Chapter 30

El's point of view
I had just arrived at my apartment and had changed my clothes right away. I read Ivan's chat and he stated that we will meet at KFC. He stated he would treat me and that he had something to say to me. I'm not sure what it is, and I'm confused as to why he needs to meet with me to tell me that. He has the option of saying it in chat, but he prefers to say it in person. Nonetheless, I stopped complaining because I wanted to make amends for my earlier refusal of him.
I'm wearing my high-cut Converse sneakers with my jumper jeans. I no longer bother to style my hair because I will cover my face with a hat so that no one will recognize me. I checked to see if he had already chatted me after I fixed myself.
From: Ivan Gil
I've already arrived. Take care.
I quickly type my response and send it.
To: Ivan Gil
I'm already on my way. I'll see you later.
When I got out of the home and got to the highway, a jeep passed by. It was getting dark so I was sure I would be able to go home at night. There are also benefits to being alone in life, such as the fact that no one will become enraged and concerned about me if I am late or do not come back home.
I got out of the vehicle when it arrived at the jeep terminal and began going towards KFC. I didn't bother riding the trike and instead checked my message while walking. Ivan sent me another message.
From: Ivan Gil
Are you okay?
I can't type well, so I just make a voice message for him. "I'm almost there; I see the KFC."
I crossed the road and went into KFC after sending the voice message. I looked around right away and found just what I was looking for. He gave me a wave and, like me, was wearing a hat. I approached him and took the seat in front of him that had been assigned for me.
"What took you so long? I've been waiting for 30 minutes, thinking you'd been kidnapped," he joked. He removed his cap and continued, "I already ordered our food."
"Why did you remove? Maybe someone will recognize you," I stated and looked at the surroundings.I didn't observe any customers glancing at our seat, and we were also on the part of the wall where people didn't pay attention.
"Don't worry, El," he assured me, "they won't recognize us as I turned my back on the main entrance, making it hard for me to recognize any longer."
His order was delivered to our table by the waiter. He bowed slightly to the waitress and said, "Thank you." He look at me "Let's eat." He signed of cross after I nodded. He took out his phone and snapped a photo of our dinner. I notice his discomfort when he looks at me.
"Why?" I asked.
"Can I take a picture with you?" he asked, gulping.
I chuckle and give him a nod. "Why not? As long as you don't upload it."
He nods as well and adjusts his phone position. We take a picture together on his phone, and when I get home, I'll message him to have him send our photo. Ivan and I already have a photo, but Aly and I don't.
I'm not sure why I don't think of doing that when we're at school together, but I'll remember it tomorrow. I'd like to buy a photo album and fill it with photos of the three of us: Jas, Aly, and Ivan, so that if I'm melancholy and lose the will to fight, I can glance through the album and see the faces of the persons who have been a part of my life here in my new home.
"Let's eat," he said, and we began eating the food he had ordered for us.
We were both silent, so I decided to ask him what he would say to me. Based on what I've seen, he appears to be a trouble. I know there's a problem since he's not like this.
"Do you have a problem? You may tell me about it," I said, breaking the stillness.
He forced a smile as he replied, "I'll be going to tell it after we eat." I nodded and resumed my meal.
I didn't say anything else until we'd both done eating. I have no idea what's on his mind, and I'd like to know so I can help him lose some weight. I can see the anguish in his eyes as we stare at one other. He had before smiled as if nothing was wrong. He's so adept at acting as if he's got a problem. I didn't notice when I first arrived.
"So, what's the problem?" I questioned.
Before speaking, he gulped and bit his bottom lip. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean everything. I never expected it to happen. Please forgive me and don't be upset with me, El."
My brow furrowed. What exactly is he on about? I'm not sure why he's apologizing. What needs to be fixed so that I don't become irate?
He stuttered, "D-do you already visit your newsfeed account?" I shook my head.
"Why? What do I need to see?" I asked, both anxious and nervous.
I pulled my phone into the pocket of my sweater and opened the Facebook app right away. I swallowed hard as I saw the first photo on my newsfeed, and as I tried to browse again, I noticed that Ivan and I each had multiple photos. All of the photos were taken as we walked, and several were taken right in front of my classroom.
I couldn't think of anything to say, so I just frowned. Why do photographs such as this emerge? I had assumed that the students would just talk about us on campus, and I, like Ivan, had not foreseen this. I can't say I blame him; I wanted him to be with me. I don"t know how to escape the issue, and to the attention of the people.
"El, I'll take care of everything; I'll talk to everyone who posted the photo, I'll erase everything, and I'll make it clear that we're just friends," he says.
