Chapter 65

I gulped as I heard what he said in hushed tones, and I couldn't explain why it made me feel heavy. I'm not sure if my beliefs are true, and I'm curious as to why he's changed his amused smile. Perhaps I was correct in my guess that something was bothering him because he was silent, or either he was just exhausted.
I kept my mouth shut and gave him what he wanted. His right hand was on the handlebar, and his left hand was still on my wrist. His grip wasn"t so tight that he seemed to indicate that he wanted me to hug him, but I could remove it if I didn"t want to or if I wasn"t comfortable.
He drives slowly, and as time passes, the number of vehicles on the road decreases. The breeze became much frigid while it was accompanied by silence. Ivan gently took his hand from my wrist and reattached it to the handlebar. I waited for him to say anything, but he didn't, so I was the one who dared to break the stillness between us.
"Are you okay, Ivan?" I inquired, still encircling his waist. I'll give it to him if that's what he wants. I'm not sure whether he'll forgive me if I tell him how I really feel, so I want him to be happy while I'm still waiting for the right moment. I know it's too much for him because I believe everything he says and feels for me is true, but I also want to give myself the happiness I deserve. I won't be happy if I force myself to do something I don't want, and if we're not meant to be, the right person will come along to love him as much as he loves himself.
"Of course," he said after clearing his throat. He paused for a few seconds before continuing. "What were you thinking when you asked me that question?" With a chuckle, he queried.
"You don't seem to be doing well," I said. I knew he was thinking something even if he wouldn't acknowledge it to me, but I had no idea what it was.
"I'm fine, don't worry." If you're concerned with my silence, think I'm exhausted."
"Can you tell me why you came to my place?" "You should go home and rest," I advised. My hypothesis that they drank alcohol in Baki's place is unsubstantiated. I could smell a combination of alcohol and his perfume, but it wasn't the kind of odor that made your head hurt and spin. They may have just had a small amount of alcohol because they were not of legal drinking age. In the beginning, I didn't detect it in him. But, given he has changed a little, I may be correct in my suspicions.
"I went to your apartment because I wanted to see you." He said, "I want us to also celebrate our team's success," and then he came to a halt on his Ducati. As I looked around, I noticed that we had arrived at the port's main gate. Before I got off his big bike, I took my hand off his wais and unlocked the helmet so I could remove it from my head.
He likewise step to the ground when I hand him the helmet, which he then places on the handlebar. When he stares at me emotionlessly, it makes me uneasy, but instead of diverting my sight, I gave him a grin. He immediately averted his eyes and I could clearly see him swallowing.
What is he really thinking?" I asked myself. He'd shown that something was bothering him much more now. Still, if he didn't want to tell me what he was thinking, I wouldn't compel him. I know how to respect someone's decision, and I'm not in the habit of pressuring someone who can't afford to speak up when I first inquire about his situation. Perhaps he can still manage things so he doesn't have to say anything, and I wish he could solve his situation.
He put his arm around my shoulder before we start to enter the port. The half moon came out that I hadn"t seen before, but it wasn"t as bright as when we first came here. No one speaks to each other as we stroll along the beach, and the only sound is the pounding of the waves. There were only a few individuals here; someone was playing, singing, and conversing as wine lay in front of them. They also appear to be here to take a calm break from the grind of everyday life.
Life is so exhausting that it makes me wish to return to my childhood, when I had no idea what was going on around me. We shall see, hear, and learn many things as our time on this planet progresses. I can't comprehend how people who are so destitute financially, a teenager who have early family but they can't afford to care for their fundamental necessities, manage to exist. Maybe I'll go insane in the future as I'm always thinking about other people's struggles, even though I can't fix my own.
When I'm not talking to someone, I have a habit of thinking about different things. I'm with someone now, but he doesn't speak, so that's where my thoughts go. I didn't realize we'd arrived at their beach house's gate until he took his hand off my shoulder to unlock the gate, which jolted me out of my reverie. We went straight to the rooftop of their rest house after entering jointly. After we reached the rooftop, he returned to the second floor, saying he needed to fetch something.
When he returned, he had two folding beds with him, as well as the telescope we had used when We first visited. He began assembling the folding bed, and I instantly observed what he was doing with the second one he had brought.
We sat together after putting the bed together, and no one said anything to each other. Before I spoke, I cleared my throat. "You may rest, Ivan. I'll just wake you up in two hours," I said, smiling.
I felt guilty because I had agreed to accompany him here. I wish I could have just told him to go hone so he could get some rest. Maybe his body is already fatigued and his eyelid is too heavy because the tiredness from playing before has now poured through his body. I didn't mind if he slept while I gazed at the ocean or the stars in the sky, so I offered my option.
"Are you sure?" he asked, and I responded with a nod. "I'm fine with 30 minutes of sleep; 2 hours is too much, so wake me up after 30 minutes. My vigor will return when I wake up, I promise." He continued, "I'm sorry if I'm not talking to you; it's because the mild alcoholic beverages we had earlier were a little effective to me."
Before I respond, I chuckle. I wasn't wrong when I think it before, "I guess you have a low tolerance." He only shrugged in answer. "Go ahead and nap," I said, "and I'll just wake you up." I lie down and imitated his stance of facing up into the sky with his intertwined palms resting on his belly. Before I gazed at the skies, his eyes were closed, but as he spoke, I returned my sight to him.
While his eyes were still closed, he said, "Don't get lost on Saturday, El."
"What exactly do you mean? Why? What's going on this Saturday? " I questioned.
As the curve on his lips drew, he slowly opened his eyes. "It is my birthday."