Semi Awares

KAIDEN'S POV

I had sensed her presence way before she appeared in my line of sight.

My werewolf instincts had picked up her scent the moment she was within a few miles of where I was sparring with the tree trunk.

The fresh morning air had graciously carried her delicate fragrance to me.

I was actually getting familiar with her scent, her mix of wildflowers and something uniquely hers.

It was a scent that had become quite disturbingly familiar over the past few weeks.

I couldn't stop it though. She was always everywhere, in the dinner room, at the corridors, at the stable, ah and last night, we were just so close to each other.


I continued to pummel the tree trunk, and I continued to pretend to not have noticed her, while I enjoyed having her watch me.

It was no longer difficult to act like I was oblivious to her presence; I'd become quite good at hiding and masking my true feelings.

But I couldn't ignore the way her eyes remained on me, the intensity of it was hitting a spot in my heart that I wasn't used to acknowledging.


Shit, what was she doing? I wondered as I still felt her eyes on me.


She was watching me, I could feel it. I could very well feel her eyes tracing every single movement that my body made, every damned flex of my muscles.


It was supposed to have irritated me—her ogling—but instead, I found myself...enjoying it.


What the hell was wrong with me?

I almost lost my shit and told her to get lost, to stop staring at me like that, but instead I kept calm.

I took a deep breath and at that moment I could feel the familiar rise of anger and irritation, but now I chose and channeled it into my strikes.

But even as I did, I decided to get naughty and so I flexed my muscles a little more, exaggerating my movements for her benefit and her eyes.

It was indeed a childish thing to do, you could say, but it made me feel powerful in a way I couldn't quite explain.

When finally my eyes met with hers I held her eyes for a while, while I imagined too many scenarios in my head of the possibilities of the things I would have loved to do with her if ours were a normal marriage that wasn't tied to sentiments and the likes.

I wanted to believe that she was as real as I wanted. And so I fantasized and imagined a whole lot of things in my head.

Things I would rather take to my grave than let her know that I thought about her.

Soon she was the first person to remove her eyes from me and I did the same as I blinked. I saw as she turned briskly and walked away like she was determined to leave, as if I was chasing her.


Pft, pathetic, I thought as I watched her go. I stood there and I watched her leave, while standing and looking at her retreating figure for a while, my fists were still pressed against the battered tree trunk.

She had the most beautiful behind and I could no longer stop myself from staring at her back as she went her way.


If only things had been different.....I trailed.

If only she was different and we had met under different circumstances. If only it were so, then maybe, just maybe things would have been a whole lot different between us.


Who knew, maybe we would have been a whole lot different and she would probably be pregnant by now. But things weren't and shit was crappy.

I could feel my heart pounding heavily in my chest, the blood kept rushing and rushing through my veins. I could feel the adrenaline flowing through my veins and I frankly couldn't tell whether it was because she had her eyes on me or because I was punching at the battered tree trunk.


I knew very well that I was being harsh on her. Every single time I saw her, I felt a whole lot of emotions at one time that I simply couldn't untangle.

Anger, frustration, a strange sort of protectiveness, and something else—something deeper that I didn't want to talk about or admit just yet.

It was easier to push her away, to keep her at arm's length.

But then again there was the kiss. The kiss we shared last night had turned everything upside down inside me and completely.

I couldn't stop thinking about it, I replayed it over and over in my mind.

The way her lips had felt against mine, so soft, plum and warm. The taste of her was sweet and intoxicating.

It made my stomach flutter with butterflies.
I punched the tree trunk one last time, harder than before, and then I took instinctive steps backwards, I was breathing so heavily.

Shit!

What was I doing? I was supposed to be the strong one, the unfeeling one. I couldn't afford to let my guard down, not now, not ever.

I walked away from the tree, while my thoughts remained a complete mess.

I needed to clear my head, to focus on something else.

I found myself heading back towards the pack house, my feet instantly moved on their own accord. The morning was still quite young, the sun was barely above the horizon.

The pack house was quiet, most of the members still asleep or just waking up. I needed to find a way to get her out of my head, to regain control of my emotions.

I walked to my study and I chose to keep myself busy in order to not have to think about her because she was too much of a temptation and I didn't want to give her that.

She was getting to me so much. She was getting on my mind in more ways than one.