Chapter 35

El"s point of view
I awoke with the sensation of someone embracing my back. I remained still in my posture and simply felt his warmth. I'm not sure whether I should be delighted because of his hug or saddened as I only have an hour until I have to let him go. I stayed in bed for a few more minutes, carefully removing his arm from around my waist. He didn't feel till I left the room when I got up.
Before heading to the kitchen, I make myself presentable. I have class today, so I just got up early to prepare breakfast. I made fried rice, spam, and eggs, just like I used do every morning. I also made a cup of hot chocolate for myself and a cup of cold chocolate for Jas. Even though it's 4:30 a.m., Jas has yet to leave the room. Everything is all up on the table, and all I have to do now is wait for him to arrive before starting breakfast. Something makes me want to go to my room and wake him up, but I don't want to because he was still sound sleeping when I left. It was getting close to five o'clock, and I needed to leave to go to campus, but I didn't want to leave him here. The sun was about to rise, and he wouldn't be able to leave my apartment if he didn't come home immediately away.
I stood up and walked over to my bedroom door. I was about to touch the doorknob when it opened, revealing the person I was looking for. I gave him a kind smile, and he reciprocated. His hair was still a tangle, and I had only recently recognized that the jacket I had lent him had suited him well.
I greeted, "Good morning, Jas."
He responded, "Good morning, El," and proceeded to the restroom. I went to the table as well, and he quickly followed me and sat down. He asked, "Did you prepare everything?" I nodded. "You prepared too much," he chuckled, "it fits five people."
" "That's why you need to eat a lot so my effort isn't wasted," I said, smiling as well. "Let's get started, Jas," I added as I piled some fried rice on my plate.
I'm not leaving; there are just some things I'll put a limit on and I won't avoid him if he wants to be with me, but I can't help but be sad. I have no idea what's on his mind, but he also look lugubrious. I didn't understand why, but it seems like there is a departure between the two of us and we both feel despair.
Even though I didn't look at him, I could feel his attention on me when he finished eating. I also had the impression that he wanted to tell me something, but I couldn't figure out what was keeping him from doing so. Last night, I still felt it, and perhaps now he is ready to express himself. After I finished eating, I smiled and glanced at what I had prepared before turning to face Jas. I wanted to de-stress, so I paved the way for us to feel better.
"What do you say I have prepared for five people? Look at the plate," I said, smiling and then I pointed to the plates. "Look at the plate, it's empty," I stated laughing and as I look at his expression, he forces to smile.
He smiled as he looked at the wall clock and added, "I need to go home, and you need to prepare at your school. Change your cloth; I'll wash it. Let's all head to the highway together. "
I stood up after responding with a nod. "I'm just quick," I said, and he agreed.
I got out of the dining area and went to the bathroom to shower. I just finished swiftly and cleaned myself out right away. I checked the clock before leaving the room, and it was already 5:00 a.m. I walked out instantly and saw Jas seated in the living room. He stood up after giving me a glance.
"Are you done?" he asked, and I replied with a nod. He added, "Let's go."
I was able to see his uniform hanging in his hand as he walked first. I smiled because I genuinely think he didn't want to give back my jacket because he liked it. And, at the very least, he has a remembrance of me, which he cherishes every time he sees it. When he opened the door and let me out first, my smile became even wider. When I looked around, the sky was still a little dark and there was some rain falling.
Before glancing at him, I said, "It's pouring, Jas. Do you have a umbrella?" I asked, and he replied with a nod.
"I'm not sure why, either. I'm constantly forgetting to buy an umbrella," I reply. I'm also not sure why I only think of the umbrella when it's raining. I always forget to purchase things, and I still haven't returned Ivan's umbrella that he gave me since I forgot to bring it with me.
I nodded as he replied, "Let's go." Before we started walking, he placed his arm around my shoulder. We took our time walking and no one spoke until we arrived at the waiting shed. I'm down in the dumps once again, and I'm not sure why Jas is feeling the same way.
We were running out of time, so I didn't ask him what his problem was, and I'm hope he can heal from the problems he didn't tell me about. We all have a secret, and as long as we can handle our own issues, we don't involve others. Maybe that's what he was thinking, and I need to understand what he was thinking because that's how I am; as long as I can manage it, I won't tell anybody.
He glanced to the incoming bus and remarked, "There's a bus."
I smile as I stare at him, and he smiles back. "Use this," he added as he gave over his umbrella.
I glance at the umbrella for a second before returning my sight to him. "How about you?" I asked.
"I'm OK." He replied, "I'll just take a shower when I get home," and signaled for the bus to come to a halt. As the bus approached our location, I gulped. The bus driver called us because I hadn't moved to board. He forced a smile as he added, "Go ahead, I'll text when I get to the apartment." I responded with a nod and moved away from him.
