Chapter 43

I'm currently examining myself in the mirror. I'm wearing a high-cut pair of shoes, a large top, and square slacks. My hair was in a ponytail, and I carried my phone and money in a shoulder bag. It's already past ten o'clock in the evening. I'm also going to buy milk tea at Nanay Lao's café. I didn't even bother texting Jas to let him know I was going to visit him. I'd like to surprise him, and I'm going to his house at mid-night tonight because I'm sure he's already returned from campus.
Eventually, I walked out of the room and drank some water before leaving my apartment. The side of the road has solar street lights and it is not intimidating because the street is peaceful and uncrowded. The bus came by after ten minutes of waiting and I got on when it passed me by on the way to the high way. I sat next to the window on the bus, which had only a few passengers. Even if the moon isn't yet out, it felt great to inhale the cool air as the stars were clearly visible in the sky.
When I arrived in the city, it was easy to get to Nanay Lao's café. I didn't see her, and when I asked the staff where she was, they told me she was at home resting. Besides that, the employees informed me that Nanay Lao only visits the café for a day rather than every night. We haven't seen each other in a few months, and I miss her terribly. I'm glad I met her as at the very least, I now know someone who is a decade older than me. She was also willing to serve me when I needed it, and she advised me not to be afraid to approach her for help if I needed it.
Jas' favorite cake and two slices of milk tea were with me when I left the café. Every night class has already ended at 11:30 p.m., and the students who attend every night class have gone back home. I rode the bus back to his apartment, and if he wasn't there, I'd just wait for him to arrive. What will he think of me when he sees me? I don"t have any idea but I'm hoping he'll be heartened to see me.
On the way home from the bus, I took a walk down the street to his apartment. It wasn't far away, but the chained dogs that I passed were making a lot of noise, so I sped up my pace.
Due to the fact that the light on his balcony was still off, I expected him to be out there. The light on his balcony was still off, he wasn't in his apartment yet, as I expected. Baki's house was not far away; the lights were still on, and someone was urging me to go there to greet Bry. As for Baki, I'm sure she's not at their house because it's on campus as well as Jas, but I don't want to see her.
I'm not sure what that woman's mindset is, so she better not see me. Ivan didn"t know I was here and I didn"t want him to know. For the people around me, this is weird. If you go to someone at midnight, it is not typical in their eyes; even if you go to a friend, they will believe something else. This is the fact; people are quick to evaluate you, and it's difficult to change something you can't control it.
I sat on Jas's apartment's dark balcony, waiting for him to arrive. I was so anxious to see him and I didn't feel drowsy. By now, it's around 1:00 a.m. but he hasn't here so yet. I'm never bored with waiting for him to arrive, but I'm inquisitive as to where he is and I'm not sure if he felt the same way when he went to my place.
The only thing I don't know for sure is whether he's still waiting for me or if he's already left, and I'd like him to go right away rather than waiting for me to arrive.
As I heard a noise, I turned my attention to Baki's house. As soon as their door opened, I was envious and saddened to see from whom the noise had come from. I have no right to be jealous because I prefer someone else over him; I also have no right to be sad because I deserved that I see him happy even if I am not the cause of the smiles on his lips.
Honestly, I deserved this; I deserved to be able to see what I'm seeing now so that I can forget about my feelings for him.
"Where else are you going, Baki?" Jas asked Baki, who was following him from behind him.
Jas's expression changed when Baki followed him to the balcony as they smiled together as they left the house together.
"I'll take you home, Jas," Baki replied. Jas turned to her and the smile on Baki's lips immediately drew.
"You are crazy. That's just my house," Jas stated and pointed to his place. "Go inside. Sleep. Don't take me anymore," he added.
Baki shrugged and said, "All right." She added, "Good night, I hope we don't miss a quiz," and they both chuckled.
Apparently, they don't show up for class. In the meantime, I've been waiting for a person who was just in the other house to appear.
"Okay, it shouldn't be good night, Baki. Aren't you aware that it's morning?" Jas asked.
"Oh, I'm sorry, I forgot," Baki responded, still smiling.
Baki is a cold and mysterious girl but when it comes to Jas, her behavior is very different.
I only see her smile when Jas is in front of her, but she is not like this when she is on campus or in front of her friends. Ivan and Jas are treated extremely differently by her. When she's with Jas, she's smiling, but when she's in front of her friends on campus, she's quiet. She only smiles like this in front of Jas, and even if I don't question why, I already know why she does it.
She clearly likes Jas and it"s surprising that Jas doesn"t notice Baki"s actions when it comes to her campus friends compared to him.
