Chapter 63

Her smile was like a blossom on the deep seafloor; it existed alone and could only be seen once in a lifetime. As she answered the reporter's inquiry, she had a peculiar smile on her lips and eyes. I couldn't figure out how she got that distinctive twinkle in her eye. Only just now, as our paths crossed, could I see her expression vividly.
She was enthusiastic, and I know the audience couldn't help but note the change in Baki's expression. They'll undoubtedly question as to who she's referring to. I'm now wondering how she'll explain to Jas what she said in the interview. Is Jas watching the news like me? What was going through his head as he watched the interview? Who wouldn't be proud of Baki's talent? I'm sure he's incredibly proud of his friend. Well I was blown away by the talent she showcased earlier, and it's unlikely that anyone will be unimpressed by her.
Ivan and Baki bowed modestly in front of the reporter before leaving. When the two departed in front of her, my mind was drifting again, and I couldn't hear what the reporter was saying. I leaned my head on the sofa after dropping my phone on my seat. I closed my eyes and visualized things that would irk my chest even more.
I wasn't in a position to be envious, yet I couldn't stop myself from feeling it. What if they have the same feelings for each other? How should I do, and how do I intend to choose my good rest? Will I stick to my plan or will I choose to stay put when my heart breaks from the anguish I'm experiencing? I didn't want to overthink things; I wanted to believe in positive aspects, but my thoughts were out of control. I also want to be able to adapt the incentives I find on social media to my own needs; I also want to learn not to get caught up in negative thoughts, but I don"t know how or where to begin.
Life is quite demanding. I'm still a teenager, yet I'm worried about a number of things. When will I be able to get out of this mess? When will I have trust in my own strengths, and when will I be able to see the bright side of things? I've done nothing except overthink things, despite the fact that I'm well aware that overthinking isn't helpful to anyone. Maybe I just wanted to break the monotony; I needed to unwind and scream to get rid of the resentment I was experiencing. If I just lie down and let myself be dominated by emotional pain, nothing will happen to me. My only adversary is myself, and no one can save me except myself.
When I heard a knock at the door, my eyes widened. He's already there, and I have to hide my sorrowful expression so he doesn't worry about me. I don't want to put him in a bad mood. Perhaps all I need to do now is concentrate on his presence in order to forget about whatever is bothering my mind at the moment. I should congratulate him on his better performances earlier.
Why do I didn"t feel the same with him? I wouldn't be hurt like this if he were the man I adore, and I wouldn't hurt him in the end either. Everything would be perfect if I only loved him as much as he loved me, but we cannot taught ourselves to love someone. Even though he appears to be flawless in the eyes of others, I can't seem to fall in love with him.
I got out of my sofa and walked over to the door. When I opened the door, Ivan appeared in front of me, clutching a paper bag. He was dressed casually in a polo shirt tucked into denim jeans and a white shoe. He has a very plain style, but it is clear that she comes from a wealthy family. I couldn't help but wonder why he liked me because his life was so different from mine.
"Hey, don't stare at me like that," he said, jolting me out of my haze of thoughts.
"Stop telling lies. Just come in," I replied before turning away from him. He came up behind me and shut the door.
I took a seat on the sofa, and he soon followed. He sat down next to me and then took what was in the paper bag he was holding out. I instantly thanked him when he handed it to me. "Thank you," I said, a smile on my face.
He ordered an ube shake and fries to go with it. I inserted the straw into the shake he gave and asked, "Did you watch your interview with Baki earlier?"
"At this time, no. Have you seen it?" he asked, his shake ready to be sipped.
After taking a drink of the shake, I responded with a nod. I said, "I already watched it."
"Didn't you get a thrill out of what I said in the interview?" he questioned with a smile.
"What are you talking about?" I said, and he pouted.
'Oh, God, he's behaving juvenile again,' I thought to myself.
"What I mean is, at your interview, what did you say? Why would you be motivated to improve your game by seeing my banner? I'm not artistic, and the Grade 1 pupil is better at designing than I am," I said.
He spoke when a smile replaced his pouty lip. "Can you tell me what you're referring to? That is the most beautiful banner I have ever seen."
Before I drank my drinks, I rolled my eyes at him. "Don't try to trick me. You merely say that, but deep down you're laughing at the banner I made," I explained.
He scratched his neck and smiled, but he couldn't articulate what he wanted to convey to me. "How am I going to persuade you that what I'm saying is true? El, don't whine so much." With a hand gesture, he continued, "I really appreciate your work, promise, cross my heart." He said something that made me gulp, "That banner you just designed can be your gift for me on my birthday so I can display it in the room."
Is he telling the truth?" I asked myself.
"If you don't want to cry at the end, don't make fun of me like that," I said.
"Why should I cry?" he responds with a smile. Are you going to make me cry? "
I bit my bottom lip as I listened to his remark, but I kept my face neutral. "Yes," I answered, and it was clear from his expression that he was dismayed. I swallowed hard and forced a chuckle. "Yes, I'll make you cry," I continued, "because I'll just give you the banner I designed for your birthday." I can't really say yet. This isn't the proper time cuz my conscience won't let me ruin the delight he's experiencing right now.
When he heard the final word I spoke, his smile returned to his lips. He took a big breath and added, "You make me frightened, El. However, if that's what you're giving me for my birthday, that'll be the finest and most costly gift I'll ever receive," he continued.
"What do you mean when you say it's costlier?" Before eating fries, I clarified that it was only a cartolina paper.
"El, your effort is priceless," he stated. "I will not give it away, even if someone buys it for a billion dollars." What he said warmed my heart, but it wasn't enough to make my stomach flutter. I couldn't help but laugh, but what he said had no effect at all. Laughter was not the same as thrill, and I couldn't experience even a fraction of that excitement.