Confused state

Lilian’s POV

The sun was well into the sky by the time I dragged myself out of bed, but my body still felt heavy, as if it was resisting the new day.


My mind was a mess, clouded by the remnants of last night’s dream, a vivid experience that clung to me like a shadow.


I couldn’t shake it, the images of Kaiden and Jael entwined with me, their touches, their words… It was all too much.




I went through the motions of the morning—dressing, brushing my hair, trying to compose myself—but it was useless.


My thoughts kept drifting back to that dream, my face heating up every time I recalled the way they had looked at me, the way they had touched me. By the time I was supposed to meet Kaiden for lunch, I was a nervous wreck.




I took a deep breath before entering the dining hall, hoping that I could keep myself together. I hadn’t seen Kaiden since the night before, and the thought of facing him now made my stomach twist in knots. How could I look him in the eye after dreaming of something so… intimate?




When I stepped into the room, Kaiden was already there, seated at the table, waiting for me.



He looked up as I approached, and the warmth in his gaze made my heart skip a beat.



He was always so composed, so effortlessly in control, and here I was, blushing like a schoolgirl because of a dream.



“Good afternoon, Lilian,” he greeted, his voice as smooth and deep as always.



I forced a smile, trying to act normal, but I could feel the heat creeping up my neck.


“Good afternoon, Kaiden,” I replied, my voice betraying the nervousness I was trying so hard to hide.



We sat down, and the servants brought out the food, but my appetite was nowhere to be found. I kept my eyes on my plate, trying to focus on anything but the memory of that dream.



But every time I glanced up at Kaiden, I could feel the blood rushing to my face, my heart pounding in my chest.



What the hell was wrong with me?
He was my mate, the one person I should feel comfortable with, but the dream had thrown everything into disarray. It wasn’t just that I had dreamt of him—it was that Jael had been there too, and the feelings that had stirred within me… They were confusing.....and overwhelming.



Kaiden noticed, of course. He was too perceptive not to. I could see the curiosity in his eyes as he watched me, his brow furrowing slightly as if he was trying to figure out what was going on in my head.


“Is something wrong, Lilian?” he asked, his tone gentle but probing.


I shook my head quickly, too quickly.
“No, nothing’s wrong,” I said, my voice higher than usual. I knew I wasn’t convincing anyone, least of all Kaiden.



He raised an eyebrow, his gaze searching mine. “You seem… distracted,” he said carefully. “Is there something on your mind?”





I could feel my cheeks burning, and I wished I could just disappear. How could I possibly explain this to him? “I’m just… tired,” I said vaguely, hoping he would drop it. “I didn’t sleep well last night.”




That wasn’t a lie, at least. I hadn’t slept well, but it was the dream that had kept me restless, not the lack of sleep.


Kaiden didn’t look convinced. He leaned forward slightly, his eyes never leaving mine. “You know you can tell me anything, right? If something’s bothering you, I want to help.”



His sincerity only made me feel worse. He was being so kind, so understanding, and here I was, hiding this ridiculous dream from him. I looked down at my plate, poking at the food with my fork, trying to find the right words.



“It’s nothing,” I said finally, my voice barely above a whisper. “Just… a weird dream.”



“A dream?” Kaiden repeated, his interest piqued. “What kind of dream?” he asked.



I hesitated, not sure how much I should say. The last thing I wanted was to make things awkward between us, but I couldn’t deny that the dream had unsettled me.



“It was just… strange,” I said, my voice faltering. “It didn’t make much sense.” I said.



Kaiden’s expression softened, a small smile tugging at the corners of his lips.



"Dreams don’t always have to make sense, Lilian,” he said gently. “But if it’s bothering you, maybe talking about it would help?” he asked.




I felt a pang of guilt at his words. He was trying to be supportive, to understand, and here I was, being vague and evasive. But how could I possibly explain a dream like that? How could I tell him that I had dreamt of him—and Jael—without it sounding… wrong?



“It was just a dream,” I repeated, trying to brush it off. “Nothing to worry about.”


Kaiden watched me for a long moment, as if weighing my words, trying to gauge what I wasn’t saying. I could see the concern in his eyes, the way he wanted to push further, but he held back.




“Alright,” he said finally, though I could tell he wasn’t entirely satisfied with my answer. “But if you want to talk about it later, I’m here.” he said.




I nodded my head, grateful that he wasn’t pressing the issue. But the truth was, I didn’t know if I could talk about it.



The dream had left me feeling confused, unsettled, and the last thing I wanted was to bring Jael into the conversation. Why had he been in the dream at all? He was a stranger to me, someone I barely knew, and yet, there he was, tangled up in my mind alongside Kaiden.



And this was the freaking second time Jael was appearing in my dreams.


As we continued our lunch, I did my best to keep the conversation light, focusing on the present instead of the numbing effects of the dream.



But it wasn’t easy. Every time Kaiden looked at me, I felt the blush rising in my cheeks again, the memory of that dream hovering at the edges of my thoughts.



Why had I dreamt of them like that? And what did it mean?



The questions kept swirling in my mind, and I knew I wouldn’t find answers anytime soon. All I could do was try to push the thoughts away, to focus on the reality in front of me. But even as I did, the memory of the dream remained, it hauntingly reminded me of the desires I didn’t fully understand.




And as I sat there with Kaiden, pretending everything was normal, I wondered what he would think if he knew the truth—if he knew what I had dreamt about last night.


Would he be angry? Jealous? Or would he understand the confusion that had taken root in my heart?
One thing was certain—I wasn’t ready to find out.