Chapter 26: Tenderness
*One small crack doesn’t mean you are broken, it means you were put to the test and didn’t fall apart. – Linda Poindexter*
Monday morning, Jolene woke up bruised and sore. She knew somewhere in the back of her mind that she needed to leave. She’d heard the stories all of her life. It would only get worse.
She could talk to Bunny. She was a counselor at the Family Advocacy Center. Had just finished her thesis for her doctorate in psychology. Bunny would know… Did Bunny already know?
Did her family know? Were they ashamed of her? If she left, would her family be supportive? Or would they tell her to go back?
Just like the preacher had.
“God makes a family. He doesn’t want you to leave your husband. He doesn’t want you to get divorced.”
She could still hear his condemning words. Could still feel the shame at wanting to quit. Feel his hands on her as he prayed for her to learn to trust and listen to her husband.
Her heart pointed out that she loved him. And he loved her. Most of the time, he was a great guy. Sweet, loving, kind. He was her hero in blue.
And, part of her mind argued, she had been throwing herself at Matt. Granted, he was gay and she saw him as a potential sponsor for her student teaching. But, thinking about yesterday, she saw what had made Hank so angry.
It had been her fault.
If she hadn’t thrown herself at Matt. If she had given more attention to Hank. If she had been more attentive. There were at least a hundred different things that she could have done, or not done, that would have prevented it.
She would do better.
She had to do better.
Hank had a very stressful job. She didn’t need to add to his problems. And if anyone found out, he would loose his job. The stress would only get worse over a little lapse in judgment.
Her lapse of judgment.
It was her fault that it happened.
It was up to her to fix it.
All day, at school and work, if anyone asked, Jolene smiled cheerfully as she explained that her husband had been teaching her self defense. She was a little sore from her lessons. And because he was a cop, no one questioned it.
Why would they? He was her hero in blue. She just needed to keep reminding herself of that.
Jolene got home from her shift at the café and found a bouquet of flowers on the kitchen counter. She buried her face in the fragrant blooms and smelled them. The front door opened and she looked over to see Hank coming in with pizza boxes.
“I thought you might need a break. I know you have that big paper due this week.”
She smiled at him. This was the man she fell in love with. This was the guy that always brought her flowers and made her feel special. The one who anticipated her needs and took care of her.
Jolene didn’t know that her calendar was synched to one on his phone. He knew everything that she did. Everything.
She put her class assignments on her calendar. Her schedule for work. Tracked her menstrual cycle. Family events. Social events. If she went to the doctor, it went on her calendar.
The only thing that did not go on the calendar, were her lessons. The ones that Hank taught. Usually with his fists. Or his cock. But he always swore it would never happen again.
He was always so sweet and kind afterwards. Always took care of her. Tended to her needs. She needed to be more like that. Anticipating what he needed.
Hank sat the pizza boxes down on the stove and wrapped his arms around her shoulders. Snuggling into him, she wrapped her arms around his waist and rested her cheek against his chest.
“I love you.” She whispered.
“You too, babe.” He kissed the top of her head.
They stayed like this for a few minutes and Jolene enjoyed the embrace.
“You need to eat, I’m working a swing shift tonight. I’ll be home after you leave for class.”
“OK.” She looked up at him and he leaned down to kiss her.
This was the man Jolene fell in love with. The man who caressed her with so much tenderness. Treated her so well.
“Do you need anything before I leave?”
“I think I’m good. You need anything?”
“Just to know that you’re good.” He smiled at her. “You make me the happiest man. You know that, right?”
“You’re my hero in blue.” She said sweetly.
“And you’re my world.” He leaned down and kissed her again. “Come on, let’s eat so you can work on the paper and I can go protect the streets.”
They sat on the couch and ate pizza while watching the news. Then he took a quick shower and got dressed for work. He kissed her before leaving for the night.
Hank worked a swing shift every so often and Jolene thought nothing of it. She did not know that in the morning he would go to another house before coming home.
She did not know about the other woman. The one that did not get hit. The one that knew her place.
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