Silent Brother
SARAH
I took my phone, didn’t see the need to answer the texts, and just decided to call him straight away.
He didn’t pick up, and I was just about to get mad at him too, when he called.
“Hello, wifey,” he said.
“Good morning, Cullen,” I followed.
He laughed. I didn’t know what he was laughing at.
“Are you okay? Did you wake up well? Are you in a good mood?”
That made me laugh. “Why would you ask if I’m in a good mood?”
“Well,” he says. “I’m close to my mother, and I grew up with Bella, so I know there are days when they just go out mad at the world for no reason at all.”
That made me laugh, I guess, even though it left a bit of a bitter taste in my mouth when he mentioned Bella. But that was the truth. He grew up with her. She was a part of the family. She wasn’t going to go away.
And it also made me feel bad about the way I had treated her. I was still not sure about their relationship, so I really didn’t want to think much about her. I didn’t point her out. But then again, I realised Cullen was still talking.
".... Sarah, can you hear me?"
“Yes, I’m here,” I said quickly. “I’m listening.”
“Well, you have been ignoring me,” he said. “I was expecting you to....I don’t know call me in the morning or at least reply to my text or, you know, pick up the phone when I call.”
"Ooh..."
“I wanted to know how my beautiful wife woke up this morning.”
I hesitated. I wanted to tell him the truth. I wanted to pour everything out, tell him what my father just did, tell him about Ronan being such a psycho, tell him about everything..... My fingers tightened around the phone.
Instead, I said, "I'm okay. Just had a few things to do today, so I've been busy all day."
"Oh? Need any help from me? Anything I can help with?" he asked lightly.
"Not really," I said.
Then, after a beat, I added, "I'm just working on the university stuff. Finalising application forms and the rest, you know...."
"Did you get everything sorted out?"
"Yeah." I nodded, even though he couldn’t see me. "Ryan helped me with a lot of it, to be honest."
"Oh." He paused. "Ryan... that's your silent brother, right?"
I laughed. "Yeah, that’s him. He’s going there too. He knows the process. And he made it look so easy. He’s the reason my dad even allowed me to go to university, anyway. Because he would be there," I explained.
"Yeah, now that makes sense," he said.
"What do you mean?" I asked.
"Well..." He paused again. "It kind of shocked me when you told me your dad suggested you go to university given how you told me he was keeping you close."
"Yeah," I said. "It’s because my brother is going. So he thinks Ryan’s going to keep an eye on me, even though I don’t know what Ryan is going to study. I highly doubt he’s going to be studying music therapy."
Cullen snorted. And then I laughed.
We both laughed together, the sound easing some of the weight in my chest. After we’d calmed down, I said,
"I didn’t mean to ignore your texts or your calls today. I woke up with a lot on my mind, and I just went downstairs, focused on eating and the university stuff. I wasn’t even close to my phone. That’s why I never got back to you."
"It’s fine. I guess I have to understand," he said. "Even though I don’t get it, since my phone is always somewhere close. But... I just wanted to hear your voice."
I didn’t know what to say to that. It sounded a little accusing without really being accusing, but it made me want to explain myself.
"Look, Cullen... you should know, I’ve never really had friends. I don’t really have a great relationship with my brothers. My father was basically the only person I ever talked to. I’m not used to being glued to my phone 24/7. I forget I even have it sometimes."
There was silence on the other end. The kind of silence that meant something.
"You're the reason I even came upstairs to check on you" I said softly. "Because I was thinking about calling you," I finished.
Cullen went quiet for a few seconds before his voice returned. “Well, I get you didn’t have anyone to chat with before,” he said, softly. “But now you have me. Your husband. The one man loves you. The one who wants to know where you are, what you're doing....all the time, even if I’m far away.”
There he goes using the L word again.
He paused, then added with a small laugh, “Humour me, please.... I’m going to ask you, can you please, please, please check your phone? Just keep it close, okay? Because I know I’m sounding all calm and cool right now, and I’m trying not to sound crazy, but when I call and you don’t pick up? I do go crazy. So… can you do me that one favour?”
I could hear the sincerity in his voice. “I know I don’t deserve it,” he added. “And you don’t have to agree with it. But I’m still throwing it out there. Would you? Please?”
“Okay, I will,” I said quietly. “Even though being around my dad with my phone is going to be a challenge.”
“Right?” he said quickly. “Then put a password on it. Use my birthday. Please. So that your dad doesn’t just grab your phone and look through it.”
I laughed. “I don’t think he will.”
“Well, just in case. You know, you’re starting university soon. You’re gonna make friends. And as far as I know, when I was at university, I was obsessed with my phone. I’m sure your dad will understand.”
“Yeah, maybe,” I said, still laughing a little. Because I had just realised, this university thing might give me a lot of freedom.
I just hope Ryan doesn’t fuck it up for me.