The Snap
SARAH
It was a lazy day, like any other.
The doctors had come in, checked on me. The nurses gave me medication, ran their usual morning routines—exercises, both physical and mental. I had a therapist and everything. Then the neurosurgeon came and went. And just like that, the only people left in the room with me were my dad and Cullen.
The doctor had told my dad to give me a bit more space, to let me do things on my own. So there I was, eating breakfast by myself.
And then it happened.
Suddenly, I saw myself sitting at a dining table with an elderly woman and a man. I didn’t know them. I kept trying to understand who they were… and why I was having breakfast with them. The man wasn’t my father, and I had never known my mother, but they had always told me I looked a lot like her.
The more I focused on that moment, the more vivid it became. I glanced at Cullen and then it struck me. There were similarities between that woman and Cullen.
“What’s wrong?” my father asked.
“Nothing… I think I got a flashback,” I said slowly.
“What did you see?”
“I was having dinner with an elder man and an older woman. I think they are a couple, married....The woman looked at me lovingly, tenderly. I’ve never known my mom, but that’s how I always imagined her looking at me. Can that be correct? Or am I imagining things?”
My father paused, then looked at Cullen.
“Maybe… maybe you can show her a picture of your parents,” my father said, “so she’s sure if the memory is right or she's getting false memories.”
“Sure,” Cullen replied, pulling out his phone and scrolling through his gallery.
My father took the phone from him first, looked at the screen, then handed it to me.
Cullen sighed dramatically, and I let out a quiet laugh as I took the phone and stared at it.
“Yes… It’s them,” I said. “Who are they?”
“That’s my mother and father,” Cullen explained. “You usually had dinner with them most of the time.”
“Why?” I asked. “Where were you? I don’t remember you being there… Did we have breakfast or dinner together? Why was I having breakfast with them? I’m married to you. Why would they be there?”
“Because we lived with them,” he answered.
“Why?”
“I’m sure you’ll get the answer when you remember,” my father interrupted, gently.
“Okay,” I mumbled.
But instead of giving the phone back, I found myself flipping through the photos.
There were pictures of a party... I think it was an anniversary or something. Cullen’s mom and dad were in the centre, surrounded by a lot of people. Then there were what looked like family photos.
I tilted the phone toward him. “Who are they?”
“Well… that’s my mom and dad, you already know that. And that’s my sister-in-law, Bella, and that's my.....”
And then I said it.
“Cyrus.”
We both froze.
I don’t know if I was imagining it, but there was something in his expression, a flicker of fear… or was it hate?
And then like a dam breaking..... The memories came. Crashing.
One after the other.
My wedding. My marriage. What I did. The anniversary party. What I did that night. What happened.
What could have possibly led me to wake up like this—in this bed, in this condition?
It all came back, and it was too much.
Too much emotion. Too much hurt. Too much pain. Too much loneliness.
Those memories… they were not good memories.
They were not memories I would want to cherish, not memories I wanted to keep.
Because I was an ugly person. Because I had been hurting. In pain
I had been lonely.
I had been wasting away, living as a shell.
There was no happiness. There was no peace. There was no trust. There was no loyalty. And no love.
All there was.... All I had been.... I had been in pain.
I had been hurting.
I had been lonely.
I had no one to trust.
I had no one to keep.
I didn’t have anybody.
This image that I woke up to, this image where my father kept those memories of my childhood, of my past happy self..... They were all a lie.
Because at that moment, everything came back:
From my wedding to the man I didn’t even know I was going to marry, from the day of my wedding, from my marriage, and then moving into the Cincinnati house. And then everything that transpired after that.
Bella. Cyrus.... Everything was a mess. Everything was tainted.... Everything was dirty.
I did not.... I did not want to have that memory.
I did not want to be that person who was in my memories. I didn’t want to be that person.
I wanted to be this person... here, right now.... Where I had a father who loved me. A father who has been here since the day I opened my eyes. To this moment, he has never left.
I knew he was the head of our family, and he was needed there. But all he did was make phone calls, and he never left, he was here. For me.
He was in my corner.
A husband who was here with me. Who stayed.
Who talked to me, acted like he cared. Who gave me his undivided attention when my father was either busy on his phone or just, you know, dozing off.
A husband who was here. Who was interested in what I had to say. Who asked me questions about myself.
I felt myself building a bond with him. I actually.... stupidly thought I knew this man..... And I even stupidly convinced myself that I had been happy being married to this man.
But that had all been an illusion. Because this man in my memories.... He was a fucking asshole.
He was mean and arrogant. He didn’t care about me. He was bad to me. He hurt me.... Even though it wasn’t physical, He hurt me where you couldn't look.
They pretended to care now. But in my memories, they weren’t there.
“What’s wrong?” my father asked.
My hands were in my head, and tears were flowing.
I just kept shaking my head.
I kept mumbling, “No. No. No.”
“What did you do to her?” I heard my father snap at Cullen.
“Nothing! I didn’t do anything.... hey, Sarah, are you okay?” I heard Cullen’s voice
And then a slap.
“Get your hands off my daughter! What did you do?”
“I didn’t do anything! I just showed her the phone like you....”
“Get a doctor!” my father snapped,
While I kept repeating,
“No. No. No. No.”
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