Chapter Twenty
Bella
I am in deep slumber when I hear my mother’s hysterical voice shouting and crying. I think she is making a call and crying it’s giving me a headache. As I try opening my eyes the light strikes me in the face and I close my eyes to avoid it for a second then I hear my father as he comes into the room. Those running footsteps must have been his, there are other footsteps that seem to be coming our way I hate the noise.
The bed dips as my father gets on the bed beside me and puts my head in his lap, he is shaking and tense as he opens one eye then the other with his fingers telling me to look at him and answer him
“How many pills did you take?” he keeps asking and my mother’s crying keeps getting louder
He picks me up and takes me into the bathroom, forcefully opening my mouth and putting his finger into my throat. I start vomiting in the toilet bowl so hard it stings and hurts so bad. Dad has pinned my hair above my head and he is patting my back as I release the last gag reflex and sit on my toilet floor tired out. He gives me water to flush out the dirt in my mouth then just stands there by the sink looking at me.
There is a knock on the bathroom door, my dad opens the door and Mrs. Cedric comes into view. I don’t look at either of them as they start murmuring to each other, then dad reluctantly leaves me with her.
“Did you really try to kill yourself?” she asks calmly but I can hear the shaking in her voice. I don’t know if it’s from anger or pain but its there. I shake my head no and continue looking at the floor
“Did you take those pills? How many? Please, let me help you, baby” she says smoothly and tears just start flowing from my eyes
“I wanted to but I didn’t. I didn’t take those pills” I say and it hurts my throat like hell to talk right now which makes me cough
“Okay” she answers and starts preparing a bath for me. I must look disgusting right now
After she is done she approaches me on the floor helping me get up, out of my clothes and into to the tub. She tells me to relax and let my body go as she washes my hair. She used to do this a lot when I was a kid, telling me I was her perfect daughter or just singing to me. And she does just that today. It is embarrassing and a huge fail that I tried to kill myself, didn’t and now everyone sees how weak I am.
“I am sorry. I didn’t want to hurt anybody, I am so sorry” she shushes me and helps me with a towel, then hands me a toothbrush as she tells me to give her a minute.
As soon as she opens the door I can hear voices coming from my bedroom, the higher one being my mothers. I lean on the door and eaves drop on what they are saying
“You can’t leave her alone, she is suicidal she might try to do it again” my father says
“She is fine; she didn’t actually take the pills. Cullen get me something for her sore throat” Mrs. Cedric answers still walking
“What do you mean she didn’t take it? She wrote a suicide letter, its right here” cedric says and there is ruffling of papers
“I don’t think she actually went through with it but if it makes you feel better you can get rid of any potential harmful things in her room” his wife answers
“And get a security camera for the bedroom until we are sure” my father says
I hear footsteps approaching the bathroom door and run to the sink to continue cleaning my teeth. Mrs. Cedric places some clothes beside the sink and motherly tells me to take my time as she leaves.
I take my time getting into the pajamas and even a lot longer to get myself to open the door and leave the sanctuary of this bathroom. Every one outside this door will be so pointed and disappointed and I can’t take that. There is a knock as my mom calls “sweetie” by what they have been talking about, thinking I am suicidal, I have to get out there or they will start panicking again.
I open the door and step into my bedroom. There are no longer pills on my bed and I look straight at it avoiding eye contact. My parents and Cullen are in my room, Cullen goes into the bathroom after me coming out with something’s on the waste basket, I think they are getting rid of harmful stuffs.
“honey are you okay?” my mother asks sitting next to me on the bed and taking my hand. I nod in reply
“Why would you do this?” Cullen asks me, I can hear the anger in his voice
“Cullen I don’t think we should be upsetting her. I think she needs….” Mrs. Cedric says but Cullen stops her
“I don’t care what she needs” he shouts back. I don’t think I have ever heard Cullen talk back to his mother before.
“Now, calm down boy” cedric warns him
“I thought you knew me. I thought you trusted me” he says, crouching in front of me on the floor by the bed
“I am so sorry, I am just so sorry. I didn’t mean to do it; I wasn’t going to do it” I say taking his hand and looking at him. I need him to see that I mean it
“Do you trust me? Have you ever trusted me?” he asks me
“Yes, absolutely. You know that” I answer honestly
“Then why did you break my trust?”
“I know what you mean Cullen, I am so soory. I am disappointed in myself too”
“I don’t think I have ever known you, maybe I just saw what I wanted to see” he then gets up and removes my hand from him leaving my room full of anger. I think I just lost my best friend and I start crying
“He is just mad right now, he will come around” Mrs. Cedric says to me as she takes me in her arms
“Oh baby” my mom says crying beside me
“I think she needs to lie down for a while. She has been through enough today, lets give her some space”
“I have called the doctor to get an inside therapist to come for a house visit to the house and look her over. The security cameras will be set promptly; I don’t want her to leave this room without another pair of eyes until we know this won’t happen again” my father says
“I’ll stay with her until the doctor comes but I think it’s too much, she didn’t really take the pills” Mrs. Cedric says
“I am not taking any chances she won’t try and succeed this time until the doctor assures me she is not a danger to herself” my father answers, not leaving chance for argument
Mrs. Cedric throws my dad and Mr. Cedric out the door and asks mom to get me something soothing from the kitchen. A guard at the house comes in next and sets a camera on the corner of my bedroom wall. That’s what I am now, a prisoner in my own room.
“They are only doing this because they care about you my girl”
“It feels like punishment”
“But deep down you know it’s not. Your parents are scared and terrified that they nearly lost you today. They only know what to do but you have me here. You can tell me anything” she says this like she expects me to tell her something but I don’t have anything to say really.
Just then my mother comes in with the soup and hands it to Mrs. Cedric. Cullen’s mom feeds me the soup and hands me the medicine Cullen must have brought in. my mother sits at a chair looking outside the windows as the sun hits her face and I take a look at her, she looks horrible and defeated. I feel so bad for the wreck I caused this morning and I wish I could take it back. I wish I could change what I did from last night but I can’t. Guess I will have to find a way to live with this when the walls all come tumbling down on me.
Log in with Google Account
Chapters
Favorite
Settings
