16. Learn how to shift
Lucy
“Take off your dress,” Tony said. “Close your eyes and imagine yourself as a wolf.”
I closed my eyes, wrinkling my nose at the thought. I pulled the dress over my head and tried to focus on what he was talking about.
It was cold. That was about all I felt. I was naked. I was embarrassed to just be standing in the middle of the forest naked. I wrapped my arms around myself as I started to shiver.
“Search for the power that’s in you,” he said. “It’s much easier than you think it is if you just relax and let it come to you.”
I tried, but I didn’t feel anything. I felt nothing but cold.
I listened to the forest and the sound of them nearby, but still, I felt nothing.
I opened my eyes after a while as Matt took a step and turned back into his human form. He frowned.
“Maybe you’re thinking too hard,” Matt said. “Just relax. It’s really easy.”
Tony’s gaze remained on me as I tried again, but I felt nothing. I sighed and looked down.
“I don’t think I can do it.”
Matt walked to me. “It’s just the first night. You’ve never even known that you weren’t human until recently. Maybe it’ll just take some time.”
I wanted to be comforted by that. He took me into his arms and kissed me.
“Since we’re already naked….”
He lifted me and walked me back against a tree. I had never imagined ever having sex in a forest, but Matt was insistent, pushing into me and having his way with me up against the tree. Over his shoulder, I saw Tony. He wasn’t watching. He seemed to be deep in thought.
Matt carried me back to the house naked. Luckily, no one was nearby. No one even seemed to notice we were gone.
“We’ll try again tomorrow,” Tony said.
We tried every night, and every night it was the same. I’d try to figure out what they were talking about. I’d fail, and we’d have sex in the clearing. I was starting to think that maybe it was just an excuse to have sex outside.
After we came back, we got into Tony’s bed. Tony pulled me close, stroking my hair.
“Don’t give up,” Matt said into my shoulder. “Maybe… Maybe it’ll just take longer.”
I blinked. “Why do I have to learn how to shift?”
Tony sighed. “Because the other lunas won’t respect you, let alone the other alphas… It would be different if you were human.”
“Why?” I frowned. “Is that a thing? Humans being a werewolf’s mate?”
“It happens,” Tony said lightly. “It’s the only way you’re possible.”
I frowned. “What do you mean?”
“Werewolves can’t have children with anyone but their mates,” Tony said.
I blinked and thought back to those women who bullied me at the bar.
“Were… those women werewolves?”
“Yes”
Matt scoffed. “No, they never thought we were mates. Even the few human lovers we’ve had know better than to try and get pregnant.”
I said nothing. Somehow, I didn’t believe that was exactly true.
In the morning, Matt and Tony were gone, and I spent all day trying to feel what they were telling me I should, but still, I felt nothing.
My eyes burned with frustration. Tears rushed down my cheeks, and I couldn’t explain why. Matt was right. Before I met them, I had no idea that werewolves existed. I was only half. Maybe it was ridiculous to think that I would be able to shift.
Besides, did I need them to respect me? Who was I? Was the Blue Moon Pack that important?
Wouldn’t that mean they needed a better luna?
“What’s wrong?”
I gasped and looked up as Matt stood in the doorway. My eyes widened, and I tried to hide my tears. In a flash of movement, he crossed the room and gathered me in his arms.
“What happened? Was someone mean to you?”
I shook my head.
“Did you hurt yourself?”
I shook my head again.
“What is it, Lucy?”
I looked up at him. “... I don’t feel anything.”
Matt frowned, and his eyes softened. “Silly. You’re worried about nothing.”
“I’m just going to cause trouble for you.”
“You’re our mate,” Matt said .”You can’t cause trouble for us. That’s not something you have to worry about.”
He smirked and pushed me to lie beneath him as he leaned over me and licked his lips.
“Forget shifting,” Matt said. “If it happens, great. If not, there are so many other ways you can help… like right now. I’ve been thinking about you all day….”
My face heated, but I let him kiss me. It felt nice to know that even though I couldn’t shift, that I felt nothing, that he still wanted me. Matt pulled my clothes off quickly and thrust into me.
“You’re getting used to this,” he said softly, kissing me gently. “You’re so soft and pliant for me.”
He groaned and thrust harder, shaking the bed as he pushed into me. I clung to him.
“Do you like it?”
“Yes.”
Matt chuckled and licked at the wound he’d left on my neck from the ceremony. It didn’t hurt anymore. I didn’t feel anything from it either, but he really liked nibbling on the bite mark.
“You smell so good,” Matt groaned. “You feel good too.”
I don’t know how long we had sex, but it didn’t matter.
“Matt!” Tony yelled as he came through the door, just as I cried out and came, shaking beneath him.
Matt turned back, pushing his hair at his face.
“She was sad.”
Tony scoffed and came around the bed. “Even if she was blissfully happy, you would be in the same position.”
Matt pulled out of me and lifted me into his arms. He turned me around to face Tony and spread my legs. I trembled, but I didn’t try to close my legs. Tony stared at me. His eyes glowed in the low light as he loosened his tie.
“Are you really going to waste time scolding me when our mate is sad?” Matt asked.
He smiled and pulled his tie from around his neck.
“No,” he said and unbuttoned his pants. He pulled me out of Matt’s arms. “I’ll scold you later.”
Tony kissed me and pulled me down onto his cock with one smooth push. I wrapped my arms around him and sighed.
He stroked my back. “We’ll figure it out, Lucy. Don’t stress about it.”
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