Chapter 71: Dr. Bunny
*A strong woman won’t go back to the person who broke her heart because she understands that she can’t get happiness from the same place she lost it. – Rayi Noormega*
Tuesday morning Bunny walked into Jolene’s hospital room with a small backpack in one hand and her work bag in the other. She wore a hunter green sweater dress and burgundy leggings. Her knee-high dark brown boots matched the decorative buttons on her dress almost perfectly. There was a slight baby bump that was showing.
Jolene smiled at her from her hospital bed. Daphne had brought her several day dresses and sun dresses that made it easier for her. Today’s dress was long, black and had skeletons dancing around the bottom. It did not take her long to get rid of the pinks and pastels that Hank preferred. Now she wore the darker colors with a goth vibe that she liked.
“You’re not in high school anymore.” Hank would tell her. “It’s time to dress like an adult.”
When she had said something to Neo about it, he simply laughed. “Fuck that. If you like it, wear it.” He held up his hand with the open-mouthed snake tattoo. “If I had listened to people reminding me that I was an adult, I wouldn’t have Betty.”
The next day Daphne had shown up with all her leftover Halloween dresses in Jolene’s size. “I usually say a little birdie told me that you needed some dresses. But this time, it was a snake. A hot snake at that.” She had said with a wink to Jolene.
“You look comfy.” Bunny said as she sat the backpack on the bed.
“I feel more like the old me.” She admitted quietly.
“That’s always a good thing.” Bunny pulled a chair over and sat down.
“What’s this?” Jolene tugged at the backpack.
“It’s what we call a recovery kit.” Bunny said as she sat her own bag on the floor before opening the backpack. “I don’t expect you to want to speak to me about what happened. But I wanted to be the one to introduce you to the program.”
She pulled a small stack of books out. “You don’t have to use it. I can’t make you. But I’m going to encourage it. Whether you do it on your own, or you speak to one of the counselors,”
Jolene nodded. Several of the nurses, doctors, deputies… Okay, just about every person that she met, had advised that she talk to someone. She knew she needed to work through what had happened. And she herself did not know where to start.
“Before we start,” Bunny said pulling her hair back into a loose ponytail, “there’s something that I want you to hear. Things that you need to know.”
Bunny took Jolene’s hand in hers and waited for the younger woman to look at her.
“Nothing that happened is your fault.”
Tears flooded both of their eyes and Bunny gave her a watery smile.
“Nothing that happened is your fault.”
Jolene swallowed hard.
“By the time that the victim is hit the first time, the abuser already has enough control over them that they believe they deserve it. That it’s their fault. It’s not your fault. You did nothing wrong.”
Tears began to fall down Jolene’s cheeks. She took a rough breath in and then a sob escaped her.
“Go ahead and cry, honey. This is your journey; you heal however you need to. If that means that you cry for three days straight, cry.”
Jolene nodded. “I felt so…” she let out a deep breath as she searched for the right words. “Trapped.”
Bunny nodded. “It’s a very common tactic. We see it a lot. The abuser will separate the victim from their support system. Isolate them and only allow them around who they approve of. They spin a story and force the victim to tell.”
Jolene nodded as it all clicked with how she would tell lies to her professors and classmates. The department believed that they were trying for a baby. She would even lie to her mom and brothers.
The tears and sobs were coming harder now. She had never lied to her mom before. Sure, there were the small things growing up and as a teenager. But never anything important. Nothing like this.
“Once the lies start, it’s hard to get out of them.” Bunny reached over and brushed some hair out of Jolene’s face. “And then there’s the shame. The shame of having lied to our friends and family. The shame of staying when we’ve heard our whole lives not to. The shame of allowing the abuse to happen.”
She nodded again. Jolene was crying hard enough now that her nose was running. Bunny reached into the backpack and pulled out a small packet of soft tissues. Pulling out a tissue, she held it to Jolene’s nose.
“Let me get some practice in being a mom” she said, and Jolene couldn’t help the little laugh that escaped as she blew her nose. “Yeah, that’s nasty.” Jolene laughed again as Bunny threw the tissue away.
“Now, let me tell you the other thing that I need you know.” Bunny said with a smile. “And this is almost as important as knowing that it was not your fault. There is always a first fight and a last fight. The number in between can vary from none to way higher than either of us can count.”
“At the end of the last fight, either the victim dies.” She let that thought sink in for a moment. “Or the survivor walks away.”
Bunny brushed some tears off Jolene’s face. “You’re here. You’ve taken the first step in having Marti file for divorce. You’re no longer the victim.”
Standing up, Bunny hugged Jolene as she cried. Jolene wrapped her good arm around the other woman. They clung together as Jolene cried. Eventually, she pulled away and swiped at the tears in her eyes.
“Thank you, Bunny.”
“You’re welcome.” She said smoothing down the other woman’s brown hair. “You would look cute with short hair.”
“I used to have short hair.” Jolene said with her still hoarse voice. “I like it short. But Hank…”
“I know.” Bunny sat back down in her chair and picked up the stack of books. “I can see if someone can come cut your hair, if you want.”
“Maybe.”
“Well, let’s take a look at these.” She laid the books out. “This is a book on learning to live after abuse. This one is a workbook to help you work through your emotions and concerns. And this is a blank journal. There’s another one in the bag.”
“Which one should I start with?”
“I always advise starting with the journal. Just start writing. Get it all out. The workbook and book work together.” She gave a little chuckle. “That sounded funny.”
“It did.” Jolene agreed.
“If you want, I can have one of the other counselors come see you.” Bunny offered and Jolene nodded. “I’ll talk to Olivia. She’s a sweetheart. I also advise coming to the group sessions once you’re able to.”
“Thank you.” Jolene smiled at the older woman. “Jaxon is lucky to have you two.”
“We’re lucky to have him.” She placed her hand on her small bump. “And this little one is going to lucky to have you as a great aunt.”