Mine Alone

Kaiden's POV

It was becoming freaking annoying by the moment. I couldn't get her out of my head, no matter how hard I tried. Even as I paced back and forth in my chambers, my mind kept circling back to her.



Why? I couldn't tell. What was the reason I felt bothered?


I wasn't supposed to be bothered. I wasn't even supposed to be thinking about her often. More often than I was supposed to. She meant nothing to me.


My mind went back to her once again. To Lilian. The way she looked at me tonight, the way she spoke, it was all driving me insane.




Who the hell was this person she was with? The question kept ringing in my mind.



I had asked her, I had even demanded an answer, but all I got was her defiance. She never backed down, never broke her stance. She chose to keep it away from me. Instead, she crossed her arms over her chest, stared me straight in the eyes, and refused to answer. It drove me to the fucking edge.



But I simply could not bring myself to push her too far. Not again. The last time I lost control, I was drunk and ended up forcing myself on her. If that's what I would call it.



She had every right to hate me, to see me as the monster that I was in that moment.



That memory still burned in my mind, and that was why I had chosen to leave when she had demanded that I did so. She had asked me to leave her chambers tonight, and I had obliged—reluctantly—because...I couldn't even fucking tell why!


But damn it, I still needed to know. Who the hell was she hanging around with? Huh?


Who was this person that had her so distracted, so secretive?


It ate at me, gnawed at my insides like a feral beast. I couldn't rest, I just couldn't think straight until I knew.


I ran a finger through my hair and tried to steady my thoughts. My anger was threatening to take over me. I couldn't allow that to happen, not again. I had to stay in control.



But the damned control was slipping away. I could feel it, like sand through my fingers.
I took a deep breath and stared out the window, at the moon and at the vast mass of land that was the Blue Moon pack.


My land.


My pack. And she was my Luna, whether she liked it or not. That fact alone should have been enough to make her answer me, to obey me. But Lilian wasn’t like any other Luna. She was fire and steel, defiant and strong-willed, and that was part of what was beginning to draw me to her. It was also what drove me mad.




The image of her standing there, defiant and beautiful in her nightdress, the way her chest rose and fell with every breath, was seared into my mind. I could still feel the warmth of her skin beneath my fingers when I had grabbed her arm.


The way she had looked at me when she asked me to leave… there was no fear in her eyes. No submission. Just that damned defiance!


Shit!
It was fucking intoxicating and infuriating all at once.
I clenched my fists, as I tried to shake off the tension in my muscles. I couldn’t go on like this, teetering on the edge of control every time I was around her.



But then again, how could I calm the storm that raged within me? How could I silence the questions that screamed for answers?



Lilian was for sure hiding something from me. I could feel it in my bones. And it wasn’t just about this mysterious person she had been with. There was something deeper, something darker that she wasn’t telling me. I had seen the way she looked at Henrik during the feast.


There was a shadow in her eyes, a secret buried deep within her that she refused to let out.



And I needed to know what it was.
Without thinking, I found myself heading towards her chambers. Yeah, again. I knew this was reckless, but I couldn't control it. The need to confront her, to demand answers, was too strong to ignore.



But as I reached her door, I stopped and my hand hovered just inches from the handle. My heart pounded in my chest, and for a moment, I hesitated.




What was I doing? Was I really going to force this issue now? After everything that had happened, was I really going to push her again?



I took a deep breath and I tried to calm the anger inside me. I had to think this through. Barging in there, demanding answers, wouldn’t get me what I wanted.



Lilian would only shut me out further. I needed to approach this differently.
As I turned to leave, I heard a soft noise from inside her chambers. My heart skipped a beat, and before I could stop myself, I pressed my ear against the door. It was quiet for a moment, and then I heard it again—a faint sound, almost like a sigh.




Was she?.......Was she dreaming?
The thought of her lying there in her bed and being vulnerable in her sleep, stirred something deep inside of me. I could recognize it as a protective instinct that I couldn't quite shake off.



I badly wanted to break down the doors and go in, to watch over her, to make sure she was safe. But I knew that was out of my line.



Still, I couldn't bring myself to walk away. Not yet.



I stood there and listened to the soft sounds of her as she breathed and I tried to piece together the fragments of my thoughts. She was in my head, under my skin, in a way that no one else had ever been.



And it scared the hell out of me.
I dreaded to think of what this meant for the both of us. Could I be....?
I shook my head no.



No way in hell was I beginning to fall for her. She was after all one among a whole lot of people I should not bring too close or even trust.