Under Control
SARAH
“What?” I breathed, shaking my head. “Wait a minute. What do you mean, Dad?”
“I mean you no longer have to go back to that piece of shit,” he said, firmer now. “You no longer have to go back to that family. You're back home. Back home with me. Back home with your family.”
He exhaled, jaw clenched, voice thick with regret and something deeper, something that made my chest hurt.
“I thought that giving you away...marrying you to that family would protect you. That you’d be happy. But I nearly lost you, Sarah. And that’s never happening again.”
Then he pulled me into his chest. His arms wrapped around me like armour, like he was trying to shield me from everything that had ever gone wrong. His hand ran over my hair in slow, trembling strokes. I could feel the tension in his body, in his breathing. This moment meant something to him.
It felt like he’d been chasing this for a very long time. And now that he had it, he wasn’t going to let go. So I didn’t either.
My hands reached up, trembling, and I held him tighter, matching his energy in return. The connection between us, the warmth of it, made my heart ache. Because even in that closeness, I felt torn.
I was so conflicted.
The truth was... everything he said, everything he had done was supposed to make me feel safe, protected, free. But all I could think about was how much had just ended.
My marriage was getting annulled. I was no longer Cullen’s wife.
All those tangled connections that had somehow started to mean something to me, were suddenly just gone. It all felt so... Empty.
I knew I never truly wanted to be a part of that family. I had hoped, prayed that somehow, there would be a way out. That maybe one day, the marriage with Cullen would dissolve, disappear, end without war or ruin.
But I had also made peace with the idea that there was no way out.... I had drilled it into myself like a ritual: this is permanent, this is forever, there is no escape but death.
And yet... here I was. Alive. And suddenly, not his.
It felt strange, so strange. Not freeing. Not victorious. Just... empty.
Because even though I hadn’t wanted to be Cullen’s wife, I couldn’t forget the way he had looked at me before my memory returned while I was at the hospital... That quiet way his eyes lingered like I meant something. The way we talked, how our words didn’t clash like swords anymore, but fell into sync like something comfortable, something rare.
There had been a connection.
And when I found my memories again, when everything came rushing back, I hadn’t even had the chance to speak with him, not properly. Not without doctors and dad.
Still, it felt like he wanted to give us a chance. And now... it was over. Just like that.
I felt stupid for thinking he wanted to fight for me. For us.
Then I looked at my father. “What did Cullen say? Is he the one who proposed this?”
My father shook his head, firm and without hesitation. “No. He didn’t call for it.”
He took a breath, then met my gaze.
“I was the one who called for the meeting,” he said. “I was the one who asked Cincinnati for the annulment of the marriage. I didn’t want any problems.”
“Problems?” I asked, my voice low, uncertain.
“Yes,” my father said, unwavering. “I’ve only just gotten you back. You still need me. You still need this family. I didn’t want to go into war right now because I want to put all my focus on you.”
He paused, then added more calmly, “Of course, that was if things went smoothly. If anyone had posed a problem... I wouldn’t have had an issue going to war. But my aim was to take care of you first. So I wanted everything to go as cleanly as possible.”
That made sense. Strategic, measured. Coldly loving. But it wasn’t enough. Not for me.
“But... what did Cullen say?”
I wasn’t sure why I was asking. I wasn’t supposed to care. But I did. I really did. I just needed to know it hadn’t all been in my mind. That I wasn’t the only one who’d felt something.
My father opened his mouth and then stopped. His eyes scanned my face like he was seeing me for the first time. And not in a gentle, sentimental way, but like he had just realised something. Something new. It was slow, deliberate, as if calculating.
Uncomfortable, I tucked my hair behind my ear and frowned.
“What?” I asked sharply.
He swallowed, looked away for a brief second, then said, almost too casually,
“Cullen was fine with it.”
And for some reason… that hurt. It just fucking hurt.
More than I wanted to admit. More than I thought it would. I don’t know why. Maybe I do. Maybe that’s what scares me.
My father must have sensed the silence growing too loud, so he changed the subject. He started telling me how everyone at home had missed me, the housekeeper, the cook, even his soldiers. My personal bodyguard, too. People I barely spoke to day-to-day, but apparently, they had all asked about me. My father didn’t do gossip, but this was as close as he got. He told me who had gotten married, who’d earned a promotion, and who’d moved away. It wasn’t small talk, it was his version of easing my mind, pulling me back into this world I’d been gone from.
And honestly, it worked.... For a while.
Eventually, though, he had to go. “Work,” he said with a light tap to my hand, promising to check in later. I nodded because I was tired too. All the emotions from the day were starting to settle on my chest.
Not long after he left, Dr. Chen returned with his assistant. It was time for us to “get acquainted,” as he put it. He said he needed to run a few tests, review my condition in detail, and begin laying out a treatment plan. That meant blood samples, urine samples, every kind of sample you could imagine. The nurse was kind, and efficient, and made it all feel a little less invasive than it was.
When they were done, Dr. Chen sat beside me again. “I won’t be staying here,” he said, almost like a reassurance. “But I’ll come every morning, and leave every evening. You’ll have me whenever you need me.”
He handed me a card.
“My personal number. And Anna’s,” he said, gesturing to the nurse, who smiled at me. " I know your dad already does but just in case."
“Thank you,” I murmured.
They both nodded and left. For the first time since waking up in my childhood bedroom… I didn’t know how I felt.
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