I didn't respond to him and instead chose the first photo I saw. When we were photographed, we were both smiling as we walked down the corridor. If I wasn't the one in the image, I'd think something was engaging with us as well.
It wasn't only the photo that astonished me; they'd already created up a group page. They created a fandom name which is "IvanEl". As i read the comment on the photo i clicked, they"re all thrilled because of us. I didn"t expect that they will like me for Ivan. I thought, they would think Ivan"s standard was low. I expected to hear feedback that would erode the self-assurance I had built up. I can't understand why, but I was pleased that someone was enthused about me, and I can now read positive remarks about me.
I'm terrified of gaining people's attention since they always criticize me. They don"t see my value and they always notice my mistakes and even if a mistake of mine has happened a long time ago, they come back; they remind me to make me look weak. So now that I"m getting new attention, my fear is reduced. I"m thankful and they see me as a good person.
They think I'm a simple woman with a charming heart and beauty. Ivan and I are said to be perfect because we are both goal-oriented and intelligent.
I even read another comment on another picture and I haven"t read a negative comment even one. Because of the enjoyment of reading, I was no longer aware that Ivan was speaking. If he hadn"t covered the screen of my phone, I wouldn"t have noticed him.I look at him wondering.
"What were you saying earlier? I"m sorry, I don"t understand," I stated.
He look so perplexed while staring at me. He gulped and asked, "why are you smiling?"
I was astonished as well when he stated those things. I bit the inside of my bottom lip and averted my glance from him. I couldn't think of anything to say and couldn't look him in the eyes.
I felt humiliated since I hadn't realized I was smiling. I was embarrassed because I appeared to him to be a liar. I told him earlier that I don't want people's attention, yet I appear to be satisfied with what's going on now.
I swallowed again as he replied, "El, I can't go wrong with what I saw. I saw that you smile." I was uncomfortable and unable to come up with anything to say to him. "Look at me, El, I'm perplexed."
I forced myself to look at him. I felt more embarrassed when he smiled at me. This time, i know his smile is real.
"I thought you would get angry and then everything would go back from the start; you will consider me a stranger and I need to find a way for you to notice me," he stated. I still had nothing to say so I waited for him to speak again. "So it means, are you okay with what you saw? Is it okay even if I don't talk to them to delete the picture? For me, it's okay but your opinion is more important. If you still want to delete, I will make a way to get rid of it all. But El, you smiled earlier and I felt that you were happy with their comments so let's just let them go, El. It's also a bit difficult to erase because there are so many of them who uploaded a photo."
I rolled my eyes at him and hold not to smile. I didn't answer him because he already knew what I would answer him. It was obvious on his face that he was happy and I no longer objected. I also thought that this could be a way for me to easily forget how I feel about Jas.
If Ivan really likes me, I will also teach myself to like him. It's not hard to like him but so far I haven't learned and I really think of him as just a friend. If we get to know each other, and I focus my attention on him, my hope that Jas will like me too may be dashed.
The events in my life right now are so weird. It was all unexpected but I"m glad I experienced it. I am grateful and I have experienced liking someone who is not able to like me just like how I feel to him and while my attention is focused on him, I am not aware that there is also someone who desires to like me.
"Let's go home, Ivan," I stated and he nodded.
"You must not refuse what I'll say," he said and the smile never left his lips. He almost closed his eyes because of his smile.
"What"s that?" I asked, referring to what he says that I can"t deny anymore.
"I"ll take you home," he answered and I nodded.
"Sure, why would I refuse your offer? It's a waste of my fare if I refuse you," I joked and we exited the KFC.
He had a BMW with him and it was different from the car he used when he helped me then. This is my first time to ride in this type of vehicle and it never entered my mind that it was possible for me to ride in it. I was only seen this kind of car in the movie and in my book then but now, I can ride.
He opened the passenger door and i entered. He also got into the driver's seat and started driving. He played a calm music and it adapted to the dark and quiet environment.
I don"t know the reason but I don"t want to go home first. I want to wander around and ventilate in a quiet place where I can breathe fresh air and lie in wait for the shooting star.
"Ivan, will your mom and dad find you if you come home late?" I asked.
He looked at me for a few seconds and turned his sight back to the road. I just also noticed that he was so soft when he drives. Not fast, nor too slow.
"Why? Do you want to go somewhere? Where do you want? Tell it and we'll go. I can text mom when I get home late. That won't make her mad. Meanwhile, dad is hasn't come home yet."
I look at his direction and tell where I want to go while smiling. "Let"s go to the beach. It's okay with me even if we're only there for an hour
"He smiled too and nod. "Game!"