Horribly Wrong
SARAH
My father raised his hand and blocked his advance towards me, pushing him back.
“Please don’t make this worse,” I said, tears falling. “Please… just leave. Go!”
I shouted the last words.
Cullen looked at my father, and I don’t know what passed between the two of them. But then he looked down at his wedding band. He twisted it on his finger as he said,
“I’m going out of the room… but I’m not leaving. I am not leaving you, you're my wife Sarah. I....”
He stopped himself, took a step back, went to the door, and then left the room.
And I just found myself crying. Harder. And harder. Because where was this man who fought for me?
Who acknowledged me as his wife?
Who acted as if he cared?
Where was that man… when I had needed him?
Dad came towards me. He put his hand on me and started gently swinging me, trying to get me to calm down. He kept whispering, reassuring me, saying,
“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry. ...Please don’t cry, it breaks my heart..... I’m so sorry… please don’t cry.”
He kept apologising and apologising and apologising until I had finally calmed down.
“Are you okay? Do you want anything?” he asked.
“Maybe some water? I feel like my throat is dry.”
“Of course, of course,” he said.
He quickly poured me a glass of water and gave it to me. I drank it and then forced a smile.
“I’m so sorry,” I said. “I didn’t know I was going to break down like that.”
“Don’t apologise. Never apologise. You deserve to feel what you want to feel. You no longer have to act strong with me. You no longer have to pretend with me. I am here. And I don’t want that fake version of you.... the one trying to prove something to me or anyone else in this world.
"Be yourself. If it hurts, then let it hurt. I’ll be here. I’ll be here to hold you in my arms and make you feel better about all of it… about everything. That should’ve been my number one job, and I’m sorry if I failed you, baby. I’m so sorry I failed you.”
“Don’t say that,” I said tearfully. “It just… it hurts to hear you say that.”
“But I did fail,” he replied. “And right now, you really need to tell me.... who do I have to shoot to protect you?”
I gave a dry laugh. “You don’t have to shoot anybody.... It was my fault.”
“What do you mean it was your fault?”
“ I… I made a mistake.”
“You made a mistake? What did you do?”
“I… I...” I paused. I didn’t know how to do this. I took a deep breath.
, “I’ve sinned,” I said.
“I have broken so many rules. I have killed. I have lied...."
I laughed—not a happy laugh, "I know Dad. I know you have,” I said. “But the thing is… I did something horrible. Something disgusting. Something I don’t think my father should ever have to hear from his daughter.”
“You said yourself that Cullen didn’t care about a thing,” he said. “So what if you cheated on him? If you slept with somebody else? I don’t care.”
He said it. And that made me sad.
“No, I didn’t reach that far,” I said.
“I don’t care,” he repeated, firmer this time. “Just tell me who did this to you. There’s nothing you could’ve done that would make someone try to drown you... try to take you away from me.”
I shook my head as I opened my mouth to tell him about that night.
“The night I nearly drowned… it was my in-laws’ anniversary party.”
“I know, baby. I was there,” he said.
“I know, too,” I whispered. “Because… I know you were there.”
My father nods. “I was invited. You and Cullen hadn’t arrived yet. I waited for the two of you because I wanted to get a glimpse of you. But when Cullen arrived, he said you weren’t feeling well. That’s why I really feel like he had something to do with it. He probably pushed you before he came to the party.”
I shake my head. “That’s not what happened.”
“Okay then,” he says, “ If he didn't do it, what happened?”
“I was drunk that night,” I begin. “And yes, I was with Cullen. We came together to the party, but I was so drunk, he felt like I was going to embarrass him. He ordered the driver to take me back.”
My father grumbled, but I continued.
“The driver left me at home. But I still wanted to go to that party. I was drunk, and I really wanted to see you. So I changed, got an Uber, and came back to the party.”
My father nods.
“When I got there, I met Bella.”
“Bella?” my father asked.
“Yes, that’s Cyrus’s wife.”
“Oh yes—Bella. The Italian princess.”
“Yes,” I say. “So she kind of stopped me, and I just told her that I wanted to see you.”
He nods again, grinding his teeth. “I’m so sorry I left early without seeing you, baby.... Maybe I could have stopped all of this.”
“It’s okay,” I say softly. “I understand now that you knew I wasn’t coming, so you decided to leave early. It’s okay.”
But I pause, my voice breaking. “But I was really hurt, to tell you the truth. I was a mess.... Because somewhere at the back of my mind, I thought you would see how miserable I was. I thought I would tell you how I wasn’t really coping there. And maybe… You would’ve felt sorry for me and taken me home with you that night,” I say, tears falling.
“I’m so sorry, baby,” my father says.
I shake my head. “ Anyway, Bella told her husband to take me home.”
I take a deep breath.
“So he took me home. He helped me. I was a mess. I was vomiting and everything..... He helped me eat. He prepared a bath for me....”
“Oh. What happened? What did he do?” my father asked. It was almost like he felt something had gone horribly wrong that night.