I boarded the bus and began looking for a seat. When I sat down, the bus began to go, so I stared out the window at Jas. I was waving my hand as well, and he was waving his. I watched his lips open and understood exactly what he was trying to say even though I couldn't hear him. I'm aware that he advised me to be careful.
The bus begins to accelerate, and Jas gradually fades from view. When I look at his umbrella, I can't help but smile. It's time to make the change, and I'm hopeful I'll be able to handle it. I know how difficult it is, but I will try my best to resolve everything.
I came on campus shortly after. Only a few students were around, and the rain had stopped. I'm glad there are just a few students here as I'm sure their gaze will be drawn back to me. Maybe I'll start going to school early every day so Ivan can't keep up with me. I know I shouldn't refuse him as we've already committed to get to know each other, so when he asks to spend time with me, I have no choice but to go with him and ignore what others say.
"El!"
I sighed heavily as I heard my name being called. I quickly came to a halt, but did not return my gaze to the person who had called to me. I recognized his voice and knew he was running towards me even though I didn't return to him. Because I was early, I assumed he wouldn't be able to catch up with me, but he was there and called me.
As he approached my position, he said, "Good morning, El."
I was still unable to move from my position, and when I looked at him, he was smiling. "Good morning, Ivan," I said with a smile.
We begin to walk, and I am speechless. I didn't feel uncomfortable, but I lacked the guts to speak and I had no idea what to say. He accompanied my quiet till we reached the opposite side of my classroom. I come to a halt and look at him; he comes to a stop as well, but says nothing. He just stares at me, waiting for me to say anything.
I took a deep breath and smiled at him. "Let's join together for a snack. All you have to do is come to my room," I said.
His surprise could be seen on his face, but he ultimately smiled and nodded. He said, "Thank you," and then walked away without hearing my response.
I walked inside my classroom as well, and because I was still alone, I considered the changes with Ivan. That wasn't how I knew him; he was talkative, and it was his hobby to irritate me, but he was previously extremely quiet. I'm not sure if my suspicions are true, but I think he thought I was just pushing myself. If he feels that way, he will be hurt, thus I must like what is going on, and I cannot force myself to like it. I should be fine with my decision and become accustomed to it.
My classmates began to appear as time passed. Some of them are greeting me, and all I can do is smile back. I'm not used to what they do or mingling with others, but I have no option but to smile at them in order to avoid appearing snooty and killjoy. Because of my connection with Ivan, I know they do this, so all I have to do is go with the flow.
Soon after, Aly came, her face lighted up with a smile. She also smiled as she reached our seat, and when she saw me, she offered me a paper bag. I had no clue what was inside, so I asked her right away.
"What exactly is this?" As I examined the paper bag, I asked. I couldn't see what was inside the topping ware.
"I prepared cookies for my best friend, and I hope she likes it," she said, looking at me.
My heart is thrilled, and I embrace the paper bag she handed me. "I appreciate it, Aly." Thank you for your time and effort; I'm sure I'll like it. "
This is the first time I've ever received cookies baked by the person who gave them to me. It feels great to know that someone is willing to go out of their way to make you feel special, and whatever it tastes like, I'm sure I'll love it. I didn't wait for the snack break because I was eager to see it. I instantly opened the paper bag and open the topping ware inside.
When I saw the cookies, I gave her a bright smile. "It's so adorable, Aly, may I have a bite? I can no longer wait until snack break"
She smiles and nods. "I'm a little jittery, El." I'm hoping it doesn't have a burnt flavor."
I took a bite of one of the butterfly-shaped cookies and tasted it right away. Aly was waiting for me to say something, but I remained silent while savoring what she had given me. I had already eaten the first piece and was about to take again. I wanted to laugh at Aly's reaction as her mouth was wide open, expecting for me to say something, but I kept failing to do so. I took a third chance after eating the second cookies, and I couldn't help but laugh at her reaction.
"El, what's the matter with you? Why aren't you speaking up?" she asked, and I can't stop laughing, and my stomach is already aching from trying to keep my laughter from becoming even louder; I laugh at her reaction because I know she'll weep in a few minutes over the cookies that she's not sure I liked.
"Aly, what's your name?" I asked, and she appeared perplexed, but she answered. I replied when she asked why I asked for my name. "Your cookies are so tasty that I forgot my name."
She smiled and took the cookies she brought as a result of what I said. She sampled it as well, and she asked about my name. I felt my phone vibrate in the pocket of my uniform as we were eating, so I quickly took it.
When I checked my phone, I noticed that there was a message from Jas.
Aly asked, "Who is Jas?"
I paused for a few moments, unsure of how to respond to her. I'd want to declare that Jas is the man I like, but I'd rather trust my instincts.
"A friend of mine," I respond, a smile on my face.