How did you get in?” I ask.

“Through the window,” he says with a smile.

And then he gives me a wink.

A wink. Oh, it’s so sexy. God damn it. I shouldn’t be thinking of him in a good light. I should remember the things he made me go through. I shouldn’t be entertaining this idea.

He goes toward the window and opens it.
Betrayed by Desire
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