Chapter 33
KATE
That was something new and strange. I don't know how to feel about it. It seems too intimate for the kind of relationship we have. I don't know how I managed to send him away, but I already regret it. I need him. I need him a lot. I have to go down for dinner. I hope I don't run into him, it would be uncomfortable.
After getting dressed, I go downstairs. In the hotel restaurant, I scan the tables, looking for an empty one. My eyes find his, sitting alone in one of the corners. I should have dinner with him, we are traveling together after all, but tonight that is out of the question. I find an empty table near his. Lucky me, Kate. I have to walk over there. I hope my legs don't fail me. I feel his gaze on me during the entire walk. When I pass his table, I see his confused expression. I am afraid he will come after me. But to my relief, he doesn't.
I sit down and a few seconds later, a waiter comes to take my order. He speaks perfect English. I place my order and he leaves. I discreetly observe Nathan, he smiles at something or someone. I notice a blonde woman smiling at him, sitting at a table next to him. Oh, please! Not now! Why the hell is he smiling at her? Is he playing with me? Anger grows inside me. I try to avoid looking at them, but it's impossible. I should have stayed in my room. He's doing this to provoke me, calm down Kate.
My food arrives, which draws his attention to my table. I avoid eye contact and start eating. It doesn't take long for them to start exchanging glances and smiles again. How can he? I would rip his balls off if I could. What should I do? I could go over there and show that blonde bimbo that he desires me, but he would love that and come out on top. I'm not going to give him that satisfaction. No way.
I finish eating. The waiter comes to my table.
"Would you like something for dessert, miss?"
"One minute..."
I pick up the menu and look at the dessert options. They have several options of different Swiss chocolates with creams. I choose one. When I look back at his table, I almost have a heart attack. The blonde is standing next to his table. Are they talking? What the hell is happening? I hope he's not planning on bringing her back to our room. Before that happens, I'm going to cut his dick off. He's not going to do this to me here. I watch the blonde walk away toward the bathroom.
I stare at Ryan, he smiles. Son of a bitch. I know my look betrays all my fury. Bastard. I have to hold back from showing him the middle finger. The waiter returns, places my dessert on the table, and leaves. I stare at my table. I look at the chocolates in front of me. There are various shapes. My eyes stop on one of them, in the shape of a stick. Then I have the most ridiculous idea on the planet. I feel like laughing. It's just a joke. What harm can there be?
I turn my attention to Ryan and smile in a naughty way. I bite my lower lip, noticing his expression change. I pick up the chocolate and bring it to my mouth. He doesn't even blink, his eyes fixed on me. I suck the chocolate like it's a lollipop. I sincerely hope nobody but him is watching this. I lick the short bar and take a bite. I feel ridiculous, not sexy at all. Will he laugh at me? Well, it doesn't seem to be going wrong, all his attention is on me.
The damn blonde doesn't take long to return and sit next to him. He turns to her. I feel my skin burning. I stand up and walk towards the exit, stomping my feet. I could burst into flames out of anger. Once again, I'm feeling jealous, like a ridiculous teenager. We don't have any relationship besides sex, which doesn't give me the right to be annoyed and jealous. Although, he just told me he would be uncomfortable if I were with someone else. How does he think I would feel?
I lock the door after entering. I take off my clothes and lie down, still furious. The hate doesn't go away. How pathetic, why do I give importance to this? I know how much this is hurting me, and I know this kind of relationship between us is unacceptable. I'm afraid of what might happen if we don't end this soon. I can't understand how I can feel something for him. Actually, what do I feel? And how can I let him do this to me? I hate him. I hate the fact that he tries to make me feel inferior and useless. I hate him being so good at what he does. He's just a damn jerk, egocentric, and controlling. This is all a big mess.
On the one hand, I hate him, and on the other, I desire him. The truth is that having sex with him is incredible, he makes me feel desired, and I like that. I like knowing that he needs me. I like the way I fit in his body and his taste. I like to irritate him and see how he reacts. I desire him. A lot. But I hate him. I hear a knock on the door.
"Collins?" It's him. "Kate, open up." He knocks again. "Kate, I need to talk to you."
I can't. Not now. I'm not in a condition to face him. I would either kill him or throw myself into his arms.
"Kate?"
I ignore him. Seconds pass. Minutes. The noise disappears. Did he leave? I hope so. I want to take advantage of the fact that we're alone on this trip, but I shouldn't. I thought I could play his game, but it's dangerous. It can't just be sex for me, not with him. I'm feeling jealous, and I shouldn't be. I'm being possessive about something that doesn't belong to me. I have to put an end to this before it hurts me.
I look for my cell phone on the bedside table. It is almost two in the morning. I get up to get some water and realize that I let it go, and it might have gone after the blonde. Damn. Would he do that? I look for my robe and put it on over the white lingerie I am wearing.
Before I know it, I am standing in front of his door. Should I knock? Or, better yet, should I just walk in? Maybe I don't want to see what's behind this door. Maybe he brought her here.
Before my reason makes me go back to my room, I grab and turn the doorknob, and to my happiness or not, it's unlocked.
I enter and head toward the bed.
I feel relieved when I see his body alone in it. I approach him. Sleeping, he looks kind. I want to touch him. I climb onto the bed, sitting on one side. I observe his perfect face, his full and well-defined lips, his long eyelashes, and his absurdly sexy square chin. I could spend hours just watching him.
Log in with Google Account
Chapters
Favorite
Settings
