207
Matt
I slipped through the dimly lit hallway of the nondescript building, my footsteps barely making a sound on the worn carpet. The flickering overhead lights cast eerie shadows as I moved quickly down the hallway. It felt like every shadow was someone waiting to jump out and attack me. My heart was racing with paranoia. My heart felt like it was in my throat. I should have just remained hungry, damn it. As I approached the door marked 202, I fumbled with my keys. Once. Twice--dropped them and tried again. When I finally got inside, I sucked in a deep breath. I locked the door behind me, my hands trembling slightly. It wasn't just the fear of being discovered by Oren or his loyal subjects that had me on edge.
It was this feeling, like a warning from beyond the grave, whispers from the universe, or something, that had me nervous to do anything.
I had barely left the hotel since I'd gotten the room, and sometimes, I considered never leaving it.
I'd had better days, but I couldn't think of worse ones. My head was pounding. I hadn't been able to keep anything down. Sleeping had become harder and harder.
Ginevra being in the hospital, was turning Tony into a jittery mess. I didn't know why, but I had a feeling I'd find out.
I kicked myself every day she was in the hospital. I could have healed her, and we wouldn't be in this situation.
Or I would be dead...
I shuddered, sitting on the couch, not even bothering to turn on the light. It was better that way. Easier. Safer.
I couldn't take chances. I dropped the bag on the table, shuddering. Screw it. I wasn't leaving the room again if I didn't have to.
A knock sounded on the door. I went still, barely breathing and straining my hearing to listen to who it was before I said anything. Then, my phone rang. I answered.
"Matt, open the door."
Opening the door, I looked up at Dagon. His eyes flicked over me as I opened the door, his expression unreadable. Then, his gaze softened into something more concerned. I don't know how I got to the point where I was inviting him to this place, but I was grateful to see him. His expression was serious and concerned.
"Hey," I greeted, my voice gruffer than intended.
Dagon nodded in acknowledgment. "You look worse. Mind if I come in?"
I stepped back to allow him entry, huddling in my hoodie and glancing down the hallway.
"Relax. I wasn't followed." He yanked me back into the room and closed the door. Then, he sighed and sank onto the couch.
"As I said, you look worse. What part of—"
"I can't," I cut in. I sighed, rubbing the back of my neck. "It's a mess, Dagon. Oren's actions, the pack's response—it's all becoming too much."
"What could have happened that you've lost... twenty? Thirty pounds since the last time I saw you?"
"Oren had Ginevra attacked." His eyes widened. "She's in the hospital in a coma because Tony bit her on the full moon to try and save her."
He narrowed his eyes. "You know that if you had tried to heal her, you might have ended up dead?"
My jaw trembled. "I keep telling myself that, but I don't--can't believe it."
I didn't want to believe it.
"You believe Oren is psychotic?"
"Yes."
"Then, believe me when I say the fewer people, especially werewolves, who know you have magic, the better off you'll be unless you plan to join his crusade for werewolf domination?"
"I... I'll try." I clasped my hands together. "I still don't understand why... How I have magic. I don't think Tony has magic."
I scoffed. "He would have told me."
"You're sure about that?"
"Positive. Tony's a mess, and he's freaking the hell out about the fact that our mind link doesn't work anymore. I don't have an answer for that either. "
Dagon tilted his head for a moment before nodding. "Have you given any further thought about the offer?"
Refuge. Safety. Everything in me said it was a good idea, but leaving Tony in that mess…
"This is about Tony," Dagon said. "You can't save someone who doesn't want to be saved."
I shook my head. "I don't think he doesn't want to be saved. I-I think he's just… I don't know how to be saved?" I shuddered. "I know that sounds stupid, but it's different or something. Oren's… Oren's lost his mind. Tony doesn't deserve to just be left there at his mercy. Things are spiraling out of control."
I bit my lip. "I know my brother. He'll struggle to try to keep everything together until he can't anymore. He won't just cut and run, and there's nothing I could do to make him change his mind."
Dagon's gaze remained fixed on me, his sharp eyes studying my every word and gesture.
"I've been keeping records," I continued, my voice gaining strength. "The Council--"
"You haven't learned that the Council at large doesn't care?" He smiled firmly. "They'd just as soon let werewolves tear themselves apart than lift a finger to help."
"But there are children in the pack."
"Lucy was practically a child. They've done nothing to help her."
"Lucy is legal. I'm talking about children--"
"Lucy turned eighteen earlier this year, you idiot. She can't even drink in the human world. She was uneducated, naive, terrified, and could barely muster up the courage to speak. She was a child."
I shut my mouth.
"The sooner you come to grips with what you've done, the easier it will be at large for you."
I nodded. My stomach was turning. "I... I don't know what to do."
He sighed heavily. "First, you should east. Second, you should sleep. Third, you should figure out if you're willing to risk your life for Tony because it's quickly becoming that."
"He's my brother. Don't you understand that--"
"Every one of my siblings would lay down their lives for mine," Dagon said. "Can you say the same of Tony, Matt?"
My jaw trembled. I didn't know. It was such a big, impossible question to answer, but I understood his meaning.
Until I knew for sure, I would just be putting my life at risk for nothing.
"Am I doing the right thing?" I asked, my voice hollow.
Doubts gnawed at me, not just about my alliance with Dagon but also about my own loyalty to the pack. The lines between right and wrong were becoming increasingly blurred, and I feared the choices I might have to make in the days to come. I feared the choices I had already made.
"You're doing what you can." Dagon leaned forward, his expression thoughtful. "Perhaps it's time for you to embrace your supernatural side more fully. You've been living in the werewolf world. You don't know anything about the real supernatural word. With this discovery of a natural penchant for healing, you need to arm yourself with information."
"I already learned the ABCs of the supernatural world."
He scoffed. "From who? Oren?"
I grimaced. "I get your point... But where would I even go?"
"Hecate."
I hesitated, uncertainty gnawing at me. "Hecate? With the barrier?"
"Let's not pretend that you can't get through it."
I winced. "How did you know?"
"You're panicking, and someone told me. That enforcer who saw you and offered you shelter is a member of White Moon."
"I bet she'd take it back if she knew."
"Probably."
I shifted. "I don't know, Dagon. How would I even explain my place there?"
"The Academy has other locations. You could go to the one in Hecate and get a tablet issued for the courses."
I bit my lip. "I'll think about it."
"You need to get control of your powers. Healing magic isn't like other magic. It can drain you... It is draining you, and you aren't feeding yourself enough to make it okay."
He took a deep breath. "And you need counseling."
"I'm not crazy."
"No, but you're going to go crazy if you keep on like this."
I sighed again, torn between my fear and my desire to know. I knew Dagon was only making the suggestions because it made sense, but that didn't make it easy.
"I'll think about it, Dagon. It's a lot to consider."
Dagon's gaze was unwavering as he met my eyes. "Take your time. No mountain is climbed in a day, and you have a lot to climb, alright?"
He stood and pat my shoulder. "Eat some real fucking food before you pass out and end up in a hospital? And stay in a better hotel."
I laughed. "I'll think about it."
As he left, I left with a sense of unease swirling within me. The path ahead was uncertain, but one thing was clear: Dagon was right. I couldn't continue to hide from the truth, not just for me but for Tony, Quillan, and Ginevra, too.
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