Chapter 108
*One week later*
KATE
"Okay, Lisa, I'm not a kid anymore. I'll take care of myself. I'll swing by later to give you the keys."
"I don't know what got into you to make you decide to leave me."
"You'll love it, you'll have more privacy for your romances." She laughs.
"So, all of this is because of the noise. I promise I'll be quiet. Don't leave me, Kate..." She whimpers. I chuckle.
"I love you, but now I have to hang up and finish organizing my mess."
"Alright, take care, Kate." I hang up.
I still needed to unpack the last few boxes with my things and clean the small apartment. Another decision made: to live alone. Well, I really thought it would help me in some way, even though I know I'll miss Lisa. I guess I need this. In the past week, after signing the breakup agreement with Ryan, I already had a lot in mind to do. The first thing was to change my phone number and block Ryan on all possible lines. It was really hard when he knocked on my door two days in a row and I didn't answer.
Somehow, I managed to realize that I had only known him for a little over a month. But it felt like so much longer in reality. Traveling, fighting, sex... our relationship was completely turbulent, and my life turned upside down quickly. I had lost focus on my career and studies, but I still intended to fix that. I still had almost four months to come up with a new project to present. I hope I can survive.
NATHAN
I increased my pace, my lungs burning and my heartbeat out of control. It was about six in the morning. A cold and gray morning with fog in Central Park. It had been a month. A month without her. I was shattered. The only good thing about all of this was my focus on work. The business had never been better. I was pouring all my attention into being good at what I knew how to do. It was the only thing I could do that still made me forget about her for a short time. But I knew I would easily trade all of this to have her back, and that idea didn't sit well with me.
I felt like an idiot for letting something like this control me. After searching for her multiple times, I stopped when she moved away. I realized that if she was doing that, it was to get away from me, and I should respect that somehow. I wanted her back, but I wouldn't humiliate myself anymore. Especially without having any reason to do so. She left me for nothing, for something I hadn't done. I could chase after her wherever she went, but I realized I was humiliating myself just because I hadn't told her about the encounter with Mia. That was my mistake.
At some point, I thought she would come to me, that she wouldn't be able to bear it because I couldn't. But she didn't come, so I realized she wouldn't do that. So, was this it? The end? Damn it. I had lost the only woman who truly made me lose control of my life in a good way. The only one who drove me crazy and took my focus away.
I felt like shit for already accepting it. My days were shit. My life was shit. Everything was mechanical. It was just days and hours of my life passing by without any meaning. Going out to drink with friends and not being able to pay attention to what they were saying had become routine. Most of the time, I drank until I could fall asleep. I was drinking even on Mondays. My routine was work, training, and the bar. I had a shitty life.
*Four months later*
I sat down with the other guests from the university. I was restless, anxious, and nervous. Damn it, like a little boy. Four months had passed, and they seemed to have gone by so quickly now, but they only seemed that way. Everything was still the same in my mind, memories and feelings. The graduates started to fill the place, occupying the dozens of chairs in the auditorium one by one. I could hear my heart racing, pounding in my ears. I would never find her here.
Wrong. There she was, sitting next to her friend, dressed in a dark blue robe, in the second row. Damn it, my face almost broke into a smile at the sight of her. I hadn't seen her in such a long time. I wanted to see her up close, touch her. Then I shudder and freeze when her gaze meets mine, but she quickly looks away.
Damn it. I need to concentrate on the speech. Say thank you for the partnership with Columbia, talk about the activities of my new assistant, Bethany, compliments and blah blah, talk about the future, about Ryan. Try not to look at Kate. But only at the time of the speech, because I couldn't take my eyes off her at the moment, and I knew she wouldn't reciprocate.
I listened to everyone else speak until it was my turn. I walked up to the podium as they applauded me. I cleared my throat and began the speech when the sound of applause faded.
When it was time to hand out the diplomas, the Columbia Dean asked me to approach and stand beside him. He said the girl would hand it to me, and I should pass it on to those coming towards me. I did it, hoping that it would be me who handed Kate's diploma.
I was already annoyed with shaking so many hands, seeing the smirks from the girls and wishing them congratulations, when I heard her name being called with honors. My heart raced a bit as I saw her walking up the side stairs. She smiled at the dean as she approached, and he congratulated her, then she came to me.
My mouth went dry. She stopped smiling, and I squeezed her hand after handing her the diploma, looking deep into her eyes. The touch was enough to make my heart race even more.
"Congratulations!" I managed to say.
"Thank you," she replied curtly and left the stage. I had to find a way to talk to her.
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