Chapter 107: Goodbye
*Is there life after death? I don’t know, but I died after you left, and I’m still alive. – William C. Hannan*
The levity of Sunday morning was nowhere to be found on Wednesday. Dean’s tears were back in full force as she prepared to say goodbye to her mother.
The night before at the viewing, she had stayed for as long as she could. But when she had reached her breaking point, she had slipped away for a breath of air. JD followed her and was grateful when Reese texted him.
*Take her home*
JD found her in a side room of the church, sitting on the floor. At first, he did not see her in the dark corner. Her soft voice saying his name drew his attention. Sitting on the floor with her, he pulled her into his lap and let her cry.
When she had cried herself to sleep, he texted Reese saying he needed help. He included a picture of Dean and where they were. Reese appeared almost immediately and carried her out to the car. Jaxon had driven them back home and then JD took her to his room.
She woke up enough to help him get her out of her dress and into one of his T-shirts and shorts. The following morning, she woke up snuggled between JD and Monster. With the first soft sob that escaped, JD pulled her closer to him.
“I’m right here, baby.”
Throughout the morning, he was never far from her. Even when she was curled up in Reese’s lap, he was still close by. There was a moment when she couldn’t find either of them. Jaxon looked at the young woman who looked like a lost little girl.
“Come here, sweetheart.” Jaxon murmured as he pulled her into a hug.
Standing in the small room off to the side of the church, Bunny was coaching her through breathing through a panic attack. Once she was calm again, they let the coordinator know that they were ready. Nearly forty minutes after the scheduled time, the funeral for Mary began.
The volunteer pastor with the county hospital stood behind his regular pulpit and smiled out at the group before him. “This is not how I wanted to see Mary when she got back. But before she ever left the first time, we had a long talk about her fears and even what she wanted if *this* were to happen. At the time, she was a young doctor who had just finished her residency and volunteered to see the world.”
He smiled at Dean. “She would later say that she came back with her world growing inside her.”
JD linked their fingers as Reese placed an arm around her shoulders.
“I remember when Denise was born, and I went to see Mary in the hospital.” He smiled. “She had gone into labor during her rounds and informed me that there was nothing worse than having your coworkers seeing that you need to shave.”
He cocked an eyebrow and there was laughter in the sanctuary. Dean laid her head on her uncle’s shoulder as she smiled at the memory of her mom telling the same story to her.
“Now I want you to know, over the years, whenever we talked about this day, there were a few things that never changed. For anyone wishing to give any remarks, for my own safety, please do not read a certain Psalm.” He leaned in close to the microphone. “You know the one.”
There was another round of laughter as he stood back up straight.
“Mary informed me that if it was even mentioned, she would come back and haunt me. Please, I’m a man of God. I do not need to explain why there is a ghost following me around. She also said that there better not be any sad dirges or hymns. Her suggestions were *Spirit In The Sky*, *Wanted Dead or Alive* or *Every Breath You Take* among others.”
JD squeezed Dean’s hand and smiled at her. She had been afraid that her mom’s personality would get lost in a “normal” funeral. Mary was never what could be considered normal, and she embraced her oddities.
“I’m hoping that she doesn’t haunt me, but I found a poem that fir her and I would like to share it with you. Especially with Dean. This is from Christina Rossetti, and it’s called ‘Let Me Go’ and I think it’s what my friend Mary would tell her daughter.
“When I come to the end of the road
And the sun has set for me
I want no rites in a gloom filled room
Why cry for a soul set free?
Miss me a little, but not for long
And not with your head bowed low
Remember the love that once we shared
Miss me, but let me go.
For this is a journey we all must take
And each must go alone.
It’s all part of the master plan
A step on the road to home.
When you are lonely and sick at heart
Go to the friends we know.
Laugh at all the things we used to do
Miss me, but let me go.”
The large room was silent as he composed himself and motioned for the music to begin playing. Dean, the other princesses and their extended family all began to laugh as *Hey, Soul Sister* by Train began to play. Following Dean’s lead, they all sang along.
Several of the princesses got up and spoke. A few of her fellow doctors also spoke. The pastor gave a few anecdotes about the times that he had worked with Mary. He looked at Dean who gave a small nod before asking JD to go with her.
With JD standing behind her with his silent support, she adjusted the microphone. “My mom and I talked about funerals a lot. We talked about a lot of dark things. Usually, while watching a horror movie or Burton film. She always told me that on a serious note, she wanted me to speak at her funeral.”
Dean smiled. “Okay, mom, I spoke. I miss you. I love you.” Her voice cracked and JD placed his hands on her hips.
“I’m here, baby.” He murmured in her ear, and it was just barely picked up by the microphone.
“A local doctor sponsored my mom for college and medical school on the condition that she help those in need. She never left County, even when Mercy offered better pay. Mom went all over the world to help people. And she always helped anyone who asked.”
She took a calming breath. “I never had the same urge to help. I have the desire and talent for art. Mom never discouraged it. When I was six and she caught me drawing on my wall, she signed me up for classes. Mom always made it to my art shows unless she was out of town. She let me paint monsters on my walls.”
“She’s the best mom I could have ever hoped to have.” Dean gave a small watery smile. “There needs to be more Mary Brennans in the world.”
Turning, she buried her face in JD’s chest, and he wrapped his arms around her. Meeting his own mom’s eyes, he shifted them so that he could speak into the microphone.
“I never got the pleasure of meeting Mary. But if it’s true that every person creates ripples in the ocean of life, then my life has been touched by hers. And it is better and fuller because of it.”
JD then guided Dean back to the pew that they had been sitting in. *Knocking on Heaven’s Door* played as the eight cowboys from the cabaret carried the casket out to the lobby. The ushers guided the mourners out to pass the casket.
The family was the last to leave and the first to arrive at the cemetery. Dean had the same feeling from a week ago. She knew that words were being said, but she did not hear them. With JD next to her, she placed the single white rose on the casket and then he took her to the limo. Reese, Helen and Cheryl greeted the other family and friends, giving Dean a little privacy.
By the time they got in the car, she had cried herself to sleep once again. Dean had already made it clear that she did not want to go to the luncheon that the hospital was hosting. They took her back to the houses and ordered Mary’s favorite pizza.
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