Take It Slow
SARAH
I called. He didn’t pick up.
And I was just about to pout and start wondering why he wasn’t answering, maybe even throw a little fit in my head, when he called back.
“Hello?” I picked up quickly.
“Hello, wifey,” he answered, and that word, wifey, it went straight inside me. Straight to a place it shouldn’t go.
But I basked in it anyway.
“Hi,” I croaked, and instantly hated how excited I sounded. I tried to reel myself back in.
“What’s up?” I asked, voice forced into some version of calm
I swallowed and straightened up, even though I knew he couldn’t see me. I wanted to act like the girl who had it together. The sure one. Confident. Knowing. Not the one melting over a stupid pet name.
" All cool here. You miss me already?"
“I found the solution to our problem,” I said, lifting my chin even though I was still clutching the phone too tightly.
“You did?” he asked, sounding sceptical.
“Yes,” I answered, cheerfully.
“You told your dad you want to be with?” he asked “Is that it? You want to tell him you're coming back home….?"
I laughed.
“No. Why would you think that?” I said, still grinning. “No, of course not. My father would have a heart attack if I told him I wanted to go back there. I mean, after everything.”
“Yeah, yeah, of course,” he said. But there was something in his voice, something softer, disappointed maybe, something that I didn’t quite understand.
“So what solution are we talking about?” he asked after a beat, his voice shifting with curiosity. Still a little sceptical, but open now.
“A way for us to meet,” I said, “without putting your life in danger.”
“You did?” he repeated again, cautious but interested.
“Yes, I did,” I confirmed.
I was smiling now. This wasn’t just about Cullen sneaking into restrooms or dodging guards. This was real.
“In two weeks,” I said, “I’ll be enrolled in university...."
“That’s amazing. Congratulations,” he said, interrupting me before I could even finish. “That’s very, very good. I’m super happy for you. Congratulations.”
“Thank you,” I said, smiling into the phone.
When he came on again, his voice had shifted slightly. “You’re going to be here, right? Like… your dad’s not thinking of taking you somewhere far away because of what happened?”
“No,” I said, laughing. “My father doesn’t want to take his eyes off me. He won’t let me go anywhere. I’ll be studying here. So I’ll still be here....with you.”
“That’s a relief,” he said, exhaling. “For a second there, I thought your dad wanted to take you far away from me.”
I laughed again. “No, that’s not the case. I’ll be studying here.”
“Okay, that’s good. Congratulations, again.”
“Thanks,” I said, warmth in my voice. “So… when I told you that I had a solution? This is the solution.”
“What do you mean?” he asked, clearly he didn't get it.
“It means if I go to the university, I won’t be at the house 24/7. So you won’t have to risk your life sneaking in here. We won’t have to meet in restrooms or hide in restaurants, hoping you don’t get shot at,” I said, laughing softly.
“It means I’ll have space. Time. My dad can’t watch me every single minute, and that means I can actually get to see you.”
“What about the guards?” he asked.
“They listen to whatever I say. I mean, I’m technically their boss.”
“No, you’re not,” he said flatly, but I could hear the amused edge in his voice.
“Still. I can find a way. Maybe I’ll say I’m going to a study session or something. I can handle them. Handling my dad is far more difficult.”
“Yeah…” he said. “Maybe you’re right.”
But something had shifted.
“You don’t sound happy,” I asked, noticing the change in his voice.
“I’m sorry,” he said, and I could feel his heart in that word. “I just… I had a fight with my dad. We had a little disagreement. And when I picked up the phone and you told me you had a solution for the two of us to see each other, I was elated. I thought…” He paused, and I could hear the rawness in his next words.
“I thought you were finally mine again. That you were coming back home. That we no longer had to hide or run around lying to our parents about ourselves. That I could hold you in public. Kiss you wherever I want. That you’d be here with me.”
And that was the moment my heart cracked just a little. I went quiet. I didn’t know what to say. The truth was, I wasn’t thinking of going back to him. Not now. Maybe later. But not now.
I was enjoying this Cullen the one I was seeing now. This gentler version. And I was afraid that the minute I went back, the minute I crossed that line, he wouldn’t be the same. That he would go back to being distant. That I would be trapped again. I just wanted to enjoy this feeling, this space, until I was really, truly sure.
I swallowed. “My dad is really mad about what happened,” I said, the words coming slowly. “I know I never said I was a saint.....”
“Sarah,” Colin said, soft, almost desperate. “I made a mistake. And I’m so sorry. More than you’ll ever know. We’ve already talked through this,” he said. “We want to be together. I know that. You’re my wife. But there’s no point in us running around while you’re still legally my wife.”
“Not just that,” he added. “You want me. I want you. We should be together....”
“We are,” I replied gently. “But it’s too early. Things are still hot. The feelings are everywhere. I think my dad needs time to really believe I’m safe. That I’m home. That I’m fine, before I start saying anything about us. Let’s just… take it slow.”
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