90
Tony
Matt turned and stomped out leaving me reeling there alone with his words. The anger in me was still boiling, but I couldn’t block out his words. He was…. He was right.
We didn’t know. How could we know that dad would come back even remotely sane? How could we know if we weren’t just a few steps behind him in sanity?
I shuddered and sank into my seat. The silence of the study felt so heavy that I couldn’t move. The pain potions faded and the pain returned. The exhaustion of having waited up all night for Matt, flipping through the journals was dragging at me. A knock sounded on the door.
“Come in.”
The door opened and our nanny walked in with a tray of hot chocolate and most of breakfast. She entered the room with a gentle smile. There was also a stack of bandages on the tray.
I couldn’t help but smile weakly back at her.
"Tony, my dear, it's time to change your bandages," she said softly. “No one else is brave enough and that doctor is still pretending to be in the right. I do hope the Council will come to its senses and get us a werewolf healer.”
I chuckled. “If only it was that easy. Thank you.”
I shrugged out of my shirt, hissing as I reclined on the couch. I sighed as she worked on getting the bandages replaced.
“Isn’t it strange? “She said as she began to apply antiseptic. I flinched. “When you were young, it was you who was always fussing about injuries… now you barely flinch.”
“I got stronger.”
She chuckled. “Matt still fusses like a baby.”
I bobbed my head, unsure of what I could say.
“I’m sure you’ll be happier when your luna is here to tend these wounds for you both,” she said.
I caught her hand. She tilted her head. “What’s wrong, dear?”
“Matt…. Thinks she won’t come back.”
She blinked. “She’s young. I don’t think luna etiquette will take that long.”
I shook my head. “She’s… she’s not at luna etiquette.”
Her hands went to her mouth and she went pale. “What… What happened?”
I told her about her going missing at the party, then Matt going out to be with Sara, but I didn’t tell her about dad or the law suit.
She sighed. “Matt… has always been like that. You won’t hold it against him, will you?”
“What if he’s right?” I asked. “That… that the time is ticking and we were wrong?”
The fear of one day being so out of my mind that I would kill most of my pack made me shudder.
“I don't know what the future holds. But I do know that we need to find some stability in our lives. We need to find love, connection, something that grounds us and keeps us from spiraling into darkness, and that’s what mates are."
I licked my lip. “We… It’s so complicated. Way more complicated than anything we’ve ever been told about.”
“Do you think finding a lover will solve everything? That it will magically fill the void you’re feeling and make it easier?"
I shook my head. "No, it won't solve everything. But it might bring us some semblance of peace. I just… wonder if I’m being too hard on him. I've been so focused on our responsibilities to the pack, but I’ve never thought about the dangers that lurk within us seriously. We’ve been doing what we please for so long.”
“A lot has happened to you both at such a young age,” she said. “It’s been an honor and privilege to care for you and Matt. You both hold a special place in my heart. You have a lot to contend with, but don’t you think you deserve happiness too? Children and love? A future?"
The thought made my heart clench and I nodded. She pulled me into her eyes.
“You’ve been carrying the pack for so long, Tony. It’s okay. I'm not asking you to forget what has happened and what needs to be done. I'm asking you to remember that you’re both teetering on the edge. You need to find some semblance of balance before you lose yourselves completely. You've always been the level-headed one, Tony. He needs you to help him navigate these treacherous waters."
I took a deep breath and nodded. The familiarity of her words made the tension ease out of me.
“You're right, and in some ways, he’s right too. We can't keep going like this. We need to find some stability, some form of connection to keep us grounded."
“You will.” She chuckled. “How could any woman, werewolf or not, want to be apart from you for anything less than her survival?”
She pat my hand. “As soon as you know for certain that our den is safe for her, that she’s truly safe from everything that could hurt her, she’ll come back.”
“You really… believe that?”
She smiled. “I really do.”
I frowned, her words felt reassuring, but the doubt still existed.
“How can you be so sure, Maria? It feels like she's gone forever, like we've lost her. Matt seems so sure… He didn’t… He didn’t feel guilty at all."
“You’re alphas, dear. You have needs. No alpha would feel guilty for seeing his needs met if his luna wasn’t available. Do you expect you and Matt to simply go without sex when Lucy gets pregnant?”
I frowned, nodding. I hadn’t thought about that really. “I guess I didn’t think of it that way.”
“The bond between fated mates is a powerful thing. It goes beyond the physical and reaches into the depths of the soul. I've seen it before, in my many years of serving this pack, including with your parents." I gasped and looked at her.
There were tears in her eyes. They looked about ready to fall.
"Lucy is your fated mate, and you two are hers. That connection cannot be easily broken. It is rooted in a deep sense of belonging and love. Trust in the bond that you share, even when you aren’t sure of it. Your instincts led you to her. Trust them."
I tried to believe those words, but it was hard. Matt’s expression, the lack of feeling, the fact that she just vanished felt too heavy to just be dismissed.
"What if she never comes back? What if she's moved on, or she's found someone else? We don’t know where she is. We can’t contact her or find her."
She shook her head. “You can’t give up, Tony. Love like yours is not easily replaced. Fated mates may face challenges and even separation, but the pull that brings them together is stronger than any distance. Lucy will feel that pull, just as you do. She’s only a half-breed so it may take longer, but she will feel it. She will return to you when the time is right."
When the time is right. I took a deep breath and nodded. With dad coming soon, the time wasn’t really right. Not until that was settled.
"Thank you. I think you’re right,” I set my jaw. “There are a lot of things to be done to make sure that when the time is right that she’ll be safe enough to have our pups and stay. I’ll talk to Matt again, and we’ll… We’ll figure this out, and soon, she’ll be back to where she belongs."
She smiled. "That's the spirit, Tony. Love and trust are powerful forces. Have patience and faith. In due time, Lucy will be back by your side, where she truly belongs."
I glanced at our nanny, who covered her mouth as tears welled in her eyes. She sniffled and wiped her eyes.
“Sorry. It’s just… This reminds me of your parents and… I never wanted this for you,” she sniffled again. “I hope that whoever thought to take her from us suffers for it.”
I nodded. “They will.”
She stood. “Get some more rest soon, Tony. You need it to heal properly.”
She kissed my head then left. I wanted to hold onto the confidence she’d left in me, but with her gone, it seemed like it left with her.
Could I go back to sleeping around? If I did, would I feel nothing the way Matt had?
I drank the hot chocolate and tried not to think about it. When the cup was empty, I headed toward my room. I put my phone on do not disturbed and prayed to the goddess that no one would wake me so I could get some decent sleep.
Are you okay? Matt asked.
I’m not giving up on her, Matt, I said as I crawled into bed. Something led us to her, and until we’re for sure that there’s nothing there… I can’t give up.
I felt a wave of understanding come through as I closed my eyes.
Get some rest, Tony. I love you.
I love you too, Matt. My lips twitched. Even if you are a brat.
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