225
Lucy
I was taken aback. Apologize? What on earth could he have to apologize for? Did he regret the kiss, maybe? I bit my lip as my stomach started to plummet.
"You've been through a lot," David said stiffly. "Between the twins and everything, I didn't intend to cross a line or make you uncomfortable. I... shouldn't have kissed you."
"Shouldn't have?"
"If I'd known it would make you uncomfortable with me, I wouldn't have."
I blinked at him and smiled, warmed and put at ease by his words. Tentative and trying to be brave, I took his free hand in mine. He was stiff looking down at me but seemed to relax a little as I squeezed his hand.
"There's no need to apologize, David," I said earnestly. "You've done nothing wrong."
He tightened his hand on mine. I met his gaze. His eyes were searching mine with. His eyes were filled with apprehension and doubt.
"You're right that I've been through a lot, and it's... changed me, but I don't want your apologies. I don't want you to get the wrong idea that I'm... afraid of you or anything."
"You flinched. I thought--"
"Static shock," I said, grinning at him. " Or magic shock? I'm not sure, really, but I'm fine. Okay?"
He narrowed his eyes at me, and I squeezed his hand.
"I'm not... Well, my time with Tony and Matt might always haunt me in some way, but I was getting further and further away from that every day. I promise, I, at least, know that if I said I didn't want you to touch me, you wouldn't."
David nodded and said nothing for a moment.
"If you ever need space," David said. "I want you to know that you can always say so in whatever way is easiest for you."
I smiled up at him. "Thank you, David. I appreciate your understanding. I'm still not afraid of you, okay?"
He nodded. I looked up at him and bit my lip. "But..."
"But?" He asked, cocking an eyebrow at me.
My stomach trembled with what I wanted to say. The space between us seemed to hum with his warmth and everything I should say.
"If you regretted it..." I looked away. "I'd understand, given--"
He tugged at my hand until I looked up at him.
"Never in any life," he whispered smiling at me. "Never. And don't ever think that what has happened to you has ever changed my view of you."
He smirked. "I'd still make you a crown of flowers any day of the week."
My eyes burned as I remembered us as children and his Wednesday, Friday, and Saturday flower crowns.
"Why only those days?"
"You were always saddest those days," he said. "That caretaker, Mr. Thomas took over lessons those days."
I wrinkled my nose remembering. "Right. I really didn't like him. He was the absolute worst."
I laughed. "I loved them, even if they wilted within a day."
"I only wanted to cheer you up."
I bit my lip. "You really didn't regret it?"
"No, and I'd do it again in a heartbeat."
I gazed into those deep, caring eyes of his, and I realized that my fears had been unfounded. David's words were just his concern. My heart swelled with affection for him.
"Me either," I said. "A-Actually, I, well, I wanted..."
My face heated. It felt like I was on fire.
"Well, it was all so... And I just... It made me realize just how much I care about you."
The words felt stupid and wrong as they came out. I felt like an idiot. Why were words so hard to say, especially when I meant them so much? Why didn't I have the words I wanted to say either? He twined our hands together. His lips curved into a gentle smile, and I could see the relief in his eyes.
"Lucy, I care about you deeply, too. More than I can put into words."
We stood there for a moment, our unspoken emotions hanging in the air like a sweet, unspoken promise. It made me feel a little braver, a little more settled, and ready to say what I should.
"There's another but..."
He grinned. "You hate my cooking?"
I laughed. "No. I just want to be honest with you."
"That's all I want."
"I... want more."
"More?"
"Well, I think more," I shuffled my feet. "I'm not sure how to describe it. I really... wanted you to kiss me, even when we kept getting interrupted."
"Your neighbors are going to be the death of me."
I wrinkled my nose. "Me too, even though I know they don't mean any harm... I guess, I'm not sure what happens next."
"Next?"
I glanced up at him, worrying my lip and wondering how much to tell him. How much could I manage to say? I could barely admit it to myself most days. My time with Matt and Tony was so much of a blur, but I knew that I hadn't even been on a date, really. I knew that when either of them kissed me it was going to lead right to sex and I didn't want that with David.
To be fair, I didn't know what I wanted, and it scared me not being able to say anything. I looked up at David hoping he would understand. His eyes were warm and gentle. He lifted my hand and placed a kiss on my knuckles.
"Whenever you want to talk about what happened then, I'll want to hear it, even if you don't want me to kick in their door and beat the shit out of them."
I blinked, imagining it. "Please don't. I don't want you to get in trouble..."
"No one but us would know," he grinned. "I promise, and if you change your mind it's on the table. Always. Aside from that, I can guess knowing what kind of people they are, and you should know that I am nothing like them."
"I didn't mean that you were--"
"Easy," he hushed. "That's not what I'm saying. I know your head knows that, but the rest of you doesn't. Not yet. I want more too, but not at the expense of what you want, you understand?"
I nodded, still unsure. "It's all so new to me, and I'm not entirely sure what happens next."
David nodded, his expression understanding. "I'm not sure what you're thinking about me, but this isn't exactly run of the mill for me either. Our connection, this... whatever it is we have, it's unlike anything I've ever experienced before. And it's perfectly okay to be unsure about what comes next. We can take things at our own pace, together."
I smiled, grateful for his reassuring words. "Yeah?"
"Absolutely. For one, I haven't gotten my doorstep kiss yet."
I laughed as he turned and fell into step with me. "Is that the top of the list?"
"Definitely. Right up there with a proper date: flowers, chocolate, the works. We haven't made it to Valentine's Day, yet, or Christmas. Gifts, Lucy. You know at least seventy percent of shifter courting is showering people in shows of affection."
I laughed as he swung our arms. "What does that look like?"
"In the beginning?" He wrinkled his nose. "Probably fresh kills. Blood elk and stuff, but now? New shoes, maybe."
My eyes widened as he grinned at me. "Covered in butterflies... A cute head band. A necklace you love... Slow dancing at a restaurant that you'll want to go back to all the time. A sailing date, maybe? I have plans, Lucy."
I laughed. "All of that, huh?"
"And more," he said spinning me around and pulling me close. The heat of his body sent shivers down my spine. "And even more when you're ready. We won't do anything you're not comfortable with. We'll figure out our own pace. Together, hm?"
As I looked into his eyes, I knew that he meant every word. With David by my side, I felt a newfound sense of courage and excitement about the journey that lay ahead of us. I lifted up on my toes and kissed his cheek. He smiled at me like I was the sun and his eyes started to glow purple.
"Sounds great," I said. "I can't wait."
"Me either." He grinned, a mischievous glint in his eyes. "So, what do you say to a real date sometime soon? I pick you up at your place? We sit at a place that's too nice for college students and eat food that's too expensive and not good, laugh, probably go get late-night tacos after?"
I laughed. "Why wouldn't we just go to the late-night tacos place?"
"Oh, because that's part of the experience." He grinned and kissed my forehead. "And I'd never want to cheat you on the experience."
He pressed his forehead to mine. "It's all part of the fun."
I smiled. There was fear still churning my stomach, but it felt distant. David pulled back. "For now, how about a ride home?"
"How about dinner first?" I asked, hopefully. "I think it's about time I try your favorite tacos?"
He grinned. "It's a bit of a drive, but I promise it won't disappoint."
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