Chapter 80

I'm currently walking through our campus's hallway. I couldn't help but feel apprehensive. I bent my head and wore the cap so they wouldn't notice me. Almost every student I heard was discussing the situation between Ivan and me. They're all affected, and I'm not sure why they can't get over it.
Is there nothing else they can talk about? Why can't they just accept what has happened? I didn't expect the situation to be so tough when so many people know you, They will forget for a long time if you do anything noticeable, and it will appear as if you are not allowed to make a mistake in their eyes. It's as if you're living for the sake of others, and you'll be hesitant to make decisions for fear of being judged and losing admirers.
I'm hoping he'll be able to deal with a situation like this. Hopefully, this will not be the catalyst for Ivan's optimistic demeanor to shift. I'm sure it'll finish, and after the days pass, they'll forget about it as well. I want Ivan to be happy with the girl he likes, and I want to do the things I love, such as expressing my feelings for Jas.
I have already entered the SHS building and I am currently walking on the second floor. I was close to my classroom, but my breathing seemed to stop when someone suddenly pulled me into the music room. It was so dark, I couldn"t see any light so I had no idea who pulled me.
"W-who are you?" I asked, stuttering. I heard his footstep reason for me to gulp and step backward. I dared to ask again. "What do you need from me?" I continued to walk backward until my back hit something and I felt a great shock when suddenly the piano rang when I put my palm on it. Even so, I prepared myself for what might happen until suddenly there was a light coming from the bulb on the ceiling. "Ivan?" I asked. Shock replaced the nervousness and fear I was feeling. "Why did you bring me here?"
Since his birthday ended, I haven't heard from him. I didn"t open my messenger so I don"t know if he has a message. I also didn"t check my timeline because I didn"t want to see and read whatever people were saying with many theories believed about the two of us.
As I look at him, I can"t explain why his eyes are melancholic. The change in his face was so obvious that he seemed tired. I see a different Ivan now, I can't see his former happy and positive nature.
"Why did you do that?" he asked, expressionless. His palms were in the pocket of his uniform pants as he stared coldly at me.
"What do you mean?"
He smirked and averted his sight at me. He walked closer to me again and then he turned his gaze back to me. "Why did you do that? Why did you explain?" he asked making me gulp.
I didn"t expect him to ask me those kinds of questions. And I didn"t expect him to treat me so coldly as he asked that question. I thought he would be happy, I thought he would thank me because all the blame will no longer be on him.
When Jas left my apartment last night, I wasted no time in taking my planned step to help Ivan. I made a video, explaining what exactly happened between us and I upload it on my Facebook. I explained in the video that it was not Ivan"s fault and there was nothing wrong with us because we both had different likes. I didn"t mention Jas's name, but I also said that Ivan wasn"t the only one who liked somebody.
As he stares at me now, I can"t help but wonder. Why does he seem mad? I did that to help him. To change people's perspectives on him, but why doesn't he seem to like it? Did I do it wrong? What does he want? Would he prefer that I not interfere and let people think of him that way even though he is not such a person?
"Answer me, El! Why did you do that?" I was surprised at the rise in his voice. I don"t know, but my throat hurt, and the corner of my eye got hot. He is important to me because he is my friend and now that he is mad and yelling at me, I am very affected.
"Don"t you understand, Ivan? I just want to help you. I want to change the way people think of you. I don't understand where your anger at me comes from for what I did because it's for you too," I responded. I tried to fight back to keep my tears from dripping, but I couldn"t stop them when I spoke.
"You don't understand me either, El. I want you to know that you didn"t help. You only made the weight I feel worse," he said softly and then turned his back on me. I bowed down and then burst into tears silently.
I do not understand. I can't understand him. How could I have made him feel worse? I thought he was glad because he already had the freedom to love the real girl he wanted.
I looked up at him when I heard his voice again as he held the doorknob. "Let"s not mess with each other anymore, El. Just think that I became part of your dream and I will do the same," he stated before he exited the music room.
I sat down on the floor and laid my head on my knee. I already told myself that I would accept whatever happened and I expected this scene where Ivan would cut us all off. I used to think that I didn"t deserve his forgiveness because I knew I hurt him, but I can"t understand now why he still hurts so much even though he likes someone else.
I spend almost ten minutes in the music room. I wasn't late for class yet, so I entered the room when our subject teacher arrived. I could see Aly's concern in her eyes, but she didn't say anything. I just let go of my classmates' gaze, and if there isn't a teacher in front of us, I'm sure I hear something from them.