On campus, no one knows Jas, and no one knows they are friends. I don"t knowif it's because Jas doesn't want to be noticed or because Baki doesn't want Jas to be spotted, so she hides the fact that they're friends from everyone.
Baki said, "Sleep well, thanks for the time," and Jas nodded in agreement. Before entering her house again, Baki waved her hand with a smile lingering on her lips.
Jas turned around and began heading towards his apartment. When he sees me here, I'm not sure what he'll think. I felt as if I simply wanted to go home and not show up to him because of twitter.
Even though the ice in the milk tea I bought is certainly to have melted, I'm not sure what the taste is like.
My heartbeat quickened as he approached his apartment, and I tightened my hold on what I was carrying. His balcony was dark and he couldn't see me, even though he was already in his apartment. I don"t know what to say to him; I'm not sure how I'm going to let him know I'm behind him without him being startled.
I coughed a little as he was ready to open the door. He paused for a moment before turning his back on the door and looking at me, as if he was wondering if what he was hearing was just a hallucination. I approached and spoke to him when he finally turned to face me.
I called his name, "Jas."
"El?" he asked, and I smiled and nodded.
As it was so dark surrounding, I'm not sure if he seen me. Since the moon has yet to emerge, Baki's balcony is the only source of light. Before turning his back on me, he remarked, "I can't see you, let's go inside." He walked directly to the door and opened it. He turned on the light of his living room area as well as the light on the balcony so we could see each other. We both had no expression and he spent a few seconds before he spoke. "Come inside, El," he stated.
I nodded and he turned his back at me. I started walking to enter his apartment and I sat on the sofa of the living area. He went to the kitchen and when he returned to the living room, he looked at me while his face still had no expression. I don"t know how he feels, but I can feel the cold treatment he gave to me. Usually, he always smiles at me when we meet back then so it"s hard to feel like we haven"t met for over a month but I can"t see in his eyes that he was looking and he missed me.
I couldn"t smile because I was afraid he would turn his back on me. I couldn"t utter a word because I was nervous that he would ignore me because he hated me. He was just staring at me while his head is tilted and I was surprised because he slowly smiled until he laughed. I"m perplexed on his behavior; I don't know why he's laughing. I didn't do anything to make him laugh so I looked around and when I looked back at him, he stopped laughing and came closer to where I was. He sat down next to me before he took my hold.
"Have you been here so long?" he asked as he get the drinks in the paper bag. I did not immediately answer his question so he shifted his gaze to me. He tilted his head while waiting for my response to his question.
I shook my head and smiled at him. "I just arrived, Jas. I just arrived when I saw you coming into your apartment. Why? Where did you came from?" I asked.
I didn"t tell the truth because I didn"t want him to feel guilt. I'm fine now and I'll be able to forget what I saw before. There is no case against me if I waited because I saw and talked to him now. He looks okay and he's not mad at me so nothing bothers me.
He avoided his gaze from me before he answer. "I came from outside. I didn't go to class because I prefer to relax." I gulped as I heard his answer. I said nothing and forced a smile as he shifted his gaze to me. "I"ll leave you here. I will go to the kitchen and I will get a plate and fork so we can eat what you brought," he added and I nodded.
He left the living room and I immediately gasped. I wonder why he lied; why he didn't say he was from Baki's house. He didn't have to keep it a secret from me because he considered the two of us friends. My mind was interrupted as he hurried back to the living room with two plates and a fork. He sat down next to me again and he himself put a slice of cake on the plate.
When he put it down, he handed it to me and I immediately took it. We ate the food I brought together while no one spoke to us. The taste of milk tea has not changed even though the ice has melted and I am thankful that he likes what I brought to him.
When we finished eating, he brought our plate back into the kitchen and when he returned to the living room, he went straight to his television set. I thought we were going to watch but I thought wrong because he plugged something into the outlet. I didn"t know that thing but I saw it when he turned off the light in the living room.
I was amazed at the stars and moon I saw all around and when he sat beside me, I couldn"t look at him because I was examining all around. I don"t know what to call this light, but I can say that it is fantastic. It's even better than the ones glued to the ceiling of my room that glow in the dark stars and moon.
"You like it?" he asked and I nodded. "I also like it," he added and when I look at him, I caught that he was staring at me.
I smiled and averted my eyes from him. I couldn"t stare at him because I might not be able to control how I felt. I am here to apologize to him; not to fall deeper into him. I want to get up and completely erase my liking for him.
"El, what happened to us?" he asked, breaking the silence between us. "Why? Why do I feel like you're avoiding me?" he added and I can"t do anything than to gulp.
How? How could I forget something I wanted to bury if this was the kind of question he was asking?