Chapter 100: Grief
*I sat with my anger long enough, until she told me her real name was Grief. – C. S. Lewis*
It was Friday, and Dean was still in JD’s bed, refusing to get up. Once a day, he made her get up and take a shower. So far all she had done was sit in the bottom of the large shower and cry. Each day during her shower, JD changed the sheets and got her fresh pajamas from her room.
JD took the tray to the kitchen with the remnants of their breakfast on it. He looked at the princess in the kitchen. She was tall, probably close to six feet, so he knew she was a Reese. But he wasn’t sure which one. Or if she was a sister or niece. No wonder Reese simply called them all princesses.
“Amelia.” She supplied at seeing his confused look. “Gina’s my mom. Does that help?”
“Yes, but I’m going to go ahead and apologize, I will probably forget again.” He admitted.
“Princess works.” She smiled. “I’m pretty sure that O has a spreadsheet to keep all of us straight. If he doesn’t, he probably should.”
“I might do that.” JD gave her a small smile. “Can you change the sheets for me?”
“Everything okay?”
He nodded and then sighed. “She gets in the shower, but just sits there. I can’t imagine what she’s going through.” He swiped at tears forming in his eyes. “Not very manly to cry, is it?”
“It’s very human to cry.” She said gently as she walked over and gave him a hug.
“You sound like Bunny.” He said hugging her back.
“Same profession. She works at the center; I work at the hospital as an end-of-life coach.”
“A what?” he asked with a small laugh.
“End of life coach. I help patients in hospice and their families deal with the situation. It’s hard. Especially when there’s kids involved.”
“And Dean is still a kid.” JD said as he let his arms fall to his side.
“So are you.” She gave him one last squeeze and then stepped back. “That’s why we’re all trying to make sure that there’s always someone here with you two. It’s a lot to deal with.”
He nodded again. “I’m going to go make her wash her hair.”
“You’re a good kid, JD.” Amelia told him. “I’m here if you need me, and yes, I’ll change the sheets. Not sure why you’re doing it every day. It’s not like she’s doing a whole lot right now.”
JD grinned. “It’s what mom would do when we were sick. She’d change the sheets everyday so that we knew it was a new day.” He gave a small shrug. “It was always a comfort to me.”
“Makes sense.” She grinned back. “And Monster is on the bed, and he’s not supposed to be.”
“I’m not taking Monster away from her.” JD said and then walked back down the hall to his room. Stopping in her room, he grabbed a fresh set of Tim Burton pajamas. Then he helped Dean to undress and get in his shower before he stripped down to his boxer briefs. Stepping into the shower, he grabbed her shampoo and conditioner that had migrated to his room over the last few days.
“Lean your head back.” He told her gently and then began to lather her hair.
He used the handheld sprayer to rinse her hair and then, just as the bottle instructed, her repeated. The instructions were clear. Lather. Rinse. Repeat.
The reasoning behind them was not as clear.
Was it to make sure that the hair was clean? Or to make you need more shampoo sooner? And why was *this* his train of thought?
Either way, he rinsed it and then massaged the conditioner into her hair. Running his fingers through her long locks, he wondered how often Mary had done this when Dean was younger. He smiled as he pictured a little Dean in his head.
He’d heard the stories. He had seen the pictures. Imagined the little girl causing trouble with her mom. Glitter and flour bombs rigged up all over the house.
After rinsing her hair, he grabbed the washcloth and added a liberal amount of citrus and berry flavored soap. JD moved her hair out of the way and then washed Dean’s back and arms.
“Finish up.” He said pressing the rag into her hand. Then he kissed the top of her head before standing up and stepping out of the glass enclosure. Drying off with one the large towels from the apartment, he walked into the closet and changed into dry clothes.
JD felt the other person as he pulled his t-shirt over his head. Turning around, he found Dean standing in front of him, naked and dripping water. His body reacted instinctively, and it took a few seconds for his brain to overrule his lust. Once it did, he grabbed the towel he had just used and wrapped her up in it.
“Don’t you want me?” Dean asked quietly.
Pulling her close, he hugged her body to his. “I do, baby, I do. But this,” he sighed, “this is not the time or the place. You’re hurting and I’m not going to take advantage of that.”
She pushed at his chest, and he moved back, letting her go. “Isn’t that my choice?” she demanded angrily.
“Don’t I have a say in it?” he asked, trying to keep control of his anger.
“Fuck you!” Dean screamed. “Fuck you!”
She pounded her fists against his chest, and he let her. He was not going to tell her that she wasn’t hitting very hard.
Amelia appeared in the closet doorway leading into his room. He met her concerned gaze, and she gave him a sad smile.
“You don’t know how much it hurts! She was my only parent!”
“I know, Dean. I know she was and you’re right, I don’t know how you feel.”
“Because you still have your mom!”
“Dean.” Amelia said gently.
“Fuck you too!” She screamed at her cousin before she ran out of the closet. “Get him the hell out of my house! I don’t want to see him anymore! Ever again!”
Her bedroom door slammed shut down the hall.
“It’s the grief talking, not her.” Amelia said softly.
JD nodded. “I know. I’m going to go … somewhere.” He grabbed a pair of jeans off a hanger and prepared to change out of his sweats.
“Okay. Check in with O.” Amelia advised as she went down the hall. Dean’s door was locked, and Monster sat outside it whimpering. “I know, boy. Our girl is hurting.”
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