Chapter 36
NATHAN
My heart races at the mere idea of someone seeing her like this. Before she opens the door, I step in front of her, holding her hand on the doorknob, preventing her from turning it.
"You're crazy? Do you think you can walk around naked like that?"
"You challenged me, Ryan."
"God! I was just joking!" She laughs.
"Why are you so worried?"
"Because I don't want anyone to see you like this. You should think the same."
"You're not my owner." Her expression turns serious again.
"You're mine, and I'm talking in the most possessive way possible."
"I'm not an object to belong to you."
"I can't even understand you, Kate. You told me to go away, and then you came here semi-naked, in my bed. You say you want me, and then you act totally indifferent. What do you want from me?"
I feel so stupid, she's just a woman! There are so many others. She looks away.
"What do you expect? That I stay with you while you sleep with anyone?"
"What are you talking about?"
"You're such a jerk. You were flirting with that blonde in front of me."
"I'm not sleeping with anyone but you. I was just being nice downstairs. Just like you did with that jerk, Kent."
"You're a jerk, Ryan, and I don't know what's happening to me. I'm..."
"Jealous."
"I never acted like this... And... I know I don't have the right to feel this way. We're nothing, and we have nothing." And here it is, right in front of me. She's confused, like me. If it's hard for me, it must be worse for her.
"We have something..."
"No."
"Kate..." She makes a gesture with her hand, asking me to stop. I approach.
"No." I ignore her and hug her against my chest. She shivers and then shrinks in my arms. "Nathan..."
"I know. I know you're afraid of what they'll think if they know what's going on between us. I know it's hard to believe and trust me." She stares at me and suddenly smiles.
"I hate you."
"I hate you too." I caress her face, feeling her soft skin. Lifting her up, I put her legs around my hips and take her to bed. It's so hard to be close to her. In a few seconds, I'm inside her again. Losing myself. Sinking in a way, I know there's no turning back. Every movement in sync. The touch of her skin with mine. Everything was amazing like it never was. There's no way I'm giving up on this. Between kisses and sweaty bodies, we soon reach the climax again.
Soon she falls asleep on my chest, while the fear of what I feel haunts me, the fear that sex will become something more, the fear of losing her. Fear of ending up at the bottom of the pit. I try to push away that thought, embracing her body. For now, maybe just for now... she's here. She's mine.
"Mr. Ryan..." A voice calls my name, waking me up. A soft and familiar voice. I open my eyes. "Good morning." Big green eyes watch me, along with a beautiful smile. Nice way to wake up, Ryan.
"Good morning." So beautiful.
"I'm sorry for waking you up, it's just that it's past nine, and we need to prepare for the meeting." This kind of approach, coming from her, is quite different from what I'm used to. Is she being kind?
"Okay. I just need a few minutes."
"All right."
Last night, I slept like I hadn't in days. She approaches, leaning over me.
"You're finished, Mr. Ryan," she whispers, making me smile like a boy. Then she backs away and exits through the door. After showering and dressing, I have breakfast in my room and try to mentally prepare for the meeting. My phone rings. It's Stephan. What does he want at this hour?
"Hey," I say curtly. My brother is a pain in the ass, mostly a big busybody.
"With your usual good humor, Nat?"
"And you, with your usual excitement." But how could he be unhappy on vacation in the Caribbean?
"What do you want, Stephan? I'm busy."
"You always are! Last time I talked to you, you had been kicked out by a girl at a bar, I believe? Have you recovered?" He laughs.
"Fuck off! Go take care of your own life."
"Calm down! I'm just kidding! You're always so cranky."
"I have more important things to do! But if you want to know, that girl ended up in my bed that night." A smile spreads across my face at the memory.
"You're a cheap conqueror, my brother. Anyway, I called to see if you'll have some free time for one of those nights when I come back to New York?"
"I'm in Geneva. I'll see when I get back. When are you coming back to New York?"
"If all goes well, next week. Are you alone there?" If he only knew.
"That's none of your business, either."
"I got it."
"Bye. I have business to take care of."
"See you later, *Du Scheisskerl.*"
"*Arschloch!*" I hang up.
"German, isn't it?" I turn to her. Shit! She's wearing one of her typical provocative dresses. This one is black and tight, showing off her curves perfectly. She stares at me, arms crossed over her chest, waiting for a response.
"Yes."
"You're a box of surprises."
"My mother is German, and it's where I was born. I lived there until I was eleven. But I also had to learn English, Irish, French, and Italian."
"Wow. I didn't know that. You speak perfect English. And where is your father from?"
"So curious." She walks toward me with her long and beautiful legs until she stops in front of me, making me want her naked.
"You're so mysterious about your personal life. I'd like to know more about you."
"And I'd like to take off that dress."
"No... we have to go."
"I promise to be quick," I say, grabbing her hip and pulling her towards me.
"No, Ryan!" She tries to push away, futilely putting her hands on my chest, while I press her body against mine, making my erection grow. "Nathan, no! Are you crazy? We have to go now." She laughs.
"I won't be able to concentrate if I'm thinking about taking off your clothes."
"Let me go and try to control yourself, please."
I reluctantly release her.
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