Chapter 41
KATE
"Thank you," I approach him after unbuckling my seat belt and kiss him on the cheek.
"So, is that it? You're not even going to invite me for a drink?"
"This is just a ride, and maybe I'm not the best company tonight."
"You seem like the best company to me. And I'm not talking about anything, you know, beyond having a drink and talking." Why not? Because it's risky being around him while I'm so angry with Ryan. But I imagine how annoyed Nathan would be about it.
"Okay. Having a drink and talking is fine with me."
We leave and walk to the entrance. Bryan doesn't take his eyes off me in the elevator. I know what he wants, and yet I let him come up. Maybe it was a mistake. But I can control the situation. Can't I? We get out of the elevator and walk to my room.
"Welcome, Mr. Pearse." I open the door, smiling.
"Thank you." I point to a sofa, and he sits. "Do you want some whiskey?"
"Yes, please." I head to the whiskey bottle left by Nathan on the table. What is he doing? I thought tonight would end differently. I feel a pang when I remember we'll be going home tomorrow. I take the glasses and the bottle to Bryan.
"Are you okay?" He asks.
"Yes."
"It doesn't look like it, Kate."
"I'm just a little tired." I lie. I'm so angry. He's with someone else now. I'm angry at myself for being so stupid as to continue this, even though I know how much of a jerk he is and that he can't stay with just one person.
"It can't be easy to work with my cousin. Is he staying here too?"
"You mean the hotel, right?" He laughs, nodding. "He's in the next room."
"Pretty close, don't you think?"
"It's a strictly professional and hateful relationship." Very hateful at this moment.
"Great." He says, getting closer.
A handsome man is sitting on my couch. I think he wants me, and he can offer me the pleasure I was denied earlier. I close my eyes, feeling his hand on my face, his fingers tracing my lips. I stay still. I feel his breath. He's so close...
The sound of my phone interrupts us.
"Excuse me." I go to my bag on the table, where my phone is. It's Ryan. I hang up. How does he manage to interrupt me at that exact moment?
There's a message notification from him that I quickly open.
"You left with him? Are you trying to drive me crazy? I thought I made it clear that it's not a good idea to irritate me! I'm going to end you!"
Threats. I can even imagine him yelling. He seems very angry. I decide to ignore him, but he keeps calling. I hang up the phone. What does he think? That he can be with whomever he wants, and that when he needs me, I'll be available? Damn, Ryan.
I return to the couch.
"Is everything okay?"
"Yes, it was nothing important."
"Where were we?" He puts one of his hands on my thigh. Putting a lock of my hair behind my ear, he tries to kiss me.
"I thought we were just going to talk and have a drink," I say, smiling.
"Don't you want to?" Even though I don't want to, something inside me wants Nathan to feel what I'm feeling. "I can decide for both of us if you let me," he says, leaning over me and kissing me. A mechanical kiss on my part. I push him away and stand up, take off my shoes, and sit on his lap, he moans in gratitude.
I take off his jacket and shirt in a somewhat aggressive manner. He's hot, it's far from a sacrifice to do this. I take off his belt, while he watches me with a mischievous smile.
"I want to see you," he whispers. I ignore him and unzip his pants, watching his growing erection under the fabric. He interrupts me, making a quick move that makes me lie down on the couch. He positions himself between my legs. My heart races as I feel his fingers sliding up my legs. Grabbing the hem of my dress, he practically rips it off, leaving my body naked, except for the small panties. Raising my body, I feel his gaze burning my skin. "I could cum just by looking at you," he whispers. I feel a pain in my chest. His lips brush against my neck before reaching my breast and licking it, I squeeze my eyes shut.
A horrible sensation takes hold of me. I want to stop. I want Nathan. I don't want to feel this. Every stimulus makes me feel bad.
"Stop. Bryan... stop," I say.
"What?" He stares at me.
"I can't. I'm sorry," I stand up and almost run towards the bathroom. I close the door behind me.
I stop in front of the sink mirror. I lean my hands on the cold marble surface. I'm trembling. What was I doing? I try to calm my breathing and organize the mess in my head. Shit! Shit, Kate! You screwed everything up.
Minutes pass, and when I can find my good old reason, I wonder what to say to Bryan. He's outside. How do I explain myself? How do I tell him to leave? I put on a robe and without further ado, I return to the living room, without the slightest idea of how to explain myself.
He's standing in front of the balcony door, dressed in almost all his clothes. I walk up to him, stopping by his side.
"Did I do something wrong?" He scratches his head.
"No! It's not you. It's me. I'm sorry, Bryan."
"It's okay, Kate. I think I should go."
"I'm sorry," he walks towards the couch and bends down to pick up his jacket.
"You don't owe me any apologies," he says, buttoning up his shirt. He has the most frustrated expression I've ever seen.
"Damn... I'm sorry," he seems somewhat incredulous. I know that nothing I say will be able to alleviate his frustration.
"Bye, Kate," he approaches me and kisses me on the cheek, awkwardly, before heading towards the door. Damn it. I shouldn't have done this to him. I'm an idiot.
I can't even sleep with a guy who isn't him. Is it going to be like this? Is he going to sleep with others while I wait for my turn? After everything? After he really hurt me today, treating me like an object of pleasure. After he was with that damn Stella, he still manages to make me feel guilty for trying to be with someone else. I'm an idiot